The sky was darkening when Sarutobi Hiruzen sent an Anbu to deliver a scroll to the Senju residence.
Moku Kairen unrolled it, glancing at the list of jutsu written inside—then immediately slammed it down with irritation.
"These old foxes are playing ghost stories with me again!"
What kind of jutsu were listed there to make Kairen so disdainful?
Among them was a Forbidden Jutsu—Multiple Shadow Clone Technique—which he already knew. There were also some standard Uchiha Fire Releases, which he had long since mastered. The only unfamiliar ones were around ten Wood Release techniques.
Was Sarutobi Hiruzen trying to take advantage of an honest man?!
Inside his mind, the voice of the cannon boomed: "Boss, he must've figured out you can't awaken Wood Release. That's why he handed you the complete set—memorize them, and once you've saved enough experience points, just exchange them for Wood Release!"
Kairen nodded slightly, then let out a cold laugh.
With his cheat, what kind of release couldn't he learn? The only issue was lack of experience points. In fact, with his chakra control, he could even synthesize new releases on his own—Wood Release, Lava Release, Ice Release, Dog Release…
All he needed was time.
Kairen rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
He needed to train a few shadow clones as his personal "strategists" and research assistants.
Without delay, he copied down every Wood Release jutsu and handed the notes to the Anbu waiting outside. Then he turned and went back into his courtyard, sitting alone on the wooden floor.
"Hey, Kairen!"
Yūhi Kurenai's head popped in through the doorway. She looked at him and said,
"Kairen, Obito and the others are here!"
Kairen stood up. Looking over, he saw five people following behind Kurenai.
They were easy to recognize: Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin, Might Guy, Shiranui Genma, and Ebisu.
Obito wore a pair of goggles and a dark-blue outfit.
He stared blankly at Kairen—who was now a full head taller than him—then ran over and punched Kairen in the chest.
"Are you really Kairen?! Don't mess with me—how'd you get this tall in just a year? What kind of feed are you eating?"
He couldn't believe someone would keep a Transformation Jutsu active all the time. The chakra cost was ridiculous—worse than Kakashi carving dog heads out of Earth Walls!
Kairen looked at Obito, memories of this future mastermind flashing in his mind.
A man who, by his own hand, ignited the Fourth Great Ninja War. A madman who endlessly claimed to be Uchiha Madara, waging war his whole life just to create a world where Rin still lived.
If he'd been a little more ruthless, he could've rewritten the entire history of that war.
"Do you even hear yourself?" Kairen clapped a hand on Obito's shoulder. The memories of their past mingled easily—accepting Obito's warmth was no effort at all.
Guy, dressed in his tight green jumpsuit, bounded forward, circling Kairen twice.
"Solid build! Looks like your strength's really grown, Kairen!"
Kairen smiled. "Of course. Anyone who survives the battlefield has to know a few tricks—or they'd be lying in a coffin by now."
Rin, Genma, and Ebisu each came over to greet him as well.
Kairen frowned. "Where's Kakashi?"
The great Earth Wall Dog Sculptor wasn't here? Maybe still at home carving stone dog heads.
Truth be told, Kakashi had graduated a year early, so Kairen hadn't spoken to him much at all.
Obito chuckled. "Minato-sensei told Kakashi to retake the Chūnin Exams. He got upset and locked himself up at home."
Shizune came out from inside the house, smiling and greeting Obito's group.
Obito grabbed Kairen's arm.
"Come on, let's go to Ichiraku Ramen! My treat!"
Genma snorted. "Bragging like that over a few bowls of ramen—you act like you're buying out the whole shop."
Obito shoved him playfully.
"Then don't come if you're so proud."
Genma smirked. "Why wouldn't I come? Free food's free food! Especially from a stingy rooster like you!"
...
Ichiraku Ramen wasn't far from the Senju compound. Just one street over, it sat on the right side of the main avenue.
On the way, Guy suddenly got fired up.
"You guys go ahead! I'll catch up!" He flipped upside down, walking on his hands down the street while shouting about youth.
Kairen sighed inwardly.
As expected of the Youthful Beast—youth comes whenever it pleases.
By dusk, there weren't many customers. Normally, there'd be a line out the door.
But it was wartime now—the village was on edge, and few people wandered the streets at night.
The owner, Teuchi, squinted lazily in his white chef's coat, radiating the calm air of a veteran boss.
When he saw them enter, his face lit up. He greeted them warmly and easily recognized Kairen.
"Kairen, you've gotten so tall! What've you been eating, boy?"
Kairen and Obito were regulars here, so Teuchi recognized them right away.
Obito nodded in agreement.
"Told you! Kairen must've been eating premium feed—look how fast he's grown!"
Kairen gave an awkward smile. "Teuchi-san, long time no see!"
Teuchi chuckled, picking up a ladle to scoop noodles.
"What'll it be today?"
Kairen replied, "One bowl of ..., please."
"Same for me!"
"I'll take miso ramen."
Everyone placed their orders one after another. Ayame came out to greet them with a polite smile, then joined Teuchi behind the counter.
While the shopkeeper was busy, Kairen and the others began to chat.
Obito hooked an arm around Kairen's neck and leaned on his shoulder, glancing toward Kurenai. He whispered,
"You lucky—you actually got Kurenai! How'd you do it? Teach me!"
Kairen gave him a meaningful look, his eyes drifting toward Rin, who was happily chatting with Shizune and Kurenai.
Obito, the great Strategist himself—if he couldn't "ride" Rin in this lifetime, he'd turn dark forever.
Kairen had to help him out.
He teased first. "Aren't you guys on the same team? You, Uchiha Obito, the so-called 'Romantic Hero'? You've got time, place, and opportunity—how are you still making zero progress?"
Obito scratched his head sheepishly.
"You know I'm shy! I've never dared tell Rin how I feel… Besides, she seems to like Kakashi more!"
Kairen put a hand on his shoulder and said quietly,
"I have an idea."
"What idea?!" Obito's eyes widened, full of anticipation.
Kairen smirked, like a cunning tactician fanning his feather fan.
"No one's ever seen Kakashi's real face. Everyone just assumes he's handsome from his outline. Rin probably thinks so too."
"So—if you transform into Kakashi's appearance, then take off your mask in front of Rin, she'll form a new impression… that Kakashi's actually ugly."
"And since she'll never get to see the real Kakashi's face, that thought will stick with her. When she starts to feel that inner conflict—you swoop right in… heh heh heh!"
Obito burst out laughing and gave Kairen a huge thumbs-up.
"Brilliant! You really are our team's grand strategist!"
Then he paused, frowning, and grabbed Kairen's arm.
"Wait—what do you mean by 'turn into Kakashi, take off the mask, and she finds me disgusting'? Are you saying I'm ugly?"
"It's just a metaphor! A metaphor!"
"Any other tricks? Tell me all of them! I'll take Rin down in one go!"
"What are you two talking about—'taking Rin down'?!" Guy's voice suddenly interrupted.
Obito nearly jumped out of his seat, frantically waving his hands for Guy to shut up.
Kairen turned to look.
Guy was upside-down again, still training in Taijutsu mid-conversation.
Kurenai and the others glanced over curiously.
Obito forced a laugh. "Nothing! Nothing at all!"