Your eyes snap open.
A crack of moonlight finds its way through the curtains, giving the room a gentle glow.
You habitually reach to your nightstand, feeling around for something that isn't there.
Oh shit, my phone is still in my pocket. I must have fallen asleep for a long time.
You bring the device out, squinting past the glaring light.
2 AM. Shit. I slept at 5 yesterday. I'm not gonna be able to sleep for the rest of the night.
You crawl out of bed and to the bathroom, noticing your sleeping roommates.
You scoop warm water into your face as you ponder what you'll do for the rest of the night.
We're heading home tomorrow morning - today, technically. Not much time left. What should I do?
With your pajamas on and slippers muting your footsteps, you head towards the exit.
I don't need to worry about appearances - no one's gonna be out this late.
The door softly creaks as you open it, the hallway light seeping in before you step out and quickly close it again.
Might as well take a walk.
You make your way down the hall, noticing the nearly absolute silence.
You stop at the end of the hall and close your eyes, focusing on the faint sounds of the street and the feeling of the air.
You barely hear a door open far behind you.
You whip around, immediately worried about being caught in your pajamas.
You see a short woman, wearing a pink, oversized robe over her pajamas, slowly make her way out of her room before freezing as she notices you.
You stare at her, too far away to recognize the figure.
But as she walks in your direction, you begin to recognize her.
"Hey, Lily..." You say, immediately surprised by the creakiness of your voice.
"Oh, it's you," she responds with an exhausted voice.
"What are you doing up so late?" You ask as she continues dragging her body in your direction.
"I was gonna ask you the same thing."
"I slept really early yesterday. What about you?"
"Oh. I'm just so used to sleeping past 3, I couldn't get to bed this early," she replies.
...early?
"You look pretty tired to me."
She doesn't respond as she makes her way past you to the elevator.
She presses the up button before standing back and waiting with a soft sigh.
"Where are you going?"
"To the roof," she curtly replies, clearly not looking for much more conversation.
"Oh, I didn't know the elevator takes you there."
"It doesn't. The escape hatch on the top floor does."
"Oh... interesting," you note as you prepare to continue walking around the floor.
"...Do you want to come?" She tentatively asks as she flashes you a brief glance, to your utmost surprise.
It didn't seem like she was interested in even speaking to me. I guess looks can be deceiving.
"...Sure..." You cautiously reply. After all, you were interested in seeing what the view would look like.
The door opens, and you both silently step on. You don't say a word, for fear that she'll take back her decision.
You make your way to the top floor, then she shows you how to get onto the roof.
You gasp as you make your way into the windy air of the cool night, and crawl towards the edge, looking over the roof and seeing the endless streets, still bustling with cars, as well as the hundreds of buildings viewable in the moonlit night.
"First time, huh?" Lily cheerfully asks, smiling as she sees your genuine amazement.
"Yeah..." You say, breathlessly.
"I always love the view on places as high as this... and it seems you do too."
She makes her way towards the edge, places her slippers next to her, and sits, her legs dangling in the air over the streets far below.
Your heart jumps as you think about getting that close to the edge. Her observant eyes catch your hesitation.
"Oh... Do you need help?" she asks.
You make your way towards the edge but tremble in fear as you get a foot away from it, unable to bring yourself closer.
"Here, I'll help you," she says, as you nod appreciatively, grateful for her lack of judgment.
She carefully gets off the edge, makes her way behind you, and gently grips your left hand and shoulder. You feel her gently push you, guiding you to the edge, and you get closer, comforted by Lily's presence holding you.
You sit down, remove your slippers, and place one foot over the edge, and then the other. At her encouragement, you slide forward, holding your breath as more of your leg loses ground.
Eventually, you make it, and Lily comfortably slides in next to you, crossing her legs and swaying them forward and back. She lets go of your shoulder, but she retains her hold on your hand.
Leaning over and looking down at the fingernail-sized cars, you feel your muscles tense, and you tighten your grip on Lily's hand.
She responds by interlacing her fingers with yours, and you settle down, slowly recovering your breath. You both sit in silence for minutes, taking in every aspect of the city while your hands keep each other company.
"How was your trip so far?" You decide to ask.
"It was alright," Lily responds, feeling a little better, "...it could have been better."
"How come?"
