OK, What the hell did I drink last night?
Steve squinted in the bright sunlight, not at all blocked by his bedroom curtains that he most definitely remembered being present when he turned in for a rare early night the evening before, decidedly sober for a change.
Prickly grass assaulted his naked behind.
Naked, normal sleeping condition. Grass? Not so much. Thoughts of his younger days with mates out drinking didn't discount waking up on a random suburban lawn, that would have required a night out with those mates though.
Maybe a decade or two younger too thought Steve,as he stood up, his mind slowly processing the information his eyes and ears had been supplying
Trees. Correction, lots of trees.
"That's called a forest, dumbass" Steve distractedly said to himself as he turned slowly, taking in the scenery.
A stream he'd been hearing came into view, a short distance away, banded by a few metres of pebbles and sand. Low shrubs and bramble surrounded the grassy glade he found himself in, one side boxed in by deadfall, a mass of branches and deadwood blocking the view beyond.
A muffled cracking of twigs and leaves drew his attention to the undergrowth near the stream. Something was pushing its way through the bushes. Tension built in Steve, naked and confused as is.
A Hedgehog pushed its way into the open glade.
"Damn it! You scared the crap out of me!" He cried out, the hedgehog swinging its nose towards the sudden noise.
And growled.
The hedgehog leaped towards him, in two bounds reaching his target, latching its teeth onto Steve's calf.
"What the hell!" Trying to hop away from the crazed hedgehog, falling backwards into the deadfall in the process.
Grabbing a fallen branch, he battered the little beast off his leg, it rolling away from his strike stunned. Steve raised the branch over his head, pummelling the surprisingly tough hedgehog over and over till dead.
A translucent Screen popped up in Steve's vision, followed by his flailing arms frantically trying to wave away the sudden obstruction, fearing another attack.
[ System Spawn Initiating...]
"Weird anime shit? Yeah why not! I could use more freaky stuff right now!"
[ Tutorial Initiating...failed]
[ Tutorial Initiating(2)...failed]
[ Tutorial Initiating(3)...failed]
[ Auxiliary Subroutine Initiating...Successful. Rerouting Stats Matrix...Partial Completion ]
[ Post-Tutorial Minimum Stats Applied ]
[ You Have Killed Hedgehog (White) × 1
Would You Like To Loot? ]
I'm having a stroke. I'm only 35! Shouldn't I be smelling toast or something?
Loot?
[ Loot Received (Inventory)
Plain Cotton Pants.
Minor Healing Gel × 1
[ Status Menu Initiated ]
Status Menu?
The floating Screen abruptly scrolled left at this thought, a new Screen sliding in from the right.
Spawn: Steven Archer
Level: White - 0%
Species: Human
Class: Unselected*
HP: Class Specific
MP: Class Specific
Strength: 2
Agilty: 2
Constitution: 2
Intelligence: 2
Mana: 2
Skills: Class Specific.
Inventory.
*Class Selection Available
"OK. Having a Stroke and hallucinating a role-playing game full of homicidal hedgehogs!"
Reaching down, he wiped the blood from his wounded calf. A small but deep bite mark showed itself.
"Fine then, Where's this damn healing gel? I'm buck naked! Not alot of places for an Inventory!"
The Screen scrolled again, now showing a 5 × 5 row of squares. Two were occupied.
Plain Cotton Pants
Minor Healing Gel (1)
"Thought activated huh? Handy. Or seriously invasive"
He mentally reached for the Gel, a round tin appearing in his hand instantly.
"Would be nice to see what im doing. This damn screen wont Minimise?" he muttered.
No sooner said than it was done, the screen shrinking to a flashing icon in the top right of his vision. The vista of the forest once again overtook his view.
And his bloody leg.
Just my luck I'll be allergic he thought as he unscrewed the tins lid, revealing the pail green Gel. Scooping a handful out, he smeared it on the wound. The pain quickly receded, followed by an itchy but cooling sensation.
"Better work" he muttered,
Inventory Steve said in his mind, the screen filled his field of vision, confirming his test.
Quickly he grabbed the cotton pants, covering his injured leg, and his more tender private areas.
Status Menu.
He reread the information more carefully this time. "Species: Human? As opposed to what?" A shiver ran through him, thinking of Harry the Homicidal Hedgehog, and pushed away all the possible answers for now.
[ Class: Unselected ]
"Class?"
The screen scrolled over, presenting a new list.
[ Class Category ]
[ Warrior ]
[ Ranger ]
[ Druid ]
[ Mage ]
[ Rogue ]
[ Mystic ]
[Multi-Class Available With Appropriate Confluence ]
"Had to ask, didn't ya Stevo. OK, go with the flow or fight the current?"