Even with all the love shared in that moment…
Even with a part of me trembling at every word they spoke…
Even with my left eye, blue as the sky, soaking like the deepest sea…
I remembered nothing.
But there was one single certainty inside me:
Whoever the old Louie had been… or wherever he was now…
these people standing before me — they were the ones he had loved most in the world.
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The woman who called herself my mother held me so tightly that, for a second, I thought my body might break right there, crushed in her embrace.
It was as if her touch was the only thing keeping her anchored to the world — as if letting go of me meant losing her treasure, losing a piece of herself.
Her hug was full of love and affection, but there was something more. A desperation, a fear of seeing something slip through her hands again. It felt like she was trying to imprison me with her arms, to protect me from something neither I — nor perhaps even she — could fully understand, but that seemed intent on taking me away.
Her shoulders trembled. And even without seeing her face, buried against me, I knew — I could feel it. She was holding back tears she had carried for a long time. Long before this moment, long before finally breaking down in my arms.
And then she spoke — sobbing between tears:
— Louie, my son… Why does this keep haunting us? I tried so hard to escape… I begged so many times for just a simple, peaceful life for you all… But it was all useless.
Her red, tear-drenched eyes turned to me.
And in that instant, her gaze carried no fear, no disgust, no repulsion — nothing of the sort. It was the purest expression of guilt, as if she bore the blame for everything that had happened, for the state I was in, upon her own shoulders.
She kept speaking, between sobs:
— I'm sorry… Son. This is my fault. I should have run farther away… I should have been better than I was… — Her hands shook with every word of regret.
The way she said my name… The way she called me "son"… somehow, it was unbearably painful to me as well.
I still didn't remember anything. But in that moment, even without recognizing that affection, something inside me answered it. Sympathy? A spark… a fragment still left in this grotesque, unrecognizable body? I didn't know… And honestly, at that moment, it didn't matter anymore.
And maybe… just maybe… that's why neither she — nor I — had loosened our embrace.
We stayed like that for a while — until the little blue-eyed girl squeezed her way in between us, eager to join. And with a single silly joke, she lit up the moment like the sun.
— Nina Sandwich! — the girl shouted in the middle of the hug.
We pulled apart just slightly — though her hands still rested on my shoulders.
And in that instant, we smiled together.
Between laughter and tears, she spoke, her face glowing with a bright smile:
— You're here… That's all that matters now. It doesn't matter what happened… or what you've lost. I'm here. Your sister's here too. We'll help you remember… You'll see, everything will come back when the time is right. — A tear escaped my left eye, like a fugitive, as I heard her words. — And even if you don't remember… even if nothing goes back to how it once was… we'll stay together, until the end. And even after it.
My mind was still confused, spinning and vibrating — but words escaped my mouth like music:
— M-mother… S-sister… Thank you… — With those simple words, I felt as though I was filling a vast emptiness inside me. — I'll… count on you, then…
— Yaaaay, leave it to me, big brother! — the blue-eyed girl shouted, her voice full of excitement.
— So… I-I'm sorry to ask this but… what are your names?
The two of them looked at each other — and immediately burst into laughter.
— W-what? Why are you laughing? — I asked, not understanding the reason.
— It's nothing, my son… we had just forgotten about that, — the woman replied with an awkward smile.
— Me! Me first! — shouted the blue-eyed girl at my side. — My name's Nina Kaede, and you're my brother, Louie Kaede!
— Nina… I see. What a beautiful name… — I answered, a silly smile tugging at my lips.
— And mine… is Emi. Emi Kaede. — She sat beside me, at the edge of the bed, in that vast white room.
Her gaze was calm, yet full of strength — like someone who had endured much, and still kept fighting.
— Louie… — she continued, her voice soft, yet firm. — From now on, know that you're not alone anymore. Whatever you need — no matter how difficult, or how silly it may seem — promise me you'll tell us, alright?
— Alright… Mother.
— So, shall we go home now? Hmmm? — Nina asked impatiently. — I can't wait to show big bro everything!
— Patience, Nina, he hasn't been discharged yet, — Emi said, trying to calm her enthusiasm. — I know! How about we get something to eat? Let's go to the market and grab something for Louie. What do you think, Nina?
— Let's gooo! Let's buy coff— — Before Nina could finish the word, Emi quickly covered her mouth with a hand.
— Mmmhmmm! — Nina wriggled, trying to escape.
— Better not, Nina, or he'll fall back into being a coffee addict again… — Emi whispered to her.
— Something happened? — I asked.
— No! Nothing at all, son. Right, Nina? — Emi replied quickly, removing her hand.
— Hehehe, nothing at all! — Nina answered, grinning widely.
And that was how I finally found my place. And even though the emptiness in my chest hadn't vanished, it was finally giving way to a new feeling — one called love.
Even if the love they shared with me was meant for the old Louie…
for an instant, it felt like it was mine too.
Even without memories, even without understanding everything…
In that moment, I felt at home.