"Well, I... actually, I probably shouldn't talk to you about this... How was yours?" Her voice quiets briefly before picking back up again as she passes the question to you.
Deciding not to push, you respond, "It was great! I loved spending time with friends. The club was really fun too."
You turn to face her, just in time to see her face visibly darken.
"...Is something wrong?" You ask, oblivious to the recollective imagery flowing through her mind.
She bites her lip in contemplation and pushes up her large glasses, taking a deep breath.
"...i... what you... and aria... did..." Her fragile voice is unable to push out the words, and she doesn't bother to hide her growing emotion.
Your face flushes with embarrassment.
Shit. How could I forget? No wonder she reacted that way. I shouldn't have brought up-
"I just felt... so..." She struggles to finish, cutting off your thoughts.
"I'm so sorry, Lily," you respond, not wanting to see her suffer through the rest of her words.
"No, that's not it... I meant what I said about you doing whatever you want, it's just..." She says as she waves her hand in the air.
She puffs her chest as she blinks back tears and builds the confidence to speak her mind.
You sit back and let her finish, already preparing another apology.
"I just felt so... excited..." She finally lets out.
Her final word freezes the air in your lungs.
"And I don't know why," she continued, letting the floodgates open, "but I felt something I've never felt before when I saw you two. In the bathroom."
You stare at her, your brain unwilling to understand.
"I've been stuck with this emotion ever since, and it's been killing me."
"oh..." You force yourself to release your breath.
"It's super important to resolve these things, you know? It's really bad to keep feelings bottled up inside. But I couldn't get myself to talk with you or Aria about it. But... then I heard you leave your room tonight..." She looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to understand.
After a second, the puzzle pieces lock into place in your mind.
And I thought it was just a coincidence that we met tonight.
"I did this because I need to talk about it," she reiterates, her chin drooping to her chest.
"Ok... let's talk about your feelings. Tell me what you feel," you respond, feeling pity at her turmoil.
She slowly nods, squeezing your hand in appreciation.
"Thank you for not judging me," she candidly says, before continuing.
"Of course. I won't tell anyone about what we're talking about," you add, thinking it would help her feel safer.
The way she's been speaking to me... It almost seems out of character. I've never heard her this serious and focused before.
She nods and continues. "When I saw Aria's face as you two... you know... I felt... excited, and almost a little... jealous of her," she adds on, searching within herself for the right words.
"I realized that I hadn't felt that way in... well, ever. Every time I look at you, I get those feelings again."
Wow. She's brave for telling me this. Especially since it could ruin her relationship with Michael if he found out. Dealing with this must mean a lot to her.
You scoot closer to her. She looks up at you, and you see her cheeks flush deeply before she quickly looks down again and furrows her brows, confirming her previous statement.
"I see. Is there anything that you think could help get rid of those feelings?" You ask, looking up at the clear night sky and noticing the massive field of twinkling stars for the first time that night.
She purses her lips. "Well... Wait, you're dating Rae, right?"
Your mind instantly flashes back to the events of the previous day.
No way. She told EVERYONE that quickly?!?
"Well, it's complicated, but- "
"Really? It didn't sound like it when she told me."
"No, I mean, we're together, but... polyamorous," you finish.
"oh... OH," she says, and you curiously look to see her expression turn to one of interest.
"So... if you're ok with this... and I'm ok with this..."
She removes her hand from yours and places it on your upper thigh, looking at you for a reaction. "I'd like for you to help me figure this out."
...so this is how she wants to deal with it? But why? And besides...
"You have a boyfriend, Lily," you sternly respond. You respected Michael and wouldn't let Lily do something like this.
"I know, ok? I'm not asking for any attachment. I just... want to... do it. I need to get over it." Her final words cut through the air as she spits them out.
"But what about Michael?" You ask, not content with her answer and temporarily ignoring her clear intentions.
"He always supports me in dealing with my emotional issues however I see fit - that's why I love him."
"But... isn't this too far?"
"It's just sex. I just need to get these feelings out of the way. And this is the best way to do that." She grabs your forearm with both of her small hands as she pleads.
...just sex?... Hmm, I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that someone who cares so much about emotions doesn't place much importance on sex.
You consider it for a brief moment, but you instantly shut down the idea.
"Lily, I..." You try to formulate how to reject her.
