I need to think on it.
"…my lady? Is it alright?"
Carlene was hovering by her shoulder, having long poured the milk into the jasmine tea. The maidservant's brows were lightly furrowed, worry clear in those brown eyes, for the tea was going a little cold and Athusa only seemed frozen in place, deep in thought. Drawing the shawl about her shoulders closer to her body, as the chill in the castle was a bit more pervasive at nightfall, especially with how they were burning less wood now by her order, Athusa lightly shook her head.
"The tea's fine. Sorry, I was just ..." A little lost in thought did not even begin to cover it.
The maid smiled.
"My lady. Allow me to go get you something sweet."
She could not help but smile a little too at that.
"It's alright. I do not want any."
Of all the years they had grown up together, Carlene was an inseparable companion akin to a sister really. When the other had begun taking up martial arts, Athusa was dismayed and worried, insisting such a task was better left for the family knights. But Carlene had said what if there were to come a time the duchy knights could not protect Athusa in time. She had relented but every bruise on the other girl was a bruise to her own heart as well and Athusa had come to quickly recognize the barest perceptible sign of pain, how it could be veiled and hidden so, and when to adjust to that in the only ways she could.
She knows Carlene is aware of this too that the seemingly simple requests or excuses Athusa made on certain days were for no other's benefit but her best friend's. Carlene had initially expressed dismay having arrived at Athusa's chambers earlier than expected only to find her lady still already long dressed but had come to understand the ways the princess showed her love and care.
"It's alright, Carla. Please…just stay." She sighed.
The day had been truly exhausting: when Athusa had returned to the castle, there were also a handful of the resigning servants Carlene and Tybalt had caught attempting to abscond with some of the castle treasures and subsequently detained for her judgment. She had allowed the first three to leave for her property had already been reclaimed by the elderly butler but the fourth… The fourth had gotten into her jewelry box and attempted to leave with her late mother's brooch. In a cold rage, she had ordered the maid flogged, and felt no better afterwards.
Had not her father been so good to them? Had not she also treated them well enough? Yet, this was how they repay her at the earliest opportunity: using their knowledge of the castle for their personal benefit the moment her father was no longer a factor. It was a sobering realization.
Afterwards she had sought comfort from her father's ducal signet ring, nervously twisting it about her thumb, wondering to herself how often he had to make such difficult decisions too. It was a grounding reminder he was truly gone: there was only his legacy and what she must do next regarding it. The ring did not even entirely belong to her yet: Eucemon had informed her that he had heard in passing extended branches of the Randall family intend to challenge her for control of the duchy. They refused to recognize a woman as the next duke. She was not altogether surprised, they had always been displeased when her father had insisted she was his sole, indisputable heir. How ridiculous, family she knows not at all were little better than thieves.
Many of the duchy knights had even already gone over to her uncle, for he had offered better pay.
She had told the prince she'll like to think on it, his offer to not only uphold their original betrothal engagement but also to be his contracted Link.
"I only meet the physiological requisites to be a Link, you should know, Your Highness."
The truth was the first time her father had sent her to the magic institute, she was returned home with the report that her mindset was unfortunately not well suited to her gift.
The moment she had touched the consciousness of a Star Seed: feeling their confusion, innocent naivety, and pain she felt nothing but disgust. Her father was right. The kingdom was walking down such a wrong path.
She had declined afterwards to command the Star Seed who was used for the students to practice on. The instructing magus looked offended when Athusa had asked how would she or any other feel if another commanded their magic as one would a blade.
The Grand Duke had only laughed when complaints of his daughter reached his ears. He was curious what the instructor had to say to that. The excuse was of course nothing even remotely meaningful, she informed her father. He had laughed more at that and instead hired an instructor from the Holy Kingdom to come tutor her.
"It's a matter of free will." She had said to Eucemon. "You do not need to feel indebted to my father simply because he had supported you." The Grand Duke had after all only done what he believed was right. It was his job to think for the wellbeing of the entire domain and naturally that included the entirety of the royal family. It was probably even a little more complicated than that, given her father and the king's friendship since boyhood.
"You are really similar to him, did you know?"
She had smiled simply at that and her gaze hardened.
"I do not think so, Your Highness."
Contract or no contract with the second prince, she intended to catch her father's killers. The Grand Duke had always been soft in a way that leaned towards believing the best of others. Even when one was as clearly despicable and irredeemable as the First Prince Entymion.
Softness in the end had cost her father his life. People were too easily swayed or perhaps even bought and true friends like Carlene and Tybalt were far too rare.
"The journey here was long." Said Eucemon. "If Lady Randall permits it, I would like to stay a few days, before returning south."
"If it pleases Your Highness." She said simply. "But I'm afraid the north has paltry few comforts."