FATHER CREEGAN
Eddie, I will not have you being disruptive to this class. We are a unit, soldiers of light, and if you are one of us, you will act like it!
FATHER CREEGAN
And Maxim, you are the division commander, but you are NOT the teacher! You will let me be the teacher and handle Eddie!
MAXIM
Why am I getting in trouble? This is all his fault!
FATHER CREEGAN
Ok, Maxim! But—
MAXIM
He's selfish! We're supposed to be training to be demon hunters! Basically, we're fighting a war we've already lost! The whole country has run amuck with demons, and this idiot is on some Colin Kaepernick shit!
He turns to glare at Eddie.
MAXIM
We can't even understand what he's saying half the time!
FATHER CREEGAN
Well, that's because he's speaking Japanese.
EDDIE
Hakujin no akuma wa don'na gengodeatte mo shinjitsu o rikai shimasen.
(Subtitles: you people don't understand truth no matter what language.)
MAXIM
Shut up! You see what I mean? He does it on purpose to piss us off!
He leans over Eddie's desk to growl right in his face.
MAXIM
You're a witch anyway. What are you even doing here if you hate it so much?
The class "oohs" at that.
Eddie continues doodling in his notebook, refusing to be intimidated.
EDDIE
I used to be a witch. But you're still a white devil, and you're here, so why can't I be?
Maxim leans even further, placing his hand on Eddie's desk so he can speak right into his ear.
MAXIM
You are crazy, you know that? I heard you were in a mental hospital over the summer. Did you break out? Can we send you back?
FATHER CREEGAN
MAXIM!
Eddie finally breaks his cool, his eyes cut into Maxim's as he slowly rises out of his chair.
When he finally makes it to his feet, he angrily pulls out a neon green water pistol and points it at Maxim.
EDDIE
The only thing breaking out is your face, you ole' pickle chin, DEVIL!
He pulls the trigger on the gun, and water squirts out, hitting Maxim in the face.
Eddie turns to address Father Creegan.
EDDIE
Anata wa tawagoto de ippaidesu!
(Subtitles: Ya'll full of shit!)
EDDIE
This holy water mess don't work! This cave beast is just standing there lookin' stupid!
The Bell Rings.
Maxim tries to rush for Eddie, but Brent and Bobby jump up to hold him back.
Father Creegan grabs a Bible from off his desk and pushes it into Eddie's chest.
FATHER CREEGAN
Genesis–you will learn it! You will learn about the struggles against darkness we are facing as a country TOGETHER! You will report to the confessional after school and write the entire first 5 chapters of this book, and you will not be allowed to leave until you've completed this work!
EDDIE
5 chapters? What? That'll take all night!
FATHER CREEGAN
It'll take at least 7 hours, and that's if you're a fast writer. And once you have a FULL understanding of what we are trying to do here, you WILL come back and honor the American flag! Do I make myself clear?
Eddie rolls his eyes, grumbles, and leaves the classroom. The other children start to file out.
FATHER CREEGAN
And once again, we wasted the entire lecture arguing! This is not how the soldiers of light prepare for battle!
Maxim finally stops glaring at Father Creegan as he wipes his face with a napkin.
He storms out, leaving with the last few students as they file out.
And as the last student leaves, the camera zooms in on a small white poster by the door that features "The Prayer of Saint Eads." That quote reads, "May our hearts remain united, even after the truth divides them."