"I'm sorry" I said to my Mum for what felt like the fifth time; I stood there standing as my mum yelled at me for yet another flaw or little mistake I made and she so happened to find or point out every time she drank way more than what a woman in her late 30s and had work the next day was supposed to.
I just stood staring, seemingly numb to the complaints my mother sent my way in her slurred speech as if it was a normal thing which by the way it was; don't get me wrong I love my mum, she's been the one supporting me ever since my dad passed away when I was 5, she worked 3-4 jobs that paid so little it wouldn't last a week after buying groceries and just that, we never spent money on things deemed irrelevant just the basic needs until my mum landed a job at a tech firm which she qualified for because she had a degree in computer studies but never pursued a job declaring she wanted to be a housewife after having me now, and now though not rich we could buy 5 mansions and still be bleeding money but enough to be able to have our own house, each have a car and owning the latest iPhone.
"Are you listening to me" my mum questioned as she noticed I stopped paying attention which still surprises me because even when dead drunk she can still write an essay for you with minimum mistakes but her tongue becomes an uncaged lion, she spills harsh truths and insults not even relating to you like adult women spill the 'tea' at Sunday brunch.
"Umm yeah", even though I love my mum for everything she has done for me listening to her complain about something so useless and pointless can be tiring luckily this only happens on Friday and only when she lets herself loose, especially after hearing the other, still married women in the neighbourhood talk about their marriage which can sometimes do something to a woman's self esteem.
"Mum, I've said this many times but they're not conspiring against you and no they do not intentionally flaunt how their still living husband pampers them"
"I know honey, but sometimes I think they do it on purpose" she pouted and looked away.
"No they do not"
"Honey, but" she tried to insist but I wasn't having it.
"No buts, it's not their fault dad died of cancer, even if it was which you know it isn't they would be dead by the mountain of debt they'd incurred after suing them".
"I'm sorry honey, I know I shouldn't get jealous especially when your dad loved me so much but...sometimes.." my mother's voice broke as she sobbed not so quietly whenever we talked about my dad, even though I was very young when he died, I still feel sad especially towards my mum who loved my dad so much.
"I know mum, I know" I said as I held my mum comforting her in the little way I could.
I let her cry unto me, her chest heaving and breath ragged as she let it all out.
A minute passed and her breath evened out, her chest rising and falling with soft snores signifying she had falling asleep.
I laid her down on the couch and covered her with a blanket, placing a kiss on her forehead and whispered her goodnight as I left to my room.
*Gasps*
I exhaled a tired breath as I slumped on the bed not bothering to change my clothes as exhausting took over me and I gave in to sleep.