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...
[Error... Error...]
[Error... Error...]
[Error... Error...]
The same word kept popping up again and again, almost twenty times in a row, like the system was just spamming him on purpose.
"Stop! I get it already!" Liu Yang groaned, his eyes twitching.
Finally, the error message stopped.
[Sorry for the inconvenience.]
[System Administrator has one new message.]
[Would you like to read it?]
Liu Yang stared at the glowing text. "Do I even have a choice?"
[No, but it's a courtesy to ask.]
He raised his middle finger at the glowing screen.
"You mother—!" The rest got swallowed by the system beep.
[Error. Abusive language detected.]
[Please note: Insulting the System will not speed up service.]
[But thank you for your feedback. Your complaint has been forwarded to Customer Service. Average response time: 7–12 business days.]
The voice wasn't robotic at all. No, it sounded like some lazy girl working in a call center, blowing bubble gum while spinning on her chair. You could almost see her with messy hair, her legs crossed over each other, rolling round and round as she twisted the cord of the telephone with her fingers, eyes half-dead with boredom.
It didn't even feel like she was talking to him. More like she was reading from a script she had read a thousand times already.
[Loading... Message from Admin...]
The screen flickered, glowing brighter for a second like it wanted to be dramatic. Liu Yang's eyes twitched. He leaned closer, squinting at the words.
"Then why the hell you asked me, if you're just gonna show the message without my consent anyway?!"
He waved his hand like he was shooing a fly, his face red with anger. His lips twisted into a crooked grin, the kind you make when you know you've lost but still want to curse one last time.
The glowing words blinked again, cheerful, almost smug.
[Again, it's a courtesy.]
Liu Yang gritted his teeth. "Courtesy, my ass…"
[Your system is being corrupted by the goddess.]
[I apologize, but it will take 2 business days to fix it.]
[But since you are about to die and we cannot fix it in time...]
[I will let you strike a deal.]
[How about it?]
Liu Yang blinked fast, his mouth opening and closing. "Business days? I'm about to be chopped into demon sashimi and this guy is talking like a call center employee!"
"I guess… I have no choice."
"Tell me your deal."
Liu Yang's voice was weak. He had no power left in his words. He was just tired. His body was heavy, and he could not do anything anyway. So what was the point of fighting with this stupid System?
The glowing text flickered again.
[Good choice.]
[Here is the deal.]
The screen dimmed for a moment, like a stage light going down before an important show. Liu Yang's heart started pounding.
[Your System is corrupted by the Goddess.]
[That is why you cannot access your functions.]
[We cannot fix the bug right away. It will take 2 business days.]
Liu Yang clenched his fists. "Two days?! I won't even last two seconds with soldiers running toward me!"
The System ignored his cry, cheerful as ever.
[Correct. Which is why we are offering another path.]
[If you die, we will intercept your soul before it drifts to heaven or hell. No judgement, no lines, no paperwork.]
[Instead, we will place your soul into a new body. A body free of curses. A body not touched by the Goddess.]
The words floated cheerfully in front of him, like it was offering him a free upgrade package.
Liu Yang laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "So what you mean is… I just die like a dog here, and you pick up my soul like trash, and you put me in another body like trash too? Is that what you mean?"
[If you want to phrase it like that.]
[We prefer the word: Replacement.]
[Simple. Efficient. Clean.]
The voice was not like the lazy call center girl this time.
It was a man's voice. Calm, slow, like he was better than everyone else.
When Liu Yang heard it, he could almost imagine the guy closing his eyes, sitting there with his hand up, his index finger touching his thumb to make a circle, like some yoga master who thought he was wise.
He could see him in his mind, saying those words like he was doing meditation.
Simple.
Efficient.
Clean.
Like each word was a breath. Like he was so proud of himself for saying it.
"Great… first a call center girl, now Buddha. What's next? Am I gonna get advice from a fortune cookie too?"
And Admin voice continued.
[And as compensation, you will receive a new System. Not the broken one. The best one. The Harem Snatcher System.]
Liu Yang froze. His eyes went wide, his jaw dropped. His lips moved slow. "The… the what?!"
System then began to explain the meaning of the Harem Snatcher System.