Three months ago, Annette suddenly appeared in one of the cafés where her brother Elio worked as a part-timer.
"I'm looking for my brother. His name is Elio Oswald..."
She patiently stands at the café counter, eyes scanning the store, worried, looking for his brother, who she saw weeks after he ran away from their home.
Since then, she never heard of his brother and had no idea where he resided or if he was okay with living alone.
Despite the worry and uncertainty about his brother's whereabouts, she believes that her brother's fine. He might be struggling, given that they both came to a very comfortable and luxurious life. Still, she's sure that her brother is fighting to survive.
Yes, she's sure of that.
But her sudden appearance was not entirely connected to her wanting to know how her brother doing. She was there for something else...
Something important.
After a long wait, a co-worker of his brother came to her and shook his head as he explained his brother's current situation to Annette.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Oswald, but...he resigned weeks ago. We don't know where he is."
Annette looked disappointed at that moment but still thanked the guy and left. She went to the car and sat in the back seat in silence.
Her driver saw the disappointment on her face reflected in the car mirror in front, curious about what happened to his young lady at the café.
"Is something the matter, lady Annette? Did you find the young master?"
Annette did not respond immediately. Instead, she took out her phone and typed in a message. She cannot count how many texts and missed calls she has sent to her brother in the past months. All were unanswered; her calls could not reach him as if his brother had gone for good.
"Where are you..." she murmured to herself.
When she got home, she immediately told her mother that Elio was nowhere to be found. Even their best people, experts in finding people, could not locate his brother.
"We have to find him..." her mother said, a mix of concern and anxiety evident in her voice. "But your father must not know about us looking for him. We must find him first before your father does."
Annette nodded in response, but it didn't explain why her mother was eager to look for his son and why it was necessary not to inform her father about them searching for her brother. Why now put all the effort into looking for him if she does have the chance to do that from the beginning? She couldn't help but think about the most acceptable reason. She knows how their father was demanding on Elio ever since they were young; she knows how their mother always hesitated to stop his father from being so harsh on his son as if doing so was a grave sin and unforgivable to his father's eyes, like a person trying to make amends for what happened in the past.
Is it because...Elio was not his biological son.
It was pretty complicated, especially with how their family ended up in a series of nauseating pretenses, maintaining that perfect family image. Annette, as the only person in their family who always observes in silence, witnessed how many times she heard her father and mother argue about her mother's infidelity behind closed doors and how his father reflected it as a harsh discipline towards Elio to make him a perfect son, worthy of the legitimacy he gave him.
On the other hand, her mother was not strong enough to even stand for his son. Is it because of fear? No, maybe because of guilt. Annette knew about it. She could tell without even trying. Her mother was guilty of having an affair with his uncle, her father's twin. It bore a son, her brother Elio, who carries all the weight of her mother's sin, their father's rage, and their family's unrealistic expectations.
No wonder why her brother gradually became tired of being so perfect, silently rebelled by deliberately failing his college studies, let himself be surrounded by so-called friends who gave him a series of problems, and be the opposite of what his father and their family expected of him.
But knowing his brother, he's the type of person who could be easily pressured by harsh and authoritative words, secretly wants to be accepted, and wants to be seen by people who barely acknowledge him. He made the worst decisions he could ever make, making him hit the lowest portion of what they called "rock bottom."
His brother doesn't have a choice, no other means to redeem himself or to reclaim his dignity. His only salvation was to run away and never come back.
Now that she could think about all of these, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Only she could understand her brother's suffering, but what she did all this time was watch.
Would things be different if she spoke and stood up for his brother rather than be silent? Would her voice help her brother to somehow lessen his burden?
It wouldn't help his brother feel he was not alone.
Yes, he's alone the entire time. Trying to fit in, struggling to be accepted and be seen.
However, upon realizing these things, Annette has reservations about whether her brother wants to be found. Knowing his brother, he's the type of person who would prefer dealing with his problem alone, just like when they were kids back then. Even now that they're old, her brother was not fond of asking for help. Instead, he would force himself to endure whatever problems he faced so as not to bother anyone.
But this time, even though her brother doesn't want to be found, she would look for him. Not because her mother asked her to, but because it was the best thing he could do for her brother.
"I must find my brother before our parents do.
However, he never expected finding someone who doesn't want to be found would be tough and challenging. Until now, he had never heard anything about his brother: no reply from all her texts or trace of his existence.
It was frustrating on her part. It causes her to overthink a lot, wondering if he's okay or worse...
No!
Annette immediately shook her head to erase the dreadful thoughts of his brother being killed by the loan sharks or by the mobs. She could think about the image of his brother, struggling somewhere she didn't know but alive.
Hopefully.
Until one day, one of the people she hired to look for his brother came to her with news, hopefully this time--a positive one.
They already knew where her brother was working.
"A...night club?"
"Yes," the person she hired answered. "I got the address. Here. Would you like to try visiting there? See if you can find him." Then he gave her that piece of paper containing the address where her brother was working.
