The princess of the Fire Nation arrived at the port and boarded her personal ship. The captain loudly announced the princess's return. The imperial entourage bowed as a whole, pressing their foreheads to the deck as soon as her foot stepped onto the ship. Looking at her subordinates, she habitually expected a caustic comment from the spirit. For a moment, she even imagined what he would say if he were here right now.
"You're putting others down again in an attempt to boost your self-esteem. Why are you so insecure, Azula? Such bows instill a false sense of self-importance, and in such a position, it will be difficult to spot assassins sent to kill you…" — but this was just her imagination.
Of course, the spirit wouldn't have said it exactly like that, limiting himself to sarcastic and somewhat arrogant comments about what was happening. But he was no longer with her. He had disappeared, and this was just an illusion of her mind, which had become too accustomed to the intense game of trust with the parasite, and now didn't know what to do with itself out of boredom. The game was over, she had won, the spirit was gone. Now she could relax in the silence and savor the fruits of her victory. She could have gotten more from the spirit.
Looking once more at her bowing subordinates, she adjusted her hair. The princess's hair was far from perfect; she had never personally cared for her own beauty. Even during her apprenticeship with the master, she had arranged for the spirit to handle such things, and he was only too happy to be the one in charge of her body. Although he didn't do the job particularly well, Azula was fine with it.
Noting to herself the need to visit her maids so they could take care of her appearance, she walked towards the captain.
— Captain, — the princess addressed the man who had instantly lowered his head.
— Yes, my lady?
— Set a course for the capital, — a familiar, authoritative order escaped her lips.
— Yes, my lady.
— I'll be in my quarters. Don't bother me with trifles, — the princess added, leaving the deck.
— As you command, Princess. — After these words, the captain went to give his orders.
The usual greeting of subordinates to their mistress, according to all the rules of etiquette, was over; the ship's crew, along with the princess's other servants, went to perform their duties. However, Azula couldn't shake the unpleasant feeling that something was missing. Some small, unknown detail. Deciding to get rid of these thoughts in a spacious hot bath, which she had missed so much all this time, the princess ordered her maids to wait until she had finished her ablutions.
Alas, the unpleasant feeling only intensified during the water procedures.
Sinking into the bath, Azula felt this strange and unpleasant feeling even more strongly. The silence seemed oppressive. She had never felt this before. Never? She doubted that. She had probably just gotten out of the habit of being alone. That's how the princess comforted herself with a lie. The spirit, even with his absence, managed to get on her nerves.
It will pass, she just needs to get used to the silence and everything will be as before…
With such thoughts, the girl convinced herself, refusing to notice her own feelings of longing and discomfort. Her usual surroundings were no longer so comfortable. Everything seemed to be as it was before: servants, bowing, flattery, the fear of her subordinates, the fulfillment of her slightest whim… But it no longer evoked the same emotions as before.
After finishing her bath, the girl went to her maids. Not at all relaxed after the bath, she entrusted her body to their hands, trying not to show her tension. Azula saw how the maids were a little shocked by her appearance. Confusion was written all over their faces. The spirit had taken care of her in his own peculiar way: clumsily trimmed nails, poorly combed hair, no makeup. After examining the princess, they began to groom her in complete silence. No one asked about her mood, her affairs, her well-being… no one even addressed her by name. It was familiar and at the same time a little unpleasant.
The silence was annoying…
Azula clearly heard the work of each maid. Nail files scraped, tweezers clicked, a comb ran through her hair… and other small makeup things. Thanks to her hearing training, the princess could even distinguish the breathing of one maid from the others. But despite all this, for some reason it was still too quiet.
She wanted to talk about something with the servants, but she stopped herself in time. It's not befitting for a princess to ask her own maids how they are! This is all a consequence of her communication with the spirit. Yes. That's right. He often liked to talk for no reason at all. Even while getting her body ready, he never fell silent, continuing to talk.
To talk…
A comparison of how the maids made her look her best, and how the spirit had done it before. This was unavoidable. And the girls, meanwhile, were in no hurry to finish, continuing to work in almost complete silence. Azula became more and more annoyed. Every reminder of the parasitic spirit irritated her, and literally everything reminded her of him. The parasite had sunk its teeth so deeply into her mind that his absence caused unpleasant feelings. She just wasn't used to any of this! Of course, everything will return to normal over time. But waiting for that moment to happen was unpleasant.
— Can you work faster? — Azula rushed the maids, tired of enduring this vile silence.
— Please don't be angry, my lady, we will work faster, — the girls were scared and sped up a little.
From such a predictable answer, she lost all interest in further conversation with the maids.
Soon they finished grooming their mistress. Looking at herself in the mirror, Azula saw the familiar princess of the Fire Nation. Everything was perfect. Her hair, skin, nails, makeup, eyelashes, and yet, she felt that something was still missing. It was still a long time until night, but she couldn't go out and vent her irritation and stress during her firebending and lightning training. Because the crew was actively working, taking the ship out of the port into the sea.