You turn to look at her and see her pouting with disappointed eyes. She pulls her hand away from you, folds her hands in her lap, and squeezes her eyelids shut over her puppy-dog eyes as her forehead wrinkles. She looks away from you, trying to hide her quivering lips.
You grimace and look away, seeing how painful it was for her and knowing that you could help.
Is it right to reject her when she's suffering like this? This is a big deal for her, and I don't want her to continue struggling with this. But it's also technically cheating...
You look at her once again, and her large, soulful eyes regain their sparkle as she sees you reconsidering. She holds her breath in anticipation.
"I don't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want..." She slowly starts, but you can see how badly she wants you to say yes.
You take a deep breath and close your eyes. After thinking for a few seconds, you feel her hand slip its way back into yours.
"Alright," you start, after opening your eyes and turning to face her, "if it'll help you deal with this..."
"Thank you thank you thank you!" She quickly wraps her arms around you, making you gasp as you feel your upper body nearing the edge. You quickly reach forward and wrap your arms around her torso, stabilizing both of you.
"Maybe we should go somewhere more appropriate," she suggests, giggling.
She grabs your hand and leads you toward the hatch that brought you to the roof.
"Lily, we can't do this in any of our rooms. Someone will wake up."
"Oh shit... " She stops in place, making the same realization.
You both look around at the roof, seeing only hard, concrete surfaces.
After a minute, she suggests, "What if you bring a mattress up here?"
"What! Someone will definitely notice me!" You respond, shaking your head.
"Not if you're quiet. I would help you, but then we'd definitely be noticed."
Bring my mattress? All the way up here? So we can... you know what, let me not think too far ahead.
"pwetty please?" She says with an exaggerated pout as she opens the hatch and beckons.
...
You quietly pull the blankets and pillows off of your bed, dropping them next to the frame. You pull the mattress off with great effort, silencing your breath.
You quietly drag it to the door behind you, ensuring that you stay as quiet as possible.
Lily meets you at the end of the hall, and she helps you awkwardly place the soft mattress into the elevator. Amidst the resounding silence, you can hear the elevator cables churning as you elevate.
You hear a giggle, and you look around the mattress to see Lily's hand covering her mouth.
"I'm sorry, it's just so funny," she says, "that we're bringing a mattress to the roof."
You had the thought earlier, but hearing her cute giggle, you can't help but laugh along.
After stepping off, she helps you fold the mattress into a size that can fit through the hatch. The mattress springs back to size on the other side, and Lily drags it while you close the hatch.
You turn around to see her sitting on the mattress, robe hanging off her shoulders, staring off into the city.
This is it, I guess. I never would've thought this would be how tonight turned out.
Lily turns around to face you and beckons.
You crawl next to her and place an arm around her shoulder. She shrugs off her robe, revealing her matching pink nightgown underneath.
"Are you ready?" You ask, noticing that she hadn't broken her gaze from the cityscape
Snapping back to reality, she turns her body to face you, and opens her arms, nodding in response.
You crawl into her awaiting arms, and you place your arms on the mattress below as her arms wrap around your neck.
A warmth overtakes your entire body at once, as she pulls you down on top of her on the mattress, wrapping her legs around your torso.
She sighs in pleasure as you run your hands along her arm and to her neck, settling into her grip before leaning in.
Your lips brush across hers, sending a shiver down your spine as she leans in for more.
You crash your lips against hers, stifling her gasp as you cup one hand around her jaw. She tastes sweet, and you wrap your hand around her to pull her in even closer.
She grabs your hair and runs her other hand along your back, hiking up your shirt as you explore her mouth.
You break off from the kiss to lift your shirt up and off of your head. Her hands instantly move to your chest as you lean back in, already missing the intoxicating sweetness of the kiss.
As soon as your lips make contact, she grabs you by your bare shoulders and flips you over to straddle you with surprising strength. She sits up, legs on either side of you, and quickly unbuttons her shirt. Your eyes bulge with lust as you see her braless figure. Usually concealed by baggy clothes, you never realized how incredible she looked underneath.
She turns away as her cheeks turn crimson.
You quickly sit up, holding her by the hips, and ask, "Are you ok? Is something wrong?"
"No, I'm ok... it's just that... no guy has ever looked at me like that before," she cutely responds.
