Coming out of the shower I get myself dressed and head out into the bedroom.
I can see April is already dressed and waiting for the door to unlock. She glances over to me when I step through into the room, she scowls then turns back to the door, I grab my timetable and put it in my pocket then I wait on my bed for the door to unlock, the vibes in here are frosty as fuck. April clearly dislikes me after I admitted what's wrong with me, not many people understand I'm a little different.
When the door buzzes and unlocks April yanks the door open then says over her shoulder glaring at me 'A word of warning Hope max is bad news' she looks down the hallway then back at me
'Stay away from me from now on your freak' she sneers then she practically runs away, the door closing behind her.
I'm now not in the mood to eat, I just want to be by myself, I fall back on the bed and cover myself with the duvet. I make myself as small as I possibly can, curling my body into a ball and then I cry.
What April said is true, but it still fucking hurts. I am different! This is the reason why I don't make friends, people never look at me to see what's underneath, they just see the bad. I fucking hate it!
I hear the next bell go, it's for school but I don't bother to move, what's the point when I feel like shit!
Even when I hear the door buzz and lock. I don't move. I'm angry at the world! Angry at April and angry with myself. Why the fuck do I have to be different? Why does everyone I meet hate me when they find out I'm not normal? It fucking sucks!
As soon as I hear footsteps and muffled talking I scamper out of the bed as quick as I can. I grab hold of the chest of draws and move it in front of the door. I don't want anyone coming in here! I want to be alone.
I grab my iPod once the drawers are firmly wedged under the handle so it can't open. I lay myself back down in my bed, I choose some music and stick my earphones in then curl back into a ball, tears are still streaming down my face. I need to be alone!
...
I have no idea how long it's been but I need to pee. I pull out my earphones and leave them with my iPod on the bed and scamper to the bathroom. There's banging on the door, Mr Tiz is shouting on the other side but I can't be fucked to listen.
When I've finished in the bathroom I step out to hell. I'm tackled to the floor, landing in a heap, I'd normally fight back, instead I just slump down and don't even bother fighting back. I'm tired. I'm numb.
I can see from where I've landed the door has been unscrewed from the outside, I never noticed the whole door is in some sort of metal bracket until now.
Mr Tiz steps through the doorway followed by John, His eyes scanning the room. Assessing.
John notices my tear stained face, I try to hide myself but it's futile, his seen how emotional I am. He makes his way over to me then crouches down beside me, I watch as his eyes roam my face before he asks tentatively
'What happened Hope? Why have you been crying?' His worried, his brows are furrowed. I don't answer though, I close my eyes and pray no more tears will fall. I'm not weak! I hate people seeing me cry! It's ugly!
John clambers up and walks over to Mr Tiz
'Is she alright? Why did she barricade herself in? She was fine this morning! What the hell happened?' Mr Tiz asks completely baffled. John looks at me puzzled then looks back to Mr Tiz
'She won't speak, something definitely happened though, she's been crying' John replies.
'Is she still stable? She's not had her meds yet?' Mr Tiz asks worriedly. I see John nod then say
'She should be' he glances back to me over his shoulder. Assessing.
Then Mr Tiz asks John skeptically
'Can you deal with this? Or do I need her removed?, she can't stay like this all day' John nods then walks back to me, crouching down
'Hope I'm going to get everyone to let go, alright, don't do anything silly now' he presses. I blank him, not bothered in answering, I don't have the energy, even though I don't answer John still gestures with his hand for me to be released.
Once the hands let go I just lay there defeated. The officers put back the draws and stand around watching what's going on.
'You can go, I'll handle this' John orders. I see the officers walk out then Mr Tiz follows in tow.
When everyone's left and the door closes John sits down next to me. He pulls me into his arms and I snuggle into him and ball my eyes out. I'm so emotional right now! I hate how much April's words have affected me.
John rubs soothing circles along my back whispering 'everything's going to be okay' to me.
It takes me a little while until I've settled down and gotten control of my emotions. When I have John asks me what happened so I explain everything to John. He listens intently but by the end he is furious. I can tell. He tries to hide his feelings but they radiate off of his body.
Once I've finished explaining and I'm more of myself, John walks me to Mr Tiz's office. Mr Tiz hands me my medication then watches me to it, then he asks John to take me to class.