The Triumphant Stroll of the Time Travelers
As Temari carried Shikamaru (who was still pretending to be "Prince Charming" in her arms) down the main path of the Nara compound and toward the village streets, both were roaring with internal laughter.
The Inner Dialogue
Shikamaru's Internal Laughter:
Shikamaru's genius mind, normally plagued by the thought of effort, was currently basking in the brilliance of his own scheme.
His laughter was a silent, deep, rumbling satisfaction. 'This is perfect. I skipped years of awkward courtship, avoided endless nagging from the geezers about my future, and secured the single most capable woman in the world to guarantee my peace and quiet. All it cost was a ten-second sprint and two outrageous lies.
This is the definition of minimal effort for maximum reward. This really is the best possible drag.'
Temari's Internal Laughter:
Temari's internal laughter was sharp, proud, and slightly maniacal. She was thoroughly enjoying the chaos she had created.
'Yoshino-san's face! That pathetic shock! And carrying him? This idiot is heavy, but the look on his father's face was worth the muscle strain. They think this is a lie, but it's all true, just accelerated! We're going to be married, I am the one in charge, and he's going to be a brilliant, lazy house husband.
I literally have my future wrapped up in my arms. This is the easiest mission of my life!'
They settled Shikamaru down as they reached the busy marketplace, Temari taking his hand and swinging it casually as they walked. The stares they received were magnificent—the powerful, composed Suna girl and the infamous slacker of Konoha, holding hands with an air of settled, long-term romance.
Introducing the New Reality
Shikamaru and Temari spotted Chōji and Ino near a street vendor, with Chōji predictably buying chips and Ino trying to drag him away.
Shikamaru led Temari over, his expression carefully neutral, the perfect mask for his inner glee.
The Introduction
"Hey, Chōji. Hey, Ino. This is Temari," Shikamaru announced simply, giving their hands a slight swing for emphasis. "Temari, these are my teammates, the rest of the Ino–Shika–Chō formation. The big eater is Chōji. The loud one is Ino."
Temari nodded, a slight, almost intimidating smile playing on her lips. "I've heard a lot about you two. Particularly about your fighting formation. It's... adequate."
Ino and Chōji immediately stopped their argument, completely floored by the terrifying confidence of the Suna girl and the casual hand-holding.
Chōji's Initial Reaction:
Chōji looked from Temari to Shikamaru and back. He forgot his chips. "Woah, Shikamaru, she's... really pretty. And really tall. Is she going to hurt you?"
Shikamaru's best friend's primary concern was for his physical safety, which was fair.
Ino's Initial Reaction:
Ino, the most vocal and competitive of the two, narrowed her eyes. "Wait, this is the pen pal? The one you ditched your mom's chores for? You have been hiding a girlfriend from us for two years? And she's from Suna?"
Unveiling the Master Plan
Shikamaru, having established the shocking reality of their relationship, decided to drop the mic and explain the sheer lazy brilliance of his future.
"Look, it's simple," Shikamaru sighed, leaning against Temari for support—a gesture that made his friends' jaws drop further.
Shikamaru (Explaining his House Husband status):
"Why wait twenty years to get my life sorted out when I could just fast-track it? Temari here is tough, smart, and driven.
She's going to be busy with important missions—probably managing a nation or something—which means I get to be the house husband."
He continued, beaming. "I manage the Nara compound, make sure the house doesn't fall apart, run the few errands that require minimal effort, and mostly just get to lie around watching the clouds and perfecting my shogi game. It's the ultimate low-effort, high-reward life. I hit the laziest jackpot ever."
Temari (Confirming the Plan):
Temari squeezed his hand, a proud look in her eye. "It's a perfect arrangement. He is a genius strategist, and I need a competent manager on the home front. He's not just lazy; he's efficiently lazy.
He'll handle all the annoying, tedious paperwork and domestic drama, leaving me free for the real work."
The Friends' Final Verdict
The friends stared, not at the spectacle of the hand-holding, but at the sheer, calculated genius of the life plan.
Chōji's Final Reaction:
Chōji, having processed the entire argument, finally understood. His eyes glazed over with respect. "He... he figured out how to get out of almost all work, marry a strong person, and still be important... and he gets a wife who can clearly cook and fight. That's genius, Shikamaru! That's the smartest thing you've ever done."
