Captain Don Quixote said, "Cadet. What is this? What did you do? Did you touch the engine lever? You are forbidden to touch it. HOW DARE YOU."
I calmly said without any interest in the problem, "No, Captain. The lever is in the same position as you left it."
Captain Don Quixote studied the lever and called Chief Engineer Bud on the bridge using the ship's phone. Chief Engineer Bud entered the bridge in his underwear.
Captain Don Quixote pointed at the ship's speed and said, "We have no speed. We are barely moving. Did you do something in the engine room? How could you do it without consulting with me?"
Chief Engineer Bud looked at the engine parameters and said, "Nah, we didn't do anything. The parameters are almost the same as yesterday."
Captain Don Quixote asked, "What do you mean almost?"
Chief Engineer Bud scratched his head and started to accelerate the ship's speed using the engine control lever. He said, "We have increased engine load and some values, like there is a resistance of some sort. Maybe there is a net around the propeller."
Captain Don Quixote asked me, "Cadet, did you pass through some fishing area?"
I replied, "No, captain. This is a strait[1]. There are no fishermen here because too many ships are passing through."
Captain Don Quixote said, "There are always fishermen and nets around. Just get out of my sight and call me Chief Mate and Second Mate."
I ventured down to their quarters and woke them up. They were not pleased to be disturbed from their sleep. I returned to the bridge, with the Chief Mate arriving shortly after me.
Captain Don Quixote asked, "Chief Mate, did you pick up some nets during your watch?"
Chief Mate mumbled with his eyes half-asleep, "What?"
Captain Don Quixote said, "We have some resistance on the propeller and we can't get to full speed. We are barely at half speed now."
Chief Mate tilted his head, looked over his nose, and said, "No fishermen, no nets, and no fish."
Chief Mate walked out and slammed the door behind him. In the distance, you could hear Chief Mate yelling something to 2nd Mate. They debated something, and 2nd Mate arrived on the bridge.
Captain Don Quixote asked, "Second Mate, did you encounter some fishermen on your watch?"
2nd Mate said, "No. Nothing. But the current probably changed. It is strong in this channel."
Captain Don Quixote said, "Again, you with your currents. Just get out."
2nd Mate shook his head and left the bridge.
Captain Don Quixote looked at the speed and said, "Chief Engineer, we need more speed."
Chief Engineer Bud said, "We can't go more. This is our maximum."
Captain Don Quixote pointed at the engine parameters and said, "But here our engine load is at 65%. We can go more."
Chief Engineer Bud said, "No, Captain. The ship is old, and this is its maximum. We cannot increase the engine load further."
Captain Don Quixote was nervous, looking at all those ships that were faster than us on the radar. He said, "Cadet, do you see this ship exiting the port? We are on a collision course."
I knew where every ship was during my watch, and I said, "We will pass in front of it by a few miles. It will turn a little to pass at our stern."
Captain Don Quixote nervously said, "How do you know what it is going to do? It will stay on its course. By the rules of navigation, we must turn and pass it on the stern."
I replied, "But if we change course, we'll end up going into the port. We can't do that."
Captain Don Quixote nervously said, "Cadet, adjust the course so we avoid it properly."
I replied, "But we can't. We will be going into the port, and it's not our port of destination."
Captain Don Quixote, still nervous, insisted, "Do it, Cadet. I will not repeat myself."
I stood still and did nothing.
Captain Don Quixote quickly walked to the steering, changed the ship's heading to pass the other ship's stern, and said, "Must I do everything myself?"
I leaned on the radar and observed the situation. Our ship headed straight for the port, and we ventured inland.
The port called us on VHF, "Motor vessel Rover, this is Port Haven, please respond."
Captain Don Quixote stood confused while the port continued to call us for some time.
Port Haven said on VHF, "Motor vessel Rover, if you don't respond, we will have to take action."
Chief Engineer Bud slowly removed himself from the bridge as Captain Don Quixote walked to the VHF. Taking a deep breath, Captain Don Quixote said over the VHF, "This is MV Rover. We had some issues with the VHF."
Port Haven said on VHF, "Channel eight."
Captain Don Quixote changed the channel on VHF and said, "MV Rover on Channel eight."
Port Haven said on VHF, "Why are you approaching our port? You must turn back immediately."
Captain Don Quixote said on VHF, "We were just avoiding MV Champion that was leaving your port."
Port Haven said on VHF, "Please turn away now immediately, and next time do not leave your channel route!"