Going to her cabin, on the top floor of the pagoda-like superstructure, she decided to calm down with meditation. The first thing she saw was a reminder of the spirit—the black sword and the pair of sai daggers hidden in their ornate scabbards. She had carelessly thrown them on the bed when she went to take a bath. However, as a wall decoration, the sword looked quite decent, but for battle, she had her own body and firebending. And the chance of finding herself in a situation where she would need this weapon was extremely small.
The cabin was in perfect condition. It was clear at first glance that it was dusted daily and kept in order. But this very perfect order no longer evoked the feelings she had felt before. Placing candles in front of her, she began to meditate in the center of the room, right on the bare floor. The breathing technique was calming, she felt better, her mind was no longer tormented by boredom.
Feeling something like peace, the girl resumed her training to control her inner energy and her attempts to open her chakras. The latter she couldn't do at all, as always. Only the small successes in controlling her Chi were a comfort. She was busy with this until the evening. Before going to bed, Azula decided to walk around the ship and see how the servants were working. Every single one of them stood at attention at her presence alone, feeling fear.
But the fear of others was no longer so pleasant. On the contrary, their conversations and the quick silence that fell when she approached were irritating. The servants talking to each other, the guards talking, or the discussion of the weather between Lo and Li. All of it was annoying. After a quick tour of the ship, making almost everyone on board nervous, she returned to her cabin in not the best mood. Night was falling, the time for sleep and rest. And even though the princess didn't want to sleep at all, she was familiar with the concept of needing to follow a routine.
Taking off all her armor pieces and changing into a robe for sleeping, she blew out the candles, intending to go to bed, but she unexpectedly remembered the moment it all started. Summoning a small flame on one finger, the girl thoughtfully looked at the flame, then went to the mirror, peering into her own reflection, which was barely visible in it, so little light did the flame on her finger give off. It all started with a similar situation—night, a mirror, and her, trying to see herself in it. A feeling of déjà vu immediately washed over the girl.
Only she was reflected in the mirror, she and the darkness and the silence. The perfect princess with no unnecessary emotions, calm, cold, imperturbable and… lonely?
Her bored mind was giving her very strange thoughts.
Involuntarily, looking at her reflection, the girl began to think about the few people she considered close and with whom she could talk about what was happening to her now. Or at least talk about anything! Azula really wanted to talk, but her position and reputation did not allow her to just go and talk to her servants and subordinates. And they were afraid of her presence alone. As the spirit would have put it, a heart-to-heart conversation would not work with such individuals. And there were very few people with whom she could have a simple conversation, and they were far away from her ship.
Azula's relationship with her mother had not worked out, she didn't even want to remember her. She never talked to her father about such things and never would. He just wouldn't understand, and she herself didn't understand what was happening to her. Zuzu? A failure and an idiot who should be happy that he was still alive. Uncle Iroh? The girl had pretended he didn't exist for a long time, he returned the favor, and everyone was happy. Only two were left. Ty Lee and Mai—friends from a distant childhood.
She met them while studying at the girls' academy. Of course, their parents helped it happen, as did the parents of all the children in her class. Azula simply chose the two smartest peers and began to spend time with them. They hadn't seen each other in a long time, and it had been even longer since they had gotten together.
Remembering her friends, the princess involuntarily caught herself thinking that she would like to see them. Ty Lee's boundless positivity, light naivety, and phenomenal flexibility, Mai's silent support and ever-calm demeanor. Azula needed them now more than ever. But Ty Lee had left with the circus; it was always simple and easy to talk about anything with her. Mai, on the other hand, stayed at home with her family.
Sighing, the girl exhaled a small stream of blue flame. For some reason, after being left alone, her mind was visited by more and more strange thoughts. Deciding to leave everything for tomorrow, she headed to the bed, extinguishing the flame, giving her own room over to the power of the utter darkness. Pulling the blanket over her head, she seemed to be trying to hide.
— Goodnight… — her quiet voice was heard by no one in the darkness of the large room.
The princess tossed and turned for a long time and couldn't fall asleep. Her own thoughts continued to torment her in the darkness and silence, no matter how much she tried to distract herself. It was impossible to escape; no one had ever been able to escape from themselves. In the morning, after her bath, she went to the maids and scared them with her sleepy and very angry look. Azula involuntarily snapped at the innocent girls, making one of them beg for forgiveness. No one was thrown overboard, but the maids became more nervous after that incident.
Firebending training did not help relieve the stress. Although her mentors said she had reached the ideal, the princess continued to train, wanting to distract herself from the feelings tormenting her heart. The next day she dedicated entirely to herself, to firebending and lightning training. Having completely exhausted herself, this time she fell asleep without any problems. The next day, everything was repeated. Azula trained like a madwoman, stopping only to eat. Firebending, lightningbending, physical exercises for her body, and even sword training…
The girl tried with all her might not to think about the loneliness surrounding her. The trip to the capital took almost five days. They passed very quickly. On the fourth day of the trip, Azula woke up to the deafening sounds of thunder.
