Chapter 149: This Is Good Enough
The room fell into brief silence, only their gradually steadying breathing remaining. Sasuko lowered her eyes, carefully smoothing Naruko's collar.
Naruko gazed at her focused profile, asking softly, "What do you plan to do next?"
Sasuko's fingers paused slightly. She continued straightening the fabric wrinkles, voice light. "I don't know. But for now, I don't want to go back or see him."
Hearing this, complex envy rose in Naruko's heart—Sasuko always had a place to return to, someone who'd let her act willful, someone she cared about.
"I understand you're not feeling well." Naruko chose her words carefully. "Usually you wouldn't lose control like this... Did something particularly happen?"
Sasuko slowly sat beside Naruko, hands tightly clasped on her knees, fingertips whitening from pressure.
After long silence, she finally recounted everything from that afternoon: the avoided kiss, Yu's deliberate evasion, the suddenly failing Flying Thunder God mark, plus memories of that Yu who used to laugh and joke—now forever beyond reach.
"I can feel he cares about me in his heart," Sasuko's voice soaked with confusion and pain. "But every time I think we've drawn closer, he immediately retreats, closing his heart's door even tighter."
Naruko listened quietly without interrupting. Only after Sasuko finished did she sigh lightly.
"I've known Yu for less time than you." Naruko's gaze turned toward the heavy night outside the window. "The Yu I've seen has always been this way—gently polite yet like being separated by an invisible wall."
She turned back, gaze falling tenderly on Sasuko's face. "But you're different. That Yu who laughed and joked that you speak of—only you've seen him. Even if he seals himself off now, to you he's ultimately special."
"What use is being special?" Sasuko's lips curved in a bitter arc. "This 'specialness' can't let me truly approach him."
Naruko gazed at Sasuko, mixed feelings churning within.
She thought Sasuko somewhat greedy—clearly already possessing the closeness she herself desperately desired, yet wanting more. But thinking again, if positions were reversed, she probably couldn't be satisfied with stagnation either.
Yet for her current self, even if just in a younger sister's capacity, as long as she could stay by his side, she'd be willing.
She reached out, lightly pinching Sasuko's soft, delicate cheek, her tone carrying helpless teasing. "Sasuko, those words really sound like bragging."
Sasuko didn't push away Naruko's hand, merely saying in a low voice, "What's there to brag about... Now I'm just like you, only able to watch him from afar."
This statement made Naruko freeze slightly. She released her hand, turning to gaze at the heavy night outside.
"Sasuko, do you know?" Naruko's voice was light. "Every time before visiting you two, I have to prepare for ages... how to phrase each sentence, what reasons to find, what clothes to wear."
"I want to stay by his side every day yet fear he'll find me annoying. I always say I'll compete with you, but actually..." She paused. "I can't see even a shred of hope."
"Forget confessing... I don't even have the courage to touch his hand."
"I can only carefully hide my feelings, afraid that once spoken, even chances to meet will disappear."
Naruko rambled on at length, tone so calm it seemed she was telling someone else's story. Yet Sasuko listening beside her felt her heart gradually grow heavy.
Sasuko was momentarily speechless. She'd always known Naruko harbored feelings for Yu, yet never imagined these emotions ran so deep as to reach such humble depths.
"If you feel there's no hope," Sasuko asked softly, "why not try looking at others?"
Naruko immediately recovered her usual playful expression, reaching out to pinch Sasuko's cheek. "Hmm, trying to convince me to give up while I'm vulnerable? Sasuko's really cunning."
She surveyed the somewhat empty room, tone relaxed. "I'm used to living alone. Even without results, I don't want to settle casually."
"Besides, living alone is actually pretty good."
Another half-sentence remained hidden in her heart, unspoken: This heart can no longer hold anyone else.
Sasuko gazed at the room's simple furnishings, thinking of these years Naruko had always lived alone. Sudden heartache rose for this perpetually bright-smiled girl.
"Who told you to give up?" Sasuko lightly slapped away Naruko's still-mischievous hand. "I just saw you like this..."
"Saw me how?" Naruko tilted her head with a gentle smile. "Aren't I doing fine?" Speaking, she rose toward the kitchen, tone light. "Want some hot tea? I just bought good tea leaves a few days ago."
Sasuko followed into the kitchen, watching Naruko skillfully boil water and warm cups. This small kitchen was tidy and bright, every utensil neatly positioned, yet somehow conveyed indescribable coldness.
"When did you learn to make tea?" Sasuko leaned against the doorframe asking. She remembered Naruko used to find these steps most troublesome.
"I learned long ago." Naruko looked down, concentrating on rinsing tea leaves. "Yu likes drinking tea, doesn't he? I thought... if someday he visits, I couldn't fail to serve decent tea."
Though in these years, he'd never come once.
In rising steam, Sasuko saw Naruko's lashes tremble lightly.
"Actually, things are fine now." Naruko gently placed brewed tea before Sasuko. "Being able to occasionally see him and exchange a few words—I'm very satisfied."
Watching this Naruko, Sasuko could no longer speak words urging her to give up.
"Mm," Sasuko said softly. "If there's opportunity, I'll come drink tea with him."
Naruko's eyes immediately curved in delight, her whole face brightening. "I've prepared many types of tea leaves—there's definitely ones you'll like!"
Sasuko nodded slightly. Outside, night deepened. She suggested staying overnight at Naruko's place. Naruko hesitated before asking, "Shouldn't you tell Yu? So he won't worry."
Sasuko puffed her cheeks. "No need. He won't worry... When I ran out, he didn't even stop me. Besides, he can definitely sense where I am."
Hearing this, Naruko stopped insisting.