Voss slumped onto the sofa, a huge grin plastered across his face. A $5,000 advance and a 10% royalty split—this was like money falling straight from heaven!
"Tom, Jerry, did you hear that?" Voss waved his hands excitedly.
"We're going to be rich! No more expired canned food!"
Tom adjusted his little tuxedo with a dignified air. As a cat with refined tastes, he'd long grown sick of bargain-bin kibble.
Jerry, on the other hand, was already doing a jig on the coffee table, his tiny paws waving like he'd just won the lottery. Finally, he could eat his favorite cheese again.
"Once the advance comes in, we're moving somewhere better!" Voss got more excited the more he spoke.
"A big house with a garden! Tom, you can sunbathe, and Jerry—you'll get your own room!"
But just as Voss was lost in his perfect daydream, a familiar golden light shimmered beneath his feet.
[Ding!][Summoning System reactivated.][Randomly summoning character…]
"Again?" Voss blinked.
"Please, just give me someone reliable this time…"
Before he could finish, the magic circle lit up the room. Tom and Jerry stopped celebrating and cautiously padded closer to watch.
A figure slowly emerged in the glow. First, long, shining blue hair. Then, a delicate face—skin pale as snow, features so flawless they looked sculpted.
"Wow, this one looks promising!" Voss's eyes lit up. "So beautiful, she's gotta be reliable…"
Then he saw her expression.
Empty blue eyes. A tiny, open mouth. That blank, clueless look that screamed, 'I'm an idiot!'
Voss's smile froze.
No way… it couldn't be.
The glow intensified, revealing the rest: a flowing white dress, a translucent feathered robe, and a body too perfect for words.
Voss's face turned pale.
"Oh no… oh no, no, no! Not her!"
The summoning circle flashed one final time.
"Holy crap—it's Aqua!" Voss practically screamed.
The Goddess of Water. The so-called "Idiot Goddess" from KonoSuba.
A world-class disaster magnet.
"Nope. Not happening. No way!" Voss leapt off the sofa in a panic.
"I finally have a stable life—I'm not letting this idiot ruin it!"
Meanwhile, Aqua blinked as her summoning finished halfway.
"Huh? Where is this? Wasn't I just guiding Kazuma in the void?" She looked around, baffled.
Before she could say more, Voss rushed over.
"System! Refund! I don't want this one!" He shoved at Aqua's face, trying to push her back into the circle.
"W-Waaaah?! Stop it!" Aqua flailed, muffled protests spilling out as she waved her arms.
"Go back, go back! I said refund!" Voss pushed harder, desperation written all over his face.
Tom and Jerry just stood there, stunned. They had never seen Voss react like this to a summon before.
But the magic circle didn't care. The light only grew brighter as Aqua's body became more solid.
"Noooo!" Voss shouted, veins popping. "I don't want to spend every day cleaning up your disasters!"
Too late.
Boom!
The light burst, and Aqua fully appeared in the room. Voss, thrown off balance, was knocked flat on his back.
"Haa… haa…" Aqua panted, fixing her messy hair.
"Why are you so rough?! I almost suffocated!"
Then she wrinkled her nose. "And what is this place? So shabby. And it smells weird!"
Flat on the floor, Voss just stared at the ceiling in defeat.
"It's over… my good life is gone… all over…"
"Eh? What's wrong with you?" Aqua crouched next to him.
"Are you overwhelmed by my beauty? Don't worry, it happens a lot."
"It's over… $5,000 gone… house gone… stable life gone…" Voss muttered, glassy-eyed.
[Summoned character detected: Aqua.][Initiating random ability replication.][Replication complete.][Congratulations. Ability acquired: 'Water Breathing.']
Water Breathing – Aqua's exclusive skill. No need to breathe while underwater. (One of the very few things Aqua hasn't managed to screw up.)
Tom and Jerry exchanged worried looks. Whatever this woman was, it couldn't be good news.
"Oh, hello there!" Aqua suddenly spotted them. Her eyes lit up. "What adorable little animals! Can you talk?"
Tom stepped back, while Jerry ducked behind him.
"Don't be shy!" Aqua reached for Tom. "This goddess loves animals! Especially handsome cats like you!"
Tom frantically waved his paw in refusal.
"Wait—you understood me? Amazing!" Aqua's excitement grew. "What breed are you? I've never seen anything like you in the heavens!"
Voss dragged himself upright, looking at Aqua with sheer exhaustion.
"Aqua… do you even know who you are?"
"Of course!" Aqua puffed out her chest proudly. "I'm Aqua, Goddess of Water! The most beautiful, most intelligent, most powerful goddess in all the heavens!"
At the word intelligent, Voss's eye twitched.
"And do you know where you are?" he asked flatly.
"Hm… looks like the human world? But it's awfully shabby. Shouldn't it be more… prosperous?"
"This is New York. Earth. 2007," Voss said, rubbing his temples.
"And not your world. This is another universe. The Marvel Universe."
"Marvel Universe?" Aqua tilted her head. "Sounds powerful!"
Voss could practically feel his blood pressure rising.
This was the world of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk—of Thanos, Loki, and Hydra.
And now… Aqua.
He could already picture it: Aqua flooding Manhattan with her magic, turning the Mississippi River into holy water and wiping out the fish, or demanding worship in front of the Hulk… only to get rag-dolled into the floor like Loki.
Actually… that last one didn't sound too bad.
But still.
Voss dropped back onto the floor, face pale.
"It's over… this time it's really over."
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