Kurotsuchi shouted loudly, "Moku Kairen, take this!"
She opened her mouth wide and spewed out a huge amount of concrete.
Four-Tails was very good at being a tailed beast—having just become Kairen's pet, it was about to earn merit.
It flicked its tail, fanning Kurotsuchi's Lava Release right back at her.
Kairen teased Kurotsuchi, "Little beauty, are you trying to drown me with your moisture?"
"Damn it!"
Kurotsuchi ground her teeth, hating Kairen so much her teeth itched.
Kitsuchi spread his hands. "Charge!"
At once, all the Iwagakure ninja rushed at Kairen with red eyes.
"For the women of the ninja world, charge!"
"Defeat Moku Kairen, defeat this tyrant!"
The Iwagakure ninja shouted their slogans passionately; it seemed they had seen through Kairen's sinister intentions.
If this guy kept acting recklessly, he wouldn't leave a single puddle of water for the ninja world—they'd all be forced to walk the dry roads then.
Iwagakure might not be good at other things, but they were pretty slick with Earth Release.
"Combined Technique · Earth Release · Swamp!"
More than a dozen Iwagakure jōnin formed seals together, and beneath Four-Tails a brown swamp a hundred meters in diameter appeared.
Four-Tails slowly sank in.
It wasn't very bright—once it touched the swamp it struggled, and the more it struggled, the deeper it sank.
Iwagakure pressed the attack; seven or eight more jōnin cast techniques.
They each lifted earth clods several times bigger than themselves and flung them hard; the rocks and soil attacked toward Four-Tails' head, the real target being Kairen.
Kairen folded his arms, not a trace of panic on his face.
The whole ninja world was watching! The more it was like this, the more he had to put on a show—put on a grand show, put on a show for the whole world.
Kairen thought about what method to use to block it so he'd look even more unfathomable.
Gentle Fist Rotation! The spectacle wasn't big enough.
Majestic Attire Susanoo—stylish enough, but using it all the time was also annoying.
Then Wood Release it is!
Just as Kairen decided, more than a dozen Earth attacks were already close, surrounding him tightly.
"Damn, I was careless!"
Facts proved that spacing out in battle was like going to the toilet while riding a horse—too idle for your own good.
All the Earth Mausoleum Dumplings smashed down together toward Four-Tails and Kairen.
With a crashing sound, in the blink of an eye they all covered Four-Tails' head, kicking up great clouds of dust.
"Ohohoho…"
Four-Tails howled like a monkey in pain, tears squeezed out.
Kurotsuchi chuckled, then said disdainfully, "So that's all there is."
"Oh."
A faint voice sounded by Kurotsuchi's ear, and at the same time a surge of masculine vigor washed over her.
Kurotsuchi reacted instantly and hurriedly flipped back to escape.
But the moment she landed, Kairen appeared in front of her with a smile.
Kurotsuchi shouted, "You little thief!"
She kicked at Kairen, the angle extremely tricky—right at Kairen's crotch.
She seemed to want to eliminate Kairen's tool of crime.
But Kurotsuchi's kick hit nothing; she couldn't catch even a shadow.
She hurriedly looked around, and to her shock discovered Kairen was right behind her.
Kurotsuchi turned again and missed; Kairen flickered around her like a ghost, and she could never catch his shadow.
Another side kick missed, and Kurotsuchi yelled in rage, "Ahhh… Kairen, stand still for me."
Suddenly, Kairen approached Kurotsuchi head-on like a phantom, his face less than an inch from hers.
Kurotsuchi only felt her face get a little wet; then she saw a tall shadow lightly kiss her cheek.
"Waaah! You filthy hooligan, I'll kill you!"
Kurotsuchi lifted her leg upward, using a smash-the-eggs attack.
Kairen moved like lightning and in an instant grabbed Kurotsuchi's calf.
Kairen stroked Kurotsuchi's leg with appreciation. "So white! So long! So tender!"
Kurotsuchi's eyes were full of anger. "You bastard!"
She opened her mouth, formed seals with one hand, and spewed out a mass of lime.
Then what shocked Kurotsuchi was—
Kairen also opened his mouth, swallowed Kurotsuchi's Lava Release in one gulp, then pushed forward and covered Kurotsuchi's small mouth with his own.
Kurotsuchi stared in shock into Kairen's eyes, in which her own reflection could be seen.
Her heart trembled.
The first kiss she had kept for eighteen years was taken just like that by this big hooligan.
Kurotsuchi's anger immediately surged.
You like kissing, huh? I'll kiss you to death!
Kurotsuchi kept the sealing pose, and lime kept pouring out of her mouth.
Kairen accepted it all, swallowing and breathing out Kurotsuchi's saliva; at the same time he tightly hugged Kurotsuchi's waist, the two of them staring wide-eyed at each other.
...
In the distance.
Only Four-Tails' head was left above the swamp, and it kept shouting for Kairen.
"Save me!"
Seeing Four-Tails tightly bound, Kitsuchi clapped his hands in satisfaction and then looked for Kairen's figure.
"Captain Kitsuchi, look at your daughter—"
Kitsuchi turned around and was instantly shocked.
From afar, Kairen was holding Kurotsuchi in his arms and kissing her passionately; Kurotsuchi didn't resist either. The two looked just like a young couple in the heat of passion.
Kurotsuchi's chakra was gradually running out, while Kairen was still fine after eating so much of her lime. Kurotsuchi finally realized the other side wasn't human—just a very simple-minded beast.
She immediately stopped forming seals and hammered Kairen's chest with both hands, whimpering.
She seemed to want this filthy hooligan to let go.
Kairen was never polite to food delivered to his door. Whether Kurotsuchi bit his lips, pinched his eggs, or grabbed his chrysanthemum, he endured it all and kissed Kurotsuchi's small mouth passionately.
Kitsuchi, the old father-in-law, shouted for the Iwagakure people to rush over.
Seeing it, Kairen released his mouth and, holding Kurotsuchi, space-shifted to somewhere else.
...
After being released, Kurotsuchi sat half on the ground, gasping for breath.
"…No, no, I almost suffocated."
Kairen felt a slight solidifying sensation in his belly; before long he solidified into a statue, still in the Thinker's pose.
Even though his Ōtsutsuki Sage Body transcended mortals, drinking so much concrete still had an effect.
Seeing Kairen turn into a stone statue, Kurotsuchi covered her belly and laughed.
"Hahaha… Moku Kairen, this is the consequence of you kissing me for so long."
All of a sudden, the statue Kairen had become changed from the Thinker into a Discus Thrower, naked, exposing his junk out of nowhere.
Kurotsuchi blinked, suspecting she had seen it wrong.
In the instant she blinked, the Discus Thrower turned into Kairen with a broken arm.
Kurotsuchi was instantly furious. "Moku Kairen, you're playing me!"
Kairen returned to normal and grinned mischievously.
"Just you, and you want to hurt me? Hmph! I'll let you use your hand for three days and three nights— the one who dies of exhaustion will definitely be you."
Just as Kurotsuchi was about to stand up and hit Kairen, she found several wooden vines shooting out from the side and tying her up.
And the ropework was full of Japanese flavor, perfectly outlining Kurotsuchi's superb figure.
Kurotsuchi glared viciously at Kairen. "You damned pervert, let me go."
Kairen squatted down, pinched Kurotsuchi's watery little face, and said with a smile,
"Little beauty, follow me and live with me from now on!"
Kurotsuchi threatened, "Bastard, let me go! My grandfather is the Tsuchikage—be careful he disassembles you with Dust Release!"
Kairen said disdainfully, "Just with Ōnoki? One spit from me could drown him."