After getting to the street to get some street food after school, I made the mistake of crossing the street like any human does.
I even look at both sides.
But it seems the world thought it was funny to bend the laws of physics to glitch a speeding four-wheeler truck.
I got hit, whole body, flat. I was turned into a red mush as the truck then proceeded to kiss the brick wall of the store. Sandwiching, making my insides ketchup for the tragic burger of vehicle, man, and brick wall.
Suddenly, after a long and paradoxically short sleep, or state of post-mortem, I awoke to the sight of a beautiful, scantily dressed woman. She radiates an aura of divinity and oppressive presence, her head literally being a star of kaleidoscopic light. The rest of her body though? It's a literal bikini, a bare attempt of a toga, and it reeks of eroge.
I didn't say that in front of her, what am I stupid? Hell, I quickly cut the thought even. Who knows what might happen if my lecherous gaze offends her, I might even become the latest character of a Greek tragedy or something.
Trying my best to ignore the two magnificent orbs holstered by the white chest cloth, I listened.
"Your death is my doing," She said, the star-like head pulsating, "This one got too curious of the mortal entertainment called anime and a daydream accidentally led to your demise. For that I apologise, though I reckon you would not accept mere words for a life cut short."
"N-no, It really is-"
"Cut the lies, " The goddess hummed, "It is unbecoming. I sense great fear in you, does it not prevent you from lying? Honesty from a lower being is unflinching to me. Back to the topic! As an apology I will reincarnate you!"
YES!
Need I say more?! This is the dream of every weeb out there, the chance of isekai!
"But also, I will grant you a powerful blessing just because you caught me in a good mood. That anime I watch is exquisite, reasons for why we should hasten this ordeal."
"I understand." I answered, shamelessly not hiding my excitement.
"As you have died truly, I cannot reincarnate in the same world in respect of the rules, therefore you will be transported to a new realm, with its own set of rules, in a different destiny and time. I will not explain, it will ruin the delight of surprise."
The goddess hums once more. Her harmonic voice softened me.
"For the gift," She started, " It is a simple Gacha. Hold your thoughts! I could feel your displeasure of that word, and my surfing of the 'net' resulted in me understanding that gacha is seen as the enemy of man! However, that is for that reason I will give this gift of gacha, I cannot make you all powerful - even though I intend to, and you are not resistant to it - so why not leave it all to 'RNJ' a flip of a coin with each roll. Either a defining ability, or the most vacant of miscellaneous. That is certainly to even think about!"
"Enough chit-chat, I have entertainment to attend to, so [EXTRACT.] " She snap her fingers, and my world turned into black .
…
…
I opened my eyes.
[Greetings host. I am Chaos Gacha.]
Hello there, Satan spawn.
"Stupid question, but what is your function?"
I know it's a gacha, but I don't fully know what type of gacha this is. The goddess did seem to have altered or tweaked this cheat, as to not make it too powerful.
[The gacha is a Sloth-machine with the prize-pool that spans the multiverse. This means the host could roll anything from your left-sock, Freya panties, or the Holy grail. It depends on the host's luck. Although do take in mind the nature of a multiverse, as it is an environment of infinite possibilities it is possible the host could roll a reward that could directly cheat the Gacha. Therefore, there are certain limits. Most importantly, the host couldn't earn any reward that boosted one's luck directly. The host could roll a reward that gives him an authority to hijack the Gacha. And last but not least, the host must play within the parameters of the system, any attempt of violation would cease the ownership of the gacha - you have only three warnings.]
That sounds reasonable.
So gambling, but the reward I could get is infinite. That's already broken, I'm not gonna play around. My previous dislike of Gacha as a concept is dispel, now being face to face with one. What's there to hate really? You have a god-like thing that is bound to your soul, I hope so, with properties that could make you powerful if you just get lucky, and you're angry? Pissed that it is not truly dependent on your will? That's being ungrateful, complaining that the steak is too juicy.
This is why I both hate and am amused by those novel readers and the main characters. Let's be real here, if you were to gain a system that guarantees whatever you want, are you really not gonna use it?
Some say it's a matter of principle. They wouldn't be slaves.
But, to me, it's a matter of usage.
"How do I roll?"
[Direct to the point? Most eloquent,] it said, [To roll you must have Gacha points earned through quest, the quest and Gacha points may vary. And the actual gambling is limited to only three rolls a day, to not get you addicted.]
[As of now, as a gesture of kindness from the supreme deity, she has given you 3,000 Gacha points. Enough to do 3 rolls! Would you like to roll?]
"Yes, I would like to roll," I curled my toes, "Roll now."
[Ding!]
[You have gain {Scroll of Martial Profcieny}! Great understanding and application of known Combat Systems!]
"Another!" I didn't bother to let the first roll marinate
[DING!]
[You have gained {Penis Enlargement Pills x10}.]
"Huh?"
Enlargement what now?
"O-okay," I said, trying to hide my smile
"One last time!"
[DING!]
[You have gained {Hypno Pedulum}! A coin attached to a string. Its steady and pendulum motion induces a hypnotized state to whoever is the target. In this state they are easily suggested and manipulative. Those who are strong will resist its effect, and the target must watch at the coin to maintain its effect. If line of sight were to be removed, the brainwasher only has 20 seconds before the target regains clarity and lucidity.]
"Umm…"
"WHO DO TAKE ME FOR!?"
[Whatever you mean, host? Again, the gacha is random, it is based on chance. Only the Supreme Deity could intentionally make rewards certain.]
"Y-yeah, but seriously…"
On second thought. My mind went back to the second reward, those pills.
Yeah.
Let's drop the moral posturing.
I'm gonna use this.
Get ready for my arrival, world.
This dubious gacha host is coming.
And I mean that in more ways than one.