"Don't bury him yet. I read in a book that you should add water to the soil to make it muddy, so the burial is more secure."
"Don't just stand there, disarm his wand first."
"How are we going to bury him later?"
"What do you mean?"
"Head first or feet first?"
"You don't know that? Of course, it's head first."
When Lockhart heard these cold words, he widened his eyes in confusion.
"I don't think this is necessary, is it?"
"Jordan, where's your sock? Stuff it in his mouth."
"Wrap him up."
.....
On the day of the school opening, Hogwarts.
"Honestly, the fact that he could dig himself out of the mud… he really… tried hard," Kaisen said to Dumbledore, standing by the office's French window.
"I'm very grateful that you understand me."
"I'm like Severus now, I've given up. A hypocritical clown is still better than Quirrell from last semester. Looking at it this way, Dumbledore, you've made great progress this year," Kaisen said jokingly.
"Yes, and it's only for a year. You probably won't see him next year," Dumbledore nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.
"Is it because of that curse? The curse targeting the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor?"
"Hmm, as long as the person who cast this curse isn't dead, the curse won't disappear… Of course, this problem isn't entirely serious. The most serious part is that besides Lockhart, no one else applied… Actually, I originally wanted Lupin to take the position, but he still needs to go back and sort out his broken life."
"What I'm more curious about is, this guy still dared to apply?"
"He had already signed a magic contract before you buried him in the ground. It's too late to go back on it now."
Kaisen nodded and subtly moved closer to Dumbledore.
"By the way, Dumbledore, do you remember what you promised me before the holidays?"
"... Let me think… My washed wool socks are drying on the windowsill, don't let outsiders see them, it's a bit embarrassing," Dumbledore mumbled, about to leave the alchemy office, then Kaisen caught up to him in a few steps.
"Lockhart isn't going to your office for an interview, so what's the big deal?"
"…Didn't I give you the Philosopher's Stone?"
"Well, that's one thing, the Philosopher's Stone is one thing, and a poor Professor's salary is another. The two cannot be conflated," Kaisen said earnestly.
"Alright, come with me to the office, and we'll sign a new contract."
In the evening, Kaisen comfortably sat in his chair. Thanks to his persistent arguments, he successfully secured a very substantial salary.
Meanwhile, in a corner on the other side of the Professor's table, Lockhart was blandly eating the delicacies on his plate.
If he had been overjoyed and ecstatic when he initially accepted Dumbledore's offer to become the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor,
Not only could he gain favor with the Little Wizards, but he could also boost his book sales and rake in a lot of money.
But ever since he was dragged out of Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley by a bunch of Little Wizards and buried headfirst in the ground, with only a tube left for him to breathe through, he regretted it.
He could already foresee how bleak and hopeless his Professor career would be for the next year.
And that Kaisen, who signaled the Little Wizards to drag him away, with a wave of his hand, a swarm of Little Wizards rushed over. He didn't look like a proper Professor at all.
He looked more like a dark force. How could Hogwarts be good with a Professor like him?
Purely militarized management.
Kaisen heard a strange sound of a knife scraping against a plate and looked towards the source. Then he began to secretly plot how to have a hearty and passionate Wizard duel with Lockhart.
Anyway, a substitute Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts Class wasn't hard to find; Snape would be happy to take that job.
Then he saw two small figures constantly trying to get his attention in the corner of his eye.
He pretended to look around, made sure no other Professors noticed him, then slowly left his seat and followed the two small figures out of the Great Hall.
"What's wrong?"
"Harry and Ron are missing," Hermione said anxiously.
"I think we should tell Dumbledore. A missing Little Wizards is no small matter," Kaisen said instinctively.
"But Professor, will they be expelled?" Neville asked.
"…Now isn't about whether they'll be expelled. Now you must go find Dumbledore, because a damned unidentified flying object is flying towards Hogwarts… Have the Muggles attacked?"
Kaisen tilted his head, looking at the unidentified flying object through his monocle.
[Mechanical] [magic]
"Oh… the Muggles haven't attacked. It's an Alchemy creation from the magic world. It might be some mischievous Little Wizards… Mischievous Little Wizards!" He suddenly realized something halfway through his sentence and looked at the two figures in the driver's seat with a bewildered expression.
"Hermione, I regret to inform you that Gryffindor will be starting from negative points this year." Kaisen finished speaking and apparated away, appearing beside a dilapidated wooden house.
He pointed his wand at the Alchemy car, which was swooping down from the sky like a ghost-wind suicide squad. Almost instantly, he created an entire spider web from mid-air to the ground.
The car crashed into the dense spider web, its kinetic energy absorbed, and the car slowly descended in accordance with Newton's sincere wish.
In short, it was very considerate.
Kaisen waved his wand, and the dense spider webs vanished. Then he finally saw the two figures inside the car, just as he had expected.
Harry climbed out of the car, looked up at Kaisen, and smiled, saying, "Cool glasses, Professor. I wanted to say that last time at Flourish and Blotts, but there were too many people."
Kaisen nodded: "Yes, I know this very thoroughly, no need for you to tell me. Now, please explain to me properly, why are you and Ron driving a magic car?"
"If your fabricated lies are logical and your solution is reasonable enough to amuse me…"
"You won't deduct points?"
"I can consider deducting a hundred points less, but why do you have two people?"
"9 3/4 Platform was closed, so Harry and I had no choice but to…"
"How about, Professor… you just deduct them?"
Hermione: ????
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