Tsunade appears. She even tossed a broom at Kairen.
"Don't just stand there! Get in here and clean the house!"
Kairen took the broom and slowly walked toward the hallway.
As he walked, he snapped his right fingers.
A shadow clone appeared in front of him, and Kairen handed the broom over.
"Go clean the room."
He was now Moku Kairen-sama, after all. As the master, these chores were best left to his shadow clones.
"B-but, main body," the clone stammered, "my body feels weak. Why don't you have another clone do it instead?"
Kairen narrowed his eyes.
This shadow clone sat in a wheelchair, shirtless, his body gaunt and bony, ribs sticking out like someone who'd smoked opium for years.
It was his Nagato shadow clone.
When Kushina saw the clone, she burst into laughter, holding Wolon in her arms and clutching her stomach.
"Hahaha! Don't tell me you ran out of chakra! That's why this clone looks so sickly?"
Kairen stared at the Nagato clone, utterly speechless.
"Why the hell did you make yourself so weak?"
Nagato clone replied with confidence,
"I don't have a loyal Konan right now. So I have to make myself look frail and pitiful—then, a loyal Konan will naturally come to me!"
Kairen slapped him so hard the clone exploded.
Sure, the shadow clones were becoming more distinct in personality—but not always in a good way.
The Sasori clone had honed Kairen's mechanical and crafting skills to new heights.
The Big Cannon clone enhanced his artillery expertise.
But the Nagato clone... was nothing more than a picture of exhaustion.
"Snap!"
Kairen flicked his fingers again and created another, more proper shadow clone to clean the house.
He set Fenchu down on the floor and ran off alone to the Senju family's training grounds to work on a new jutsu.
What he didn't notice was that the headband on his clone bore the words [Thief].
Thief dutifully swept the floor, his eyes quietly sneaking glances toward Kushina.
Minato, meanwhile, picked up Fenchu and joined Kushina in the "pet the panda" squad.
"I need a wingman," Thief muttered.
He quickly formed hand seals and split his chakra in half, creating another shadow clone.
"Go keep Namikaze Minato busy!"
"Uh… I'm just a lawyer!"
"Quit whining, or I'll pay a visit to your home!"
The lawyer, terrified at the thought, straightened his suit and approached Minato.
Minato looked at the oddly dressed clone—it was surprisingly stylish, perfect for an office setting. He thought to himself that when he became Hokage, he'd need a suit like that.
The lawyer flashed a formulaic smile.
"Excuse me, Mr. Minato, do you require legal assistance? I'm a professional!"
"Legal… assistance?" Minato frowned.
What kind of nonsense was that? In Konoha, there was only the Will of Fire—believe in it and you were a comrade, deny it and you were a traitor. Who ever talked about laws here?
Seeing Minato's confusion, the lawyer smiled earnestly.
"It seems Mr. Minato isn't familiar with how the law works. Allow me to give you a brief introduction!"
He gently led Minato away from Kushina's side.
"The law is a necessary pillar of stable governance. It's the dividing line between order and chaos in a society…"
Thief grinned, giving a silent thumbs-up. As expected of his perfect wingman.
He quietly swept his way closer to Kushina, waiting for the right moment to strike up a conversation.
Kushina was still completely absorbed in the world of petting Wolon, oblivious to Thief's approach.
But Kushina's strokes were a bit too rough—Wolon yelped in pain and scratched her hand. The sharp claws tore through her soft skin, leaving a small cut that bled bright red.
Thief immediately dropped his broom and rushed forward, pretending to panic as he took her hand.
"Oh no, you're bleeding! Kushina-san, wait right here—I'll be right back!"
At the same time, he mentally gave Wolon a huge thumbs-up.
This time, Wolon had truly done him a favor.
He turned and ran off. Kushina reached out as if to stop him, but didn't.
The Uzumaki Clan's healing ability was exceptional, and as the Jinchūriki of the Nine Tails, even a small scratch would heal in moments.
Thief quickly found some bandages, returned, and took Kushina's hand. When he saw the wound already scabbed over, he cursed internally.
Still, his excellent customer service instincts made him swallow the annoyance. He replaced it with a warm smile, wrapping the bandage around her already-healed hand with excessive care.
"Kushina-san, you really must be more careful next time!"
Kushina looked at him—this clone of Kairen, in his gray clothes, had a completely different aura from the original.
"You know, your shadow clone has such a unique vibe."
Thief softly rubbed her smooth skin and smiled kindly.
"How so, Kushina-san?"
"You feel… like a daimyo. A wise and ambitious daimyo, even."
Thief chuckled. "You flatter me! How could a humble man like me be compared to a daimyo?"
"Thie? Wait—you're not Kairen?"
"Oh—yes, yes, I am!"
"Hey! Can you let go of my hand now? You've wrapped so many layers, I can't even move my fingers!"
Thief looked embarrassed. Serving others wasn't exactly his specialty. He slowly began to undo the excess bandages.
As he did, he smiled. "Kushina-san, you're truly beautiful."
Kushina's eyes curved with delight—she enjoyed compliments like that. After all, every woman appreciates her beauty being recognized.
"Don't call me Kushina-san, that makes me sound old! Just call me Kushina, okay?"
Thief blurted out without thinking, "But I like 'Kushina-san' better!"
"What?!"
"Ah—no, no, I mean, it just rolls off the tongue better! The main body can call you 'Kushina,' and I'll… 'Kushina-san'!"
"Fine then! But hey, why isn't there a leaf symbol on your forehead protector? Instead, it says 'Thief'? What's that about? Why wear something with the word 'thief'?"
Thief chuckled. "That's my name. It's meant as an insult, actually. As in, screw the thief!"
"Oh!"
"Kushina-san, your hands are so smooth! What kind of skincare do you use? Tell me your secret."
Hearing him compliment her skin, Kushina couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, I didn't expect you to be so interested in women's skincare products!"
I'm not interested in skincare, thought Thief. I'm interested in you, Kushina-san.
...
Kairen stood at the Senju training grounds, refining water-nature chakra in his hands, transforming it inside his body into industrial alcohol. In an instant, the strong scent of liquor filled the air.
He extended his hand, releasing globes of water into the air. Alcohol swirled around him like a mist.
Kairen guided the water chakra with precision, shaping it as it moved.
At times, it formed a dragon of flowing water.
At others, it split into several twisting water serpents…