« "Ncc?" I asked confused.
» "yeah, ncc. It's just Parades and stuff." she answered. Thrilled. Encouraging me to take part.
I have never heard about Ncc or what it was. Nor did I have any plans for joining civil service. But for some weird reason my heart was urging me to take part. I didn't think much of it and decided to take part.
'How bad could that be?' I thought while filling the form. I didn't know this one decision could wrek my mental health for the rest of the year.
Next day I bought the form with me to school. I asked every girl in my class if they bought the form and found that I was the only girl who filled the form from my class. I asked my friend who encouraged me to take part. Her answer left me feeling betrayed. She said she'll be taking part next year.
Before we could even finish our conversation, a teacher called all the students to the playground who had bought the form. Before I could answer she held up my hand and told the teacher that I bought the form. I was cursing my life choices as I slowly rose from my seat gripping the form tightly and walking behind him.
The sun's rays burned my skin, the hot wind whipping against me, making it impossible to focus.
I was the first girl there, and immediately regretted being on time as the captain looked at me with an intense gaze. He had dark hair with light beard, perfect posture. His aura was intimidating. Was he judging me because I looked so nervous? Or was he just checking? I was getting more nervous each second. A single girl standing in front of all the boys felt weird and nerve-wracking.
After what felt like ten complete minutes of hell. The girls finally joined. The female captain came as well. She wasn't the sweetest but I didn't have any other option other than just bearing with it.
In the first ten minutes I messed up more than ten times. I was confused and thankful at the same time cause other girls were getting scolded for just breathing too loud and here I was messing up simple 'stand at ease' without a single scolding.
It was break time and we were told to just chit chat and stand in the shed. I couldn't talk to anyone because I felt too nervous. One of the disadvantages of being an introvert. I silently watched him teaching the boys. His posture was perfect. Each thud of his shoes was perfectly timed.
« 'He's the captain for a reason.' I thought. I quickly took my eyes off him so I wouldn't seem like a creep. I stood outside the circle of girls chit chatting. I spotted a girl standing alone and walked to her. It's easier for me to talk to a single person than join a conversation in a group. She introduced herself followed by me. We chatted for a minute before I heard my name being called. I turned around to see him calling my name. Strong confident tone which I couldn't even achieve in my dreams. I answered and walked up to him. He handed me back the form and told everyone that only 3 students brought the form today so he'll take everyone's form together tomorrow. He dismissed us.
I was about to leave when I remembered that I didn't understand part of my form. I turned quickly and asked the female captain for help—completely ignoring him, even though he was closer than she was. She cleared my doubt and I thanked her before sprinting back to my class.
Back at class, my mind kept replaying the moment when he was looking at me intensely.
'Why was he looking at me like that? I know I look ugly but come on I am not that ugly that you seemed that amazed!?'