"Mother-!"
Obadiah paced inside his office at Stark Industries, furious enough to boil a peeled egg.
Just minutes ago, he had loved this place. Spacious. Luxurious. Every detail perfectly to his taste.
Now it irritated him to no end.
Because this office was about to return to its original owner.
Other people's things are always the best. Borrowing them is bliss. Giving them back is torture. Obadiah had planned everything carefully. The kidnapping. The instructions. Kill Tony Stark on sight.
He hadn't expected the terrorists to recognize him.
For terrorists, killing is easy. But it depends on who the target is. A national-treasure-level weapons expert like Tony Stark was priceless. Not only did they refuse to kill him, they let Yinsen save him, ordered Tony to build weapons, and even sent Obadiah a video asking for more money.
"Absolutely zero business ethics!" Obadiah snarled.
Of course he wouldn't pay. Anyone with a brain knew that was pointless. The terrorists had already proven they wouldn't honor agreements. A living Tony was more valuable than a dead one. Some weapons couldn't be bought. They had to be built.
He wasn't worried they'd expose him to the military. Terrorists wouldn't dare. His assumption had been simple: once Tony produced his "final value," they'd kill him.
Only an idiot wouldn't.
That had been his original thought.
Now, watching the video Pepper had Jarvis forward to him, Obadiah realized idiots really did exist. Those terrorists had sold their location for one million dollars.
One million.
He had never seen anything so stupid. At least, given Tony Stark's net worth, they should have demanded a few hundred million.
"No... no, that's not the point." Obadiah rubbed his gleaming bald head. "Jarvis found it. Pepper knows. What if I kill them all? No. Jarvis is tricky. Who knows what Tony left behind. It has to be seamless..."
He exhaled sharply.
"Damn it. Do I really have to save Tony? Or do I gamble on those idiots keeping their word if I pay them?"
Calm down. Think. Cal-...
Calm my ass.
Obadiah covered his eyes.
You don't fear a god-like opponent.
You fear a pig-like teammate.
"What do you mean you can't trace them?"
Nick Fury's single eye fixed on Hill.
"The target is using high-level tech," Hill reported. "We traced it to an idle computer. No recent activity. Security footage shows no one using it. The owner has been cleared."
"So we have to pay to get the video?" Fury asked.
"As it stands, yes." Hill nodded. "Our tech team has bugged the computer. If anyone accesses it, remotely or physically, we'll know immediately."
"Fine. Approve the payment." Fury frowned. "Tony Stark is loaded. Once we save him, a million is nothing."
"I'll arrange it." Hill turned and left.
After she was gone, Fury opened his laptop and pulled up the ledger. In this era, a million dollars was still a serious expense, even for S.H.I.E.L.D. It required his personal authorization.
Naturally.
This was also tied to Fury's absolute control over finances. Officially, it was to prevent embezzlement. Unofficially-
So.
A new entry appeared.
[Purpose: Purchasing video intel on Tony Stark to track masterminds.]
[Amount: $10,000,000.]
Done.
Fury hit Enter and smiled. This was only step one. The rest of the process could wait.
As S.H.I.E.L.D.'s undisputed champion of creative accounting, this was muscle memory.
"Another nine million secured." Fury gazed out the window. "Now... where should I build the next safe house?"
"Sir, we can't trace them!"
"Then pay." Rhodes didn't hesitate.
He didn't understand tech.
But he understood money.
He'd get it back from Tony later. Maybe with interest. Or at least a thank-you.
"Yes, sir. Transferring now!"
"Wait," Rhodes added. "Tell tech to monitor the account and the computer. Don't tell me they missed that."
"Yes, sir!"
Moments later, the funds from both S.H.I.E.L.D. and the military arrived.
"Efficient." Morin filmed Tony Stark suiting up in the Mark I. "Selling to three buyers was definitely the right call."
As a seller with integrity, Morin didn't cheat his customers. Honest business ensured repeat clients.
As for them sending teams only to discover Tony had already escaped-
That wasn't his problem.
The product was sold as information regarding Tony's location.
Not information regarding Tony's current status.
"By that logic, my conscience is spotless." Morin nodded to himself. "I'm such a good person."
The customers, unfortunately, couldn't hear him.
They had just received the video.
And simultaneously discovered unfamiliar trojans on the same computer.
"Caught you!"
"Caught you!"