"Really? With a body like that, I'm shocked," you honestly reply, taking another look at her.
She grins, leans forward, and embraces you with another kiss, pushing you back on the mattress as her hands slide their way down your chest.
You run your hand along her thigh, feeling its smooth warmth as you grip her breasts with your other hand. They were on the smaller side, but they fit your hand nicely. You feel her smile into your mouth as you squeeze her soft mounds.
After fumbling for a second, she finds the hem of your pants and swiftly pulls it down. Your erection pops out into her waiting hand, and she quickly moves off of you to slide her pants and underwear down to her ankles before kicking them off to the side. She immediately crawls back on top of you, leaning forward to kiss your chest before straddling you once more. She strokes your cock a few times before aligning it with her opening.
You think about suggesting foreplay, but quickly realize you shouldn't.
This isn't about pleasure for her. This is about getting rid of her desires. I'm just along for the ride. Literally.
She tries to sit down on your hardened cock, but you quickly feel resistance. She tries to push herself down further, but she groans in pain.
"Lily, stop," you say as you see the struggle in her face. "You can't force it. How about I help you ease it in?"
"Sorry... ok, sure," She quietly replies.
You sit up, holding her hips an inch above you. You lean in, placing your mouth on one of her breasts. Your hand finds its way to her clit, and you sensually rub the area.
She practically collapses into your arms as she experiences the explosion of stimulation, but she steadies herself.
"Holy...shit..." She says between moans.
You give her breasts the love they deserve, lapping and licking at them while you continue working on wettening her with your hand. You remove your hand from her clit and slowly stick your index finger into her opening, waiting for her to express pain. She doesn't. You increase it to two, pumping the entire length of your fingers into her.
Her breath is shallow and quick, and she reaches a hand down and resumes rubbing her clit. Before you can react, she pushes your fingers away and lowers herself down, taking in your first few inches with a sharp moan. Still rubbing herself, she slowly takes in a few more inches.
"Lily, you don't have to go all the way down if you- OH!" You groan out as she pushes down all the way, absorbing every inch of your raging erection into her now-dripping pussy. You feel her hips contact yours, and you slowly start grinding your hips. Without separating her hips from yours, you grab her butt and gently push and pull her, making her inhale sharply as your cock rubs and contacts every millimeter of her insides.
She throws her head back as you hit an extra sensitive spot, inviting you to move up from her breasts, gently kissing her collarbone and making your way up to her neck.
She throws her arms around you and starts gently bouncing, pushing up on your shoulders before settling down once more. You feel her tight walls clamp around you, pleasuring your cock as you continue to ravage her neck.
She pushes both of your intertwined bodies down onto the mattress, now lifting her hips into the air before slamming them back down again on your cock, her breasts smashing into your chest. Your hand slides down her arched back and to her ass, reflexively squeezing as she lifts her hips extra high.
Your lips lock with hers, and she pushes her tongue past yours as her small nose brushes against your cheek.
You start to match her thrusts, driving your hips up into her as she comes down. She cries out with each thrust, tightly gripping your arm as she approaches orgasm.
"Ah~ Ah! fuck... " She mutters into your mouth, driving you to go faster. You grab both of her asscheeks and increase the pace, driving her hips up and down even faster. Her nails dig into your arms as she reaches the brink, but you barely notice the pain.
You feel her hands and insides clamp tightly around you, not wanting to let you leave. She remains motionless for a few seconds, her breath taken away by euphoria. You consider stopping now that she finished, but you're too close to quit now.
"I'm gonna..." You let out, hoping she understood the message as you continue thrusting harder and harder into her.
She picks herself up and off of you before kneeling down beside you. She reaches both of her hands out and strokes you, her delicate fingers quickly pumping their way up and down. Her shoulders pulse up and down with her upper body as if she was giving CPR.
You sit back, panting as you feel yourself reach the edge.
You hold on for as long as you can before letting yourself go, releasing your cum all over Lily's hands. You stare up at the night sky, taking in the stars once more as you ride out your orgasm, soaking her fingers in your warm semen.
You feel her hands leave your cock, and you remain laying on the mattress as she wipes her hands.
After a minute, you feel a warm presence next to you. You look to your left to see Lily sliding next to you.