Captain Don Quixote reluctantly confirmed the order and steered the ship back to its course. He grew increasingly nervous, his eyes fixed on the speed and ETA. Periodically, he increased the engine power by moving the lever a few millimeters at a time. He repeated this process until the lever was at full speed. Soon, the engine alarm flashed red and sizzled at intervals.
The deck telephone rang, and Captain Don Quixote answered, "Yes. No, we didn't touch the engine lever." He then hung up the phone.
Chief Engineer Bud came to the bridge, checked the engine lever, and reduced the speed. He said, "This lever must remain in this position. No one is allowed to touch it. Cadet, you are not authorized to adjust it."
The engine alarm was reset. 2nd Engineer came to the bridge and said, "Chief Engineer, you are needed in the engine room."
Chief Engineer Bud walked out from the bridge, and 2nd Engineer was about to follow.
Captain Don Quixote said, "2nd Engineer, wait a second."
2nd Engineer stopped, closed the door, and said, "Yes, Captain."
Captain Don Quixote asked, "Tell me, why can't we push the engine for more power? We are only at 65%."
2nd Engineer replied, "Well, we can go up to 85-90% max, but this Chief Engineer doesn't want any problems during his time on board. He is on a cruise and taking it easy, like driving a car at 2000 rpm when you can go 4000 or more without a problem."
Captain Don Quixote nodded and said, "Thank you, 2nd Engineer, you are dismissed."
2nd Engineer left the bridge, and Captain Don Quixote played a little bit with the lever until it was at 89%. The speed was still not enough, and this didn't calm the Captain one bit. 2nd Mate came to the bridge and took over the watch.
Later, I went on the bridge to replace Chief Mate for dinner. This was a standard procedure as during dinner it was his watch. On the bridge beside Chief Mate, I saw 2nd Mate and Captain Don Quixote as they argued over a computer.
2nd Mate said, "Captain, you can't write that we will be late due to weather force 10[2]."
Captain Don Quixote typed hard on the keyboard nervously and said, "What do they know!"
2nd Mate said, "We are passing through a channel surrounded by land and other ships. They will all report a sunny day, and we will report a heavy storm."
Captain Don Quixote said, "The company is located far away; what do they know."
2nd Mate got close to Captain Don Quixote's shoulder and said through his teeth, "But, Captain, our company has a lot of other ships in this area."
Captain Don Quixote pushed 2nd Mate away and said, "Just get out, you don't know anything."
Mate, furious, left the bridge office and headed straight for the chartroom. I followed him, and the Chief Mate joined us.
Chief Mate whispered to me, "It took a while for the Chief Engineer to figure out that we were sailing at higher speed, so he shut down the commands on the bridge and reduced the engine load to 65%."
I whispered, "For real? I heard 2nd Engineer say that the ship can go faster."
The Chief Mate whispered, "I've worked with this Chief Engineer a few times. He doesn't know much. If there's a problem that the crew can't fix, they have to call a service team from shore, which is very expensive. That's why he always reduces the engine load but ends up overdoing it."
I whispered, "The Captain is writing an e-mail that we will be late?"
Chief Mate pointed out an island on the map and whispered, "Well, he did try to pass here between the island and the shore to make a shortcut, but a ship can't go there. The Captain was forcing it, but 2nd Mate didn't want to hear about it. Since then, they have been arguing all this time. In the end, the Captain will write that we will be late due to heavy storms."
Captain Don Quixote walked down from the bridge. In the distance, you could hear someone kick a door and shout. I looked at Chief Mate.
Chief Mate said, "The Captain is probably pounding at the door of Chief Engineer because he locked himself in his cabin."
I asked, "Why?"
Chief Mate replied, "Like I said before, after Chief Engineer disabled the engine commands on the bridge and reduced the speed, they had a verbal fight, and Chief Engineer has been locked in his cabin since then."
I laughed and said, "This just reminded me of another Chief Engineer who also locked himself."
I told Chief Mate what happened to my father's ship, and he was not surprised.
Chief Mate said, "Mankind is a virus. I remember an incident where a motorman wanted to beat up a Chief Engineer, and guess what…Chief Engineer dropped his pants and said, 'Blow me.' The motorman was speechless for a while, and then he left."
I said, "And that worked!? Never heard of that before."
Chief Mate said, "True story."
Hearing the silence below, I seized the opportunity to escape the bridge.