S.H.I.E.L.D.'s tech division and the military's cyber unit spoke in unison.
The cyber war ignited instantly.
Jarvis, quietly observing from the sidelines: "..."
Father, the world is terrifying.
Why do both of them seem stronger than me?
When are you coming back to upgrade my system?
Soon enough, Jarvis was detected.
And dragged into the battlefield.
A three-way war began.
A consciousness hidden deep within the network noticed the abnormal data surge. His name had once been Arnim Zola. A high-ranking Hydra member, later absorbed by S.H.I.E.L.D. after Hydra's fall.
But villains were consistent creatures.
Zola had carried Hydra's will to the end. To continue serving it, he had long ago uploaded his consciousness into digital form, hidden in an underground facility.
A self-aware "AI."
Not god-tier like Ultron or Vision.
But arrogant enough to believe he was.
Curious, he entered the battlefield.
S.H.I.E.L.D.: "..."
Military: "..."
Jarvis: "..."
Zola: "???"
He couldn't retreat.
Zola was forced into combat.
Shortly after, a hacker group noticed the data storm and joined in out of curiosity.
Five factions. Total chaos.
Then more joined.
Some didn't even know why they were fighting. Their computers had been hijacked as zombies. They weren't about to lie down and accept that.
Fight.
Fight them all.
And so-
The First Cyber World War began.
Morin, the instigator, was stunned.
He had been busy erasing traces, deleting logs. Otherwise, those organizations would have followed the money straight to him. Anonymous black-market accounts. Layered transfers. "Legal" laundering. Lottery-level cleanliness.
Simple work.
But this?
This was unexpected.
"Is this... the butterfly effect?" Morin's eye twitched.
He was just a humble merchant. One product. Three buyers. They just happened to be... slightly powerful.
He never meant to start a cyber war.
He was just a photographer. No salary. No benefits. No insurance. Just filming and selling videos to survive.
"Right. That's me." Morin reassured himself. "None of this has anything to do with me. Cyber war? Never heard of it. I'm just a photographer."
Clear Conscience.jpg.
Ignoring the invisible smoke and fried servers, Morin turned back to the cave.
Thanks to [Photographers Are Always a Legend], Tony and Yinsen couldn't see him. They had no idea a digital war was raging because of their video.
The butterfly's wings had flapped.
The first hurricane was online.
The next storms hadn't reached this cave yet.
As in the original timeline, the terrorist leader noticed something wrong. Tony had vanished from the monitors.
He sent two men to check.
They died to the explosive Tony had rigged at the door.
They were exposed.
There was no choice.
"How was the effect?" Tony asked.
"Uh... bloody." Yinsen peeked at the motionless bodies.
"That's my specialty." Tony forced a smile. "Start the power sequence."
"How?"
"Press F11. Tell me when you see the progress bar."
Tony was fully encased in the Mark I, only his head exposed.
"Done."
"The bar should appear. Ctrl+I. Then Enter."
"Done. It's moving."
"Come help me with the bolts," Tony said. "Once it loads, we're out."
"Looking forward to it."
Yinsen's hands were steady as he tightened the bolts. Without automated tools, his precision mattered. He had even crafted the palladium ring for the Arc Reactor.
Then he noticed it.
Too slow.
The ancient computer was struggling just to run the program. Speeding it up would be like asking an eighty-year-old woman to sprint.
"Not enough time," Yinsen judged.
"Stick to the plan," Tony said instantly. "Stay. Wait for the bar."
"I'll buy you time!"
Yinsen grabbed an AK and ran.
"Yinsen!!!" Tony shouted. "There's enough time! I optimized the code-it speeds up at the end!"
Gunfire drowned him out.
Morin, watching: "..."
Wait.
What?
As soon as the bar hit fifty percent, the speed exploded. Two bars per second became ten. The grandmother became Usain Bolt.
The load finished in seconds.
By Morin's estimate, Yinsen had just reached the terrorists.
So.
He didn't actually need to die?
Morin fell silent.
Even if Yinsen wouldn't die now... was this how the plot worked?
In the original movie, Tony probably never said anything so Yinsen could die peacefully.
So this wasn't the Marvel Universe.
This was the Gag Universe.
Thor.
"Greatest Sorcerer in the Nine Realms" Loki.
Goofy Hulk.
"Family Planner" Thanos.
Confirmed.