You watch her scoot closer and cuddle with you, laying her head on your chest and her clean hand on your cheek.
You turn towards her, expecting to see her smiling and relaxed. Instead, you see her furrow her brows in thought.
"Are you ok?"
She looks up at you and her cheeks flush. She inhales sharply as she pulls away from you and turns around, facing away from you on the mattress.
"Hey, what's wrong?" You ask again, leaning over and gently pulling her shoulder toward you.
She obliges and falls onto her back, not making eye contact with you.
"I don't think it worked."
You have to think for a second before realizing what she means.
Oh. Dammit... Well, what can we do now? We certainly can't do this again. Then it really becomes cheating.
She places her hands over her eyes, suddenly looking exhausted. You pull them away, not wanting her to cry.
She pushes herself away, her cheeks red once more as she looks away from you, and she lays back on the mattress.
"It's not just sexual," she finally says with an air of decision. "I... like you," she finishes, as you take a deep breath.
I shouldn't have done this.
"But we can't- "
"I KNOW we can't," she snaps, her words piercing you like a dagger.
"But... I can't help it," she adds, in a fragile tone.
You instinctively reach towards her to comfort her, but you retract your hand before it reaches her.
I can't encourage her feelings anymore. We need to head separate ways.
"Maybe we should wait," you respond, voicing your thoughts. "I think your feelings will dissipate with time if we head our separate ways and don't talk about this for a while."
I sure hope they do.
"And what if they don't? We live in the same house, you know."
"...then we'll talk about it then," you say, wishing you had a better answer.
"So... you want to just... not do anything?"
"...I know it might not be what you want... but crushes always fade with time, right?"
"Yeah, true," she says, nodding.
"It's just a crush... and crushes always fade with time..." She mumbles.
That didn't sound too convincing...
She finally decides, "Ok...I think I can do that."
You nod and slowly begin to stand up, your muscles complaining from the workout Lily put you through.
"But first," she says, pulling on your arm, "before we go..."
"Wha- "
You feel her lips crash against yours as she pulls you in. You fall back to the mattress, arms around her waist, and her hands snake around your neck. You close your eyes and melt into her embrace once more.
You know it's wrong, but it feels so right.
You feel a newfound sense of desperation in the kiss, a longing for something that could never be, as her hands dig into your flesh.
She pulls you in closer as if begging for you to stay, but you know you can't.
Just as quickly as she pulled you in, she pushes you away, leaving your hands and lips grasping at the cool air.
She quickly scampers off to find her clothes and slip them on. She wordlessly hands your clothes back to you and you reluctantly do the same.
"We have to bring this mattress all the way down, don't we..." She eventually says, breaking the silence.
"...You know what, I still have hours to burn. I'll bring it down later. For now, I'll just relax up here. You can go back to bed, Lily."
You hear her mutter unintelligibly as you sit down on the mattress.
Your thoughts quickly fly up to the stars and you lose yourself in the entrancing lights of the sky, forgetting about the reality around you.
Until you feel a familiar hand on your shoulder.
"Can I stay with you?"
"Lily, we agreed that we're going to head separate- "
"I know. Just... until the sunrise. Once the sun comes up, I promise I'll go, and we won't speak about this ever again." She clasps her hand together and bows, practically begging to stay.
Dammit... I'm not gonna be able to say no...
You move over, and she quietly places herself next to you, legs sprawled out in front of her. You both sit there for minutes, thoughts swirling with forbidden emotion and recollections of the past hour.
She sighs deeply, then leans her head on your shoulder, wrapping her arms around your elbow.
You try not to, but eventually, the exhaustion gets to you, and you lay your head down on hers, feeling her warmth emanating through you. Your shoulders relax as you lean into her soft, comforting figure.
Before you know it, her arm is around you, and her hand is stroking your hair, making you feel at ease. She starts to gently massage your scalp, sending waves of warm pleasure through you.
She better not keep this up... Or I might just start reciprocating her feelings...
You sit in silence and close your eyes, taking in the welcoming touch of the woman next to you.
After a minute of silence, she speaks up. "Thanks for doing this with me..."
After receiving no response, she looks down curiously, and smiles, seeing that you've already fallen asleep in her arms. She softly lays down on the mattress, holding your warm body in hers, and shuts her eyes.