Or...was last seen.
"He's been absent lately," one of Elio's co-workers, Gabe, said while he was busy collecting glasses of wine, trying to balance them on his tray. "The last time we saw him was about five days ago, and he's not yet reporting since then."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Annette inquired further; worry could be traced in her voice.
"I don't know exactly, but lately, I noticed he's getting thinner and exhausted. He looks pale, too, maybe because of the shifts, and he keeps on taking too many pills whenever we're on breaks. That guy doesn't talk much about himself, so I don't know what he has been dealing with lately, but it makes him a little weird..."
Another what do you mean could be read in Annette's reaction. "What about that?" she asked.
"Well, I thought he was just mumbling, but then I noticed he was having a whole conversation in thin air. He was talking to someone but wasn't even there. We do not care at first because he's good at work and surprisingly normal when we talk to him, but sometimes it is uncanny to see him talking in thin air, alone.
Annette's reaction was a mix of confusion and worry. She gripped and tightened her bag while processing everything Gabe said.
"You mean, my brother was kind of...hallucinating or something?"
"I don't know. Maybe. But he looks like he's not, so I can't say it. He's very normal whenever we have short talks and seems to have no issues that could create concerns. But while he was working, he would suddenly stop and then talk, and sometimes he would stop as if he was listening."
Annette suddenly remembered a similar thing that had happened to his brother when they were children. She thought it was just her brother interacting and having fun with one of his imaginary companions. One day, however, he started claiming that their grandfather was still alive, even though he had died long before they were born. This was quickly succeeded by a series of comparable events in which she observed her brother talking to an unseen entity and paying close attention as though someone were there. Because of that, he was reprimanded repeatedly by their father, who warned him never to bring such nonsense to them. Of course, he's just protecting the family's public image. What would everyone say if the heir of the Oswalds was some kind of a...freak.
She saw how her brother broke down, shutting himself to the world, so fearful of people. And there she was in the background, watching, observing...just like she always did.
She cannot do anything for her brother at that time.
And now, hearing it all again, but this time from someone else, it all makes sense now that perhaps her brother wasn't just imagining things...
Maybe it was real.
And it was happening again.
"Sir, if I may ask..." Annette politely asked Gabe this time. "Does my brother tell you something I could use to find him? Maybe he says something about his home or where he usually goes..."
"I told you, missy, he's not much of a talker." He replied, but then he remembered when Elio left early at work several times so he could visit this particular person who owned a funeral shop. "Well, I think your brother was seeing someone."
"Seeing someone? Like...he's dating someone?"
"I'm not sure." Gabe said, "But there was a time he mentioned a guy he met at a funeral shop. Since then, he has kept on going there after work. I think he likes the owner of that shop, but again, he never really talked about things in his life in detail, so I'm not sure. Just a hunch."
"A...funeral shop?" Annette repeated, asking herself, "What's his business with a funeral shop?". Then, after a while, she asked again, "Did he say something about it? Maybe he told you where that shop is?"
Gabe sighed, becoming irritated with so many questions about his co-worker Elio, whom he did not know much about, not even his friend. But he still tried to remember things that could help the young lady. After all, he finds her cute.
"Well..." Gabe paused momentarily before continuing, "He somehow mentioned it. I'm not sure, but I think the shop was somewhere at Shallowmoore Alley, and he mentioned ash trees or something. Maybe that shop was somewhere where you could see an ash tree. That's all I could remember. Maybe start looking there."
Annette became hopeful, at least for a moment.
"Thank you so much!" she said, and then she immediately left the nightclub, leaving Gabe bewildered, scratching his head.
"Maybe I should ask Elio the next time we meet if her sister doesn't have a boyfriend."
On the other hand, Annette did not waste time. She immediately went to their car and asked her driver, "Do you know where Shallowmoore Alley is?"
"Yes, milady." then the driver tapped something on his phone and showed it to Annette. "Somewhere on this side of the town. Not many people go there, not many establishments stood there either."
"We have to go there." Annette's voice was determined, and she was sure her brother was there. She could feel it. "We're going to look for a funeral shop where ash trees could be seen."
"On it, milady."
The card started moving, and as they made their way to the location, Annette could not help but feel nervous, anticipating another failure to see his brother or the thought of seeing him finally.
But when they arrived, the place was empty. Gabe was correct; there were ash trees as if guarding a vacant space in the middle, but no shop.
There was...no shop. It's an empty lot.
"No..."
Annette navigated the surroundings, still hoping there would be a funeral shop nearby the trees, asking the locals if they knew about it, but nothing.
"There's no funeral shop here, milady. Are you sure this is the place?"
Annette could not answer anymore. She was confused and frustrated at the same time. Where would her brother have been going if there was no funeral shop?
Who was he meeting all this time?
Then, for some reason, her gaze shifted back to that empty space between the ash trees where the leaves rustled in response to the soft gusts of the wind.
And for a moment, she swears...
She heard him.