Yuuya Morita had learned a few important lessons in his short, chaotic life as an adventurer in Eldoria:
Slimes could explode if provoked.
Bandits were apparently allergic to hotdog rods.
His party was a walking disaster waiting to happen.
The fourth lesson, which he learned that morning, was that Briarshade Woods were even worse.
The forest loomed ahead like a dark, leafy wall. Twisted trees bent over the narrow path, their branches scratching at the wagon's roof as if warning intruders to turn back. Mist curled along the ground, thick enough that Yuuya's boots made soft squelches with every step.
Selene, as usual, had assumed a heroic pose. "Behold! The enchanted Briarshade! Home to ancient monsters, mysterious spirits, and untold adventure!"
Yuuya groaned. "Or home to random ambushes, poison ivy, and certain death."
Kaela's ears twitched as she scanned the shadows. "I'm telling you, something's moving. I can feel it. Something is watching us."
"Probably just squirrels," Yuuya muttered. "Or maybe… a really pissed-off raccoon. You know, the apex predator of this forest."
Garron grunted, hefting his axe. "If it's alive and moving, I will cleave it. End of discussion."
Iris rolled her dice and whispered, "Hmm… I'm sensing danger… like a lot of it. Ooooh, I like this."
Yuuya muttered under his breath, "I'm trapped in this insanity, aren't I?"
The caravan moved slowly along the winding forest path. Merchants whispered nervously behind their wagons, peeking out at shadows, while Yuuya tried to keep himself calm and keep his satchel ready for random panic-induced transformations.
It didn't take long for their fears to be realized.
A sudden shriek echoed through the trees. Yuuya stumbled back as four goblins leapt from the undergrowth. They were small, ugly, and mean-looking, each wielding crude daggers.
Kaela grinned. "Finally! Something to cut!"
Garron growled, stepping forward to intercept. His axe swung in a terrifying arc, decapitating two goblins in a single motion. The others scattered… right into Selene's magical notes. The bard strummed her lute, sending arcs of energy zipping through the remaining goblins, knocking them off their feet.
Yuuya stared at the scene. "How is everyone so… overpowered and I'm just… me?"
The nearest goblin lunged at him, screeching.
Yuuya panicked and grabbed the first thing in reach: a broken wagon wheel spoke. "Junk Forge!"
The spoke glowed and transformed into… a tiny flaming cannon the size of his arm.
"Wait, what the hell?!" Yuuya shouted, pointing it at the goblin.
He pulled the trigger—well, he tried. A small explosion erupted, sending the goblin flying into a bush and leaving a smoldering crater in the path. Smoke curled up in perfect cartoonish clouds.
Kaela burst into laughter. "You're terrifying! And amazing! I don't even know how to fight next to you!"
Selene swooped in, strumming her lute. "Behold! The music of victory surrounds our hero! Truly, a master of chaos!"
Iris rolled dice, peering over Yuuya's shoulder. "Hmm… double sixes. That could've gone badly. But somehow it didn't. Excellent!"
Yuuya muttered, "I have no idea why it didn't explode on me instead."
Garron grunted, wiping his axe clean. "You're lucky… and irritating."
The goblins were defeated, but not without leaving the forest eerily quiet afterward. Yuuya exhaled shakily. "I need a drink. Or ten."
As they moved deeper into Briarshade, the forest seemed to grow darker, the mist thicker. The path split into three narrow routes, each equally ominous.
"Which way?" Yuuya asked nervously.
Selene dramatically pointed to the left path. "Ah! The path of destiny!"
Kaela's tail twitched. "Right! Definitely right. I smell monsters. I like right."
Iris rolled her dice, letting them tumble across her palms. "Hmm… fate says center. Center is always interesting."
Garron crossed his arms. "Left, right, or center. I don't care. But let's move."
Yuuya groaned. "And that's democracy in action. Perfect."
After heated—if chaotic—debate, they agreed on the center path. Predictably, chaos ensued.
Half an hour later, the trees opened into a small glade. A pool of water shimmered in the center, and Yuuya noticed the ground was unusually soft. Something moved beneath the water.
Kaela crouched, ears perked. "I sense… something. Big. Very wet. Very slimy. Definitely aggressive."
Selene held her lute high. "Ah! The fabled Briarshade water spirits! Perhaps they are friendly!"
Yuuya squinted at the rippling water. "Friendly? Have you looked at the last friendly monster we met? Slimes, exploding rocks, bandits? Yeah, 'friendly' is not their strong suit."
Without warning, a massive slime the size of a wagon rose from the pool. Its translucent body shimmered with green light, and its countless smaller blobs started bouncing outward.
"Great," Yuuya muttered. "A slime again. Because apparently, slimes never die in this world."
Kaela grinned. "Finally, a challenge! I've been waiting for this."
Garron growled, hefting his axe. "Stay behind me. I'll smash the big one first."
Yuuya dug through his satchel, grabbing a bent frying pan. "Junk Forge!"
The frying pan twisted, elongating into a glowing spear, humming with energy. "Okay… this… this might work," he muttered.
The battle erupted into chaos almost immediately. Kaela leapt onto the slime, slicing at smaller blobs. Selene strummed her lute, sending arcs of magic into the water. Iris rolled dice repeatedly, predicting hits and misses with a manic gleam in her eyes. Garron swung his massive axe, cleaving slime after slime with terrifying precision.
Yuuya jabbed with his glowing spear. Every swing caused random effects: some blobs exploded, some became harmless harmless glitter, one even transformed into a small flock of angry birds that pecked at everyone indiscriminately.
Yuuya groaned. "I hate this skill. I hate everything. I'm going to die. I'm going to die and it's going to be embarrassing!"
Selene clapped her hands, ignoring him. "Oh, marvelous! The chaos, the unpredictability! Truly, Yuuya, you are an inspiration!"
Kaela laughed, ducking a flying slime blob. "You're either the luckiest or the craziest adventurer I've ever met. Maybe both!"
Iris rolled dice and shouted, "Double six! More chaos incoming!"
Garron just growled. "Focus, people. Or we all die."
After what felt like hours (but was probably only twenty minutes), the massive slime was finally defeated. The pool had drained into a muddy mess, the glade was covered in slime goo, and the party was sticky, exhausted, and battered. Yuuya collapsed into the mud, clutching his glowing spear.
"Survived again," he muttered. "Barely. This world hates me… I can feel it."
Selene twirled dramatically. "Glorious! Our hero has triumphed once more!"
Kaela laughed so hard she fell face-first into the mud. Garron sighed, wiping slime from his armor. Iris rolled her dice one last time and laughed.
Yuuya muttered under his breath, "I need a new life. Or at least a hazard pay bonus."
They gathered the loot, which included a few minor potions, some silver, and one glowing orb of unknown origin. Yuuya shoved everything into his satchel, carefully counting his remaining Junk Forge uses: two left.
Two.
He sighed. "And so it begins. The rest of the week is going to be… terrible."
Little did he know, this was only the first real step toward total party chaos, cursed weapons, and adventures that would make him question every life choice he had ever made.
Briarshade Woods had claimed many adventurers before, and Yuuya? Well… he was about to find out exactly why.