ARIA ASTRALIS EURATHEMIA
The palace was hushed by the time I returned to the guest wings, the distant voices of servants fading into the velvet hush of the evening. My body ached with both the fatigue brought about from the strain of mana being drained from my core, and the pain born from my Flaw, as Esil's words echoed against my thoughts.
"There is a connection—faint, yet very distinguishable once you get a feel for it—that acts as a border between life and death. In time, you will grow accustomed enough to the presence of this barrier, and when you do, it'll be much easier to tell the depths of your abilities. For an emitter such as myself, this barrier serves as an insurmountable mountain to cross, as people who've progressed along this threshold for far too long will be forever lost, regrettably. But you… At the zenith of your power, you could be capable of stealing them from the very maw of death itself."
These words had been a sense of guidance for me for the past one and a half month I'd spent in Verlice.
And every day, starting from our arrival, was spent training in order to see this idea through. Naturally, it was gradual.
The regime Esil had for me was one that was, while simple, still required a massive effort from myself.
At noon, around the same time each day, I was faced with a single task: To help repair various injuries of small, wounded animals.
The most recent example of this was a Veilfin Canary, or Veilcan for short.
It was a small, slender bird with a core plumage of soft ivory. Its main attraction was its set of long, iridescent feathers that formed a "veil" along its back and wings, that, when flared, fanned out a shimmering display of colors that acted as a deterrent for any would-be predators, acting as a shield to mask its own vulnerabilities.
An intriguing defense mechanism… Though it also seemed it played more crucial roles than just that. While the veil of feathers was integral to its survivability and communication, it was also a way for it to fit into social dynamics. The less vulnerable a Veilcan seemed, the easier it was to find a mate, and to succeed in its life.
All in all, they were quite the interesting species.
Apparently, this little one had gotten into an altercation with another bird far too large for its size, almost being seized by the maw of death before it managed to be rescued and brought to the Verlice palace for safekeeping, thanks to Esil's efforts.
The maid-overseer was quite infamous for this, actually. Tending to injured creatures.
It was one of the subsidiary functions of the garden, and why it was so expansive and decorative looking; it was home to many such animals.
Now that the creature was safe, the Veilcan could've simply lived its life out in peace here for the rest of its days, just like any of the other ones, but Esil didn't seem to be quite content with that.
I vividly remember the day I asked her about the reasons she wanted me to help, along with her response when I proposed the idea of simply allowing these creatures to continue as they were, imperfect and impaired, so that they would not toy with the idea of leaving and potentially ending up in harm's way again.
She gave me a soft, thoughtful frown and met the gaze of the setting horizon.
"To be caged by another, incapable of walking on your own, or standing after a defeat—are all tantamount to death itself. What I—we—do here isn't so that we may monopolize or control these creatures. It is the very opposite. I seek to grant them another chance at spreading their wings… or in some cases, claws," she added with a sly smirk, "so that they can travel far and wide. Reality is often unforgiving. It finds the most cruel ways to prevent us from achieving what we seek. Sometimes, you just need a helping hand; someone compassionate enough to help you rebound. After all… birds were never meant to fly."
I hadn't understood what she meant at the time—I still don't—but it's something that's stuck with me.
What could she have meant…
Birds were never meant to fly…? Was that, perhaps, not their purpose?
My thoughts came to a close when I realized I was nearing the room door.
I entered and was met with the familiar sight of a quite expansive interior that belied its outside nature, filled with sleek and graceful furniture that were all made from the most exquisite of materials. Immediately, I shot a glance towards the washroom.
A bath sounds good right about now…
I acted on this thought, and soon, the sound of running water was an anchor to my thoughts, keeping them from spiraling.
My sole focus, as of now, was to sink and relax. And forget all of my worries…
But as the Erus Fauna would have it, however, that wouldn't be possible.
The door to the room slightly opened, and emerging from the outside was a girl noticeably younger than myself, with bright blonde hair that faded into a fiery orange.
Her eyes danced around the room nervously before catching onto me, and she visibly relaxed.
"Noelle… Back from training?" I asked, so lightly it was almost wordless.
She nodded, glancing behind me into the steadily rising bathtub, a faint, yet easily recognizable glint shimmering in the depths of her gaze. A soft smile etched its way onto my face and I gestured.
"Well then, why don't we share a bit of peace in the comfort of the water's warmth?"
***
Steam curled languidly around us, carrying with it the familiar—yet deeply comforting—scent of lavender and something faintly mineral. For a moment, I toyed with the idea that the water could have been too hot, but by then it had already coaxed the bone-deep knots and aches born about from my Flaw, and made my limbs feel weightless.
Though the pain was much, much deeper than just bone-deep, an after effect of it was the lingering aches within my physical self
Throughout the course of our bath, I slowly let myself sink deeper, the heat beginning to prickle pleasantly against my skin. In that split moment, it was as if the world had shrunk to the gentle slosh of water and soft hush of Noelle's breathing in front of me.
I observed the way her shoulders steadily rose and fell, tracing the way the light shimmered on her damp hair.
…Which all brought me back to reality.
Tentatively, I spoke up, careful to not bruise her. "How is… it going? With your Grace, I mean."
Her shoulders stiffened, and the air around us seemed to cool despite the bath's warmth.
"...Nothing's been working, despite all that Teacher Esil's gone through to help. It… It feels almost impossible," she admitted, her voice flat, yet unmistakably brittle.
"I'm just not sure what exactly to do. It feels like no matter how much I try, all of my efforts will remain futile. At this rate, I'll never be good enough for them…"
A pang of guilt settled into my gut, hearing her words.
Noelle… I'm so sorry.
I should have done more for her—should be doing more. I knew just how bad she had it, but this…? The burden of expectations placed on us was far more overbearing than it should have been.
