Chapter 1: Beginnings
I was born in 1984 in the desert landscape of Arizona. My early years were spent moving between apartments, a few mobile homes, and most memorably, my grandparents' yellow two-bedroom house. That house stood out as my safe haven, the one place where I felt truly grounded. My grandparents were my stability in a world that often felt uncertain, especially compared to the instability I experienced while living with my mom.
One of my earliest memories is of using a payphone to call my grandparents, asking them to pick me up from my mom's place. Even as a child, I knew where I felt safest, and that was always with them.
Life as a kid in those days meant being outside until dark, running around with little adult supervision. Sometimes it was fun, but kids could also be mean, and I never fully trusted many of them. Still, when the adults did gather, usually at the city park, games of Red Rover, freeze tag, and hide-and-seek in the dark would bring everyone together.
I had only a select few friends, and trust was always an issue for me. My best friend, Alex, came into my life in second grade. We became inseparable, exploring the world with innocent curiosity. The mean kids never bothered us, and her mom treated me like family. Alex and I rode bikes together and shared our secrets, building the kind of bond that made childhood bearable. When she eventually moved away, it left a hole in my heart.
At home, my happiest memories centered around my grandparents. I loved spending time with Grandma, learning a little piano, and with Grandpa, watching movies like Midway. Sundays were the best, with Grandma's roast, carrots, potatoes, and onions filling the house with warmth. Sitting at the table for Sunday dinner made me feel like I truly belonged.
Still, not everything was easy. My mom and siblings often teased me about being spoiled, and it hurt deeply. When it got too much, I'd cry or run to the payphone to call Grandma or Grandpa for comfort.
Looking back, I realize that even in those rough times, I was building resilience. I was learning that I could face hardship and still find ways to change for the better. My grandparents, Alex, and those small moments of comfort became the foundation for the strength I would need later in life.