Her ship had run into a storm…
(***)
After a long torment of my mind, I became aware of myself in utter darkness.
I perceived the world as a spirit again, not a person. Without eyes, I saw. Without ears, I heard. Although all my senses were habitually muted, this was different from the level it had been before, when I was only looking for a suitable body for myself and hadn't yet been locked in Azula. And of course, it couldn't be compared to the feelings of a real body. Nevertheless, it was a success!
After a long agony, when my whole being seemed to be boiling in a pot, even these meager sensations were pure bliss. It was nice to be alive, even if not material, it was nice to think, and although I only saw darkness, I knew where I was, I knew where she was, and I knew where all the things in her room were located. It wasn't a mythical sixth sense, but just a memory. However, I couldn't enjoy my bodiless existence for long. The euphoria of emotions quickly disappeared, giving way to a calculating mind.
Azula finally did it. Feeling the opportunity, she struck at me, not really understanding what she was doing. I myself didn't fully realize what such torment would lead to. But I was happy with the result, even if I had to endure a little hellish pain for it. It wasn't for nothing that I put myself out there. All the girl's memories, up to the last day of my consciousness, all her skills, all her knowledge, everything she knew, guessed, thought, and experienced, all of it was forcibly poured into me by Azula herself, complementing my essence with her essence. And despite the pain, I don't regret it.
As it turned out, being a human, I had not performed the ritual quite correctly, becoming not a full-fledged spirit, but a spiritual invalid. This deprived me of almost all my senses, some of my memories, and probably damaged my soul. At the same time, it was thanks to my disability that I could, without any consequences, feed off the girl while inside her body, taking on her strength, skills, and in some places even her very essence…
She didn't even notice anything. I myself didn't immediately notice what was happening to me. The month with Piandao didn't just help her, it helped me much more. During this time, especially during the period of pain, watching the girl's memories, I managed to understand and think about a lot.
Remembering the problematic princess, I turned around. She was there, sleeping curled up on the bed. I wanted to take revenge for her actions, but revenge could wait. After all, I saw how she suffered in solitude, having lost me. Azula won't go anywhere. With these thoughts, I moved closer to the sleeping body. The darkness didn't bother me at all; I could see her Chi, which seemed to glow with a blue light from within. Reaching out to it, I saw my hands.
Looking at them, I found a great similarity to her energy. After examining myself and comparing what I saw in the girl, I came to some interesting conclusions. Yes, in part, I had become Azula. Now, from a spiritual point of view, we are practically twins. Her inner Chi energy changed me, not only giving me the girl's memory but also significantly affecting my spiritual body.
But that wasn't exactly right. Only a small part of me became her. Still, I lived much longer, the volume of my knowledge is undoubtedly wider, and my character and worldview have long been established, unlike the girl with deep mental problems. I simply absorbed everything the princess had, becoming more whole, but at the same time different. Completely different. After thinking about this and examining myself properly, I realized that I was still me. All of Azula's memories had little effect on me. Just very detailed knowledge of someone else's life, nothing more.
Now I practically no longer felt the world's attempts to push me out of it. This was an undeniable plus, but I wanted to check something else. In fact, I wanted to check a lot of things, but I had to start with the most immediate. Remembering how I used to do it, I directed my hand into the girl's bed. The blue ghostly hand passed through physical matter, and all I felt was a slight tingling.
Great, now let's see what I can do with the girl.
With these thoughts, I simply entered the princess's body without any obstacles. The sensations were familiar and known, but a sense of freedom was added to them. After putting Azula to sleep more soundly, I took control of her body. Everything was so simple that all I could do was be amazed at the changes, or was it a matter of experience, not changes? It didn't matter. Now her body didn't perceive me as something foreign. I could easily control all the processes in her body, including her Chi, no longer being a prisoner. This was wonderful news.
Snapping my fingers, I made all the lamps in the room flare up with blue flame. The room was immediately colored. Getting out of bed, I went to the mirror, peering at the princess's familiar face. Still beautiful. I paid no attention to the muscle pain. It was a consequence of the girl's too-frequent training.
Interesting. If my control over the body has improved, then why not…
With these thoughts, I brought my palms together, and then slowly moved them apart. Small lightning bolts sparked between my hands. It was easier than I thought, much easier. Bending fire and lightning became significantly simpler. Thinking about my actions, I realized that I had even started breathing perfectly correctly, as if out of habit. I was probably also moving like the original Azula. Great, just great, but there's still so much more to check.
After I finished playing with bending, I returned Azula's body back to the bed. Without extinguishing the lamps, I left her body. In my spiritual form, I approached the mirror. The desire to get even with this self-satisfied bitch immediately grew tenfold! I had guessed it, but I had hoped until the very end that I was wrong! But calm down, if it happened once, I can surely change everything again. But how much that all-too-familiar face irritates me!
In the mirror reflection, I saw Azula's spiritual body…