Noe was always such a happy girl, those years ago.
I'd never seen her make a sad face even once. The same could be said for Mother and Father.
…At least, before they adopted Noe, that is—believing that she was the other grace. They were the kind of loving, caring parents any child—person—could ask for.
It was only after they learned of my awakening that things had begun to change. Mother's personality shifted, aiming more towards that which could be gained or lost, meanwhile Father became more calculating and cold. They hardly smiled these days.
I was older and had more training, so I could manage this sudden, yet gradual change without too much of a fuss. Such as, when I was told that I had a fiance. One that I had never even met before a day in my life, nor that I felt I'd ever be interested in.
But Noelle…
She was still much younger. She didn't deserve any of this. And it's all my fault.
If only I could help her. If only I was stronger… If being weak was a sin, then, perhaps, I'd be the greatest blasphemer of them all.
But what could I do?
I thought that if I played the role of the proper big sister, never complained, stayed graceful and true, maybe Noelle would learn to draw strength from that.
Clearly, I could see this notion of mine was all but silly and immature.
My eyes closed, and in the moment, I wished the warmth of the bath could ease the ache of regret that sat like a stone in my stomach.
Suddenly, she spoke up, her tone rising with a newfound interest.
"...It's not all bad, though. Ever since our first outing, The Prince has allowed me to accompany him on his early morning walks around the city. We do all sorts of things while we're out!"
I blinked, stunned by this revelation—and the inflection in her voice. As if she held some type of hope. Or maybe… dependance. When I spoke, my voice was light.
"...Every morning? Is it just the two of you?"
She nodded.
"Mm-hmm. It's not every, but it's most mornings. He always pays for everything, saying that his reward is the smile on my face. The Prince is nicer than you may think… Almost like a big brother."
The corners of her lips curled into a content smile.
One that I felt I hadn't truly seen for the past few years.
Prince Seraphis… Does he truly do this?
He had never even said—nor hinted—at this before… And for all these months I've been here.
How long had this been going on for? Was he gaining something out of this?
…And how long would it have taken me to truly see that things weren't nearly as bad for Noelle as I had been thinking?
Now that I think about it, I hadn't seen her make a genuinely sad face since we arrived here; not once, and not like the ones she used to have back home in Eurathemia.
Was I this blind to my own sister's life, to the point where I'd failed to realize just how much she's changed?
I felt the desire to ask further about this—to inquire as much as I could—but the words were tangled in my throat. A lump that refused to detangle itself.
Suppressing this feeling, I rose, feeling the water growing colder.
"Let's get ready for bed… I'll brush out your hair."
Sometime later, I was tucking the young girl into bed, my thoughts still wandering.
Before Noelle's eyes closed, however, she offered one last thing, her words slurred with the pull of drowsiness. "...You should… give him a chance, Big Sister."
And with that, she was asleep.
I lingered awake for a little while longer, my thoughts chasing one another.
Until finally, I came to a resolution, just as the remnants of my consciousness faded.
I had to see these outings for myself.
***
The scent of baking bread drifted from the kitchens, and somewhere, the distant murmurs of conversation echoed.
I moved quickly, steps light, ears tall as they stood on attention for any sign of my quarry.
The palace had grown familiar to me quickly, therefore I was efficient in navigating my way through it, choosing the shortest, most direct paths.
Early morning light filtered in through the windows, the sound of chirping birds creating melodic rhythm.
…One that, this morning, I was too focused—or rather, distracted—to even hear.
My thoughts were racing, considering everything that happened the night before.
The tones she used, the expressions, the genuine relief that led her muscles to visibly relax more so than ever before—all of it.
Not a single thing was allowed to escape my gaze.
"...This time," I whispered to myself.
Absentmindedly, I continued like this, weaving through the palace interior with utmost precision.
Eventually, I went to round a pillar, too deep in thought to even consider the possibility that I might run into anyone.
That was a mistake.
At that moment, the familiar figure of a woman I'd come to learn more about these days peaked around the pillar, and I distantly registered the fact that she had been carrying a laundry basket.
Thankfully, the maid had been vigilant, managing to deftly slip out of the way before anything happened.
I came to my senses in that moment, guilt swelling within as I apologized profusely.
The woman's eyes settled on me, seeming to consider something for a split second, before speaking.
"Lady Aria. Good morning to you, too," she said, looking me up and down. "In a rush today, aren't you? To where, I wonder."
Keeping a fierce grip on my emotions and outward mannerisms, I enacted my practiced motions, quickly slipping my mask back on. "...Teacher Esil. Good morning to you, as well. I hope you can find it within you to forgive me, I was lost in thought for a split moment."
She eyed me curiously before responding. "That's alright. Please, do not concern yourself too much. Just be careful not to run into a wall."
Bowing, I excused myself from our conversation, and I distantly registered that she regarded me for an extra second or two before spinning on her heel.
The rest of the day was spent in observation of the outing between Noelle and Prince Seraphis.
I kept to the shadows, silently watching as the two visited various stalls and shops, seemingly basking in each other's presence.
Occasionally, His Highness found himself engaged in conversation with a passing civilian, curious about him, but otherwise, they were uninterrupted. Each time, though, he managed to smoothly slip between the demeanor of a prince regarding his people, and a bigger older brother, spoiling his younger sister.
I soon found myself almost… admiring him, even. Or was it even admiration? What would this feeling even be called, nestling deep within my heart?
By the time the morning was reaching its end, they were both visibly more relaxed.
All the while, I was left with a maelstrom of emotions and uncertainties.
All of which I'd mask, of course, under the persona of graceful and elegant princess—in the way I was taught.
Seeing Noelle come out of her shell while around the prince made me consider something; an emotion that I knew would fester.
…Perhaps some day I would find out what to do with this part of myself.