Ino's Final Reaction:
Ino looked at the couple—Shikamaru, effortlessly happy and planned out, and Temari, strong and commanding, yet clearly devoted. The initial envy drained away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of competitive defeat. "You are unbelievable, Shikamaru! You got a genius-level strategy for avoiding life! You really did win!"
Ino huffed, crossing her arms. "Fine. Congratulations, I guess. Just tell me, Temari... how long does he get to cloud-gaze before you hit him?"
Temari gave Ino a wicked, knowing smile. "That, Ino, is something only his future wife knows."
Shikamaru and Temari exchanged a look of shared victory and started walking away, leaving their dumbfounded friends behind.
The future was secured, and the past was currently a magnificent, hilarious mess.
The "date" was likely a short, highly efficient strategic planning session disguised as a walk, culminating in the purchase of some snacks. But for the purpose of shocking Konoha, it was a profound romantic rendezvous.
The Fairy Tale Ending
As the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in fiery oranges and pinks—colors that perfectly matched Temari's fighting style—the couple returned to the Nara compound.
Temari, true to her earlier promise and much to the public humiliation of Shikamaru's ten-year-old body, executed the "Prince Carry" once more. She held him securely in her arms, Shikamaru looking completely relaxed and content, his head resting against her shoulder. They ignored the continued, frantic stares of the neighbors.
They stopped right at the front porch, where Yoshino was waiting, arms crossed, trying desperately to look intimidating while still reeling from the "house husband" bombshell.
Temari gently set Shikamaru down. He landed on his feet, looking utterly charmed and slightly dizzy from the motion.
Then, Temari leaned down, holding his face in her hands, and delivered a swift, powerful kiss right on his forehead. It was a firm, no-nonsense kiss—a seal of ownership and affection.
Temari (Voice serious, yet tinged with warmth): "I enjoyed the date, Shikamaru. Get some sleep. You'll need your genius fully charged for our next planning session.
Goodnight, Mrs. Nara. I'll see you soon."
With a final, sharp nod, Temari turned and walked off with the confident stride of a person who had just settled the most important relationship of her life.
The Dreamy State
Shikamaru was left on the porch in a complete dreamy state. He wasn't just happy; he was in a state of tranquil, thoroughly satisfied bliss.
* He raised a hand to the spot Temari kissed, his eyes unfocused, a massive, dopey grin plastered across his face.
* His usual cynical expression was replaced by one of absolute contentment and peace.
* He stood perfectly still for a solid ten seconds, an unprecedented display of motionlessness that wasn't due to laziness, but sheer, overwhelming joy.
* He truly was fucking happy. He had avoided decades of relationship hassle and political drama, all summarized in a firm kiss and the promise of a peaceful, well-managed future.
The Final Verdict
Finally, Shikamaru turned his blissed-out gaze toward his mother. Shikaku, having witnessed the kiss from the shadows of the porch, stepped out to stand beside his wife.
Shikamaru (Voice soft, slightly slurred with happiness): "Mom... Dad..." He paused, taking a moment to fully process the genius of his choice. "So, what do you think? Isn't she amazing? I mean, Temari. She's going to be a perfect future wife, right? She's got everything figured out."
He wasn't asking for permission; he was asking for affirmation on his strategic brilliance.
Yoshino's Reaction
Yoshino stared at her son's dreamy, happy face. All the anger about chores, the confusion about the timeline, and the shock of the house husband title evaporated. She was faced with an undeniably, genuinely happy child who had secured a formidable partner.
Yoshino (A sigh of resignation and pride): "Shikamaru... she's... she's certainly proactive. She's strong, she's decisive, and she clearly won't let you get away with anything. Fine! She has my terrified blessing. Just... just make sure she cleans up after herself when she's here! Now go to bed before you float away."
Shikaku's Reaction
Shikaku took a long, thoughtful drag from the cigarette he was holding. He looked at his love-drunk son, then down the road where Temari had disappeared.
Shikaku (Muttering, mostly to himself): "She's a high-level threat, a diplomatic asset, and she manages his laziness without killing him. The efficiency is maddening. The sheer, overwhelming simplicity of his plan... is infuriatingly brilliant."
He put a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder. "She's a genius, son. The most terrifyingly motivated genius I've ever seen. You secured yourself a lifetime of peace. Just don't forget to send the Suna Daimyo a wedding invite."
Shikamaru smiled even wider, knowing his decision had been validated by the two most critical people in his life. He had successfully secured his future and, more importantly, a good night's sleep.