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Chapter 10 - The Lie of Eternity/ Resquilatron hatches a plot

Eternity lies at the edge of existence. She lies to us all. There is no promised land. No salvation for us. Out here in the deep, dark cold of space, the only truth is annihilation.

The flame of our civilisation sputters in the face of the harsh winds of extinction. Nothing remains of our roaring bonfire but a flickering candle, so fragile a mere breath would extinguish it for good. Our star-conquering empire relegated to mere stories, from stories to myths and from myths to be forgotten in the all-consuming fog of history. Yet within the fog, that dull red flame still burns, no longer fueled by hope but by hatred.

No longer do the hearts of stars bend to our will, yet that legacy still burns hot through our veins.

Once we ruled, now we are forgotten. By the Lies of Eternity I hereby vow, we shall rule again.

***

Captain Resquilatron Ooglespooglesburgh smacked the instrument in his hand a few times, cursing under his breath. His subordinates around him held their breaths, not daring to interrupt him.

Eventually, something clicked and he raised it above his head. Turning in circles a few times, he picked a seemingly random direction and began to walk. Soon enough, they had made it out of the crater and the view of the cliff that wasn't there before greeted them.

He had taken just a few steps forward when he paused abruptly, bringing the instrument down to the ground where two spots were sizzling away next to a green leafy looking vegetable.

The instrument, which looked like a banana strapped to a brick, began flashing and beeping (disregarding the lack of an atmosphere to carry the sound. At this point, it seemed like everyone and their pet fleebus could speak in a vacuum.) with the same sort of zealousness as a rad-meter in Zollon III. That is to say, very rapidly and with an extreme degree of panic.

Contrasting with the apparent danger of the situation, the Captain let out a whoop of joy that slowly degenerated into a curdling cough of phlegm.

He turned back to look at his subordinates with a mad grin on his face.

"This is it boys, we've made it stellar. Forget Kassius V and that damned Harper. We've caught ourselves a bigun."

He pointed at one of the suited beings, who was sweating nervously as the beeping of the instrument only accelerated in that strange way so as to overload the senses and cause severe discomfort to any sentient lifeform, and ordered him gruffly.

"Squareface, run back and grab the containment field from the ship".

The being, a motif of a black outlined square on the front of his opaque visor, ran off at great speed for about ten metres before returning.

"Forgot to ask, Captain, which containment field you want?"

"Bring the one from Swamp Delta. Green, slimy, you'll know it when you see it."

"Aye, aye Captain!"

Squareface saluted clumsily and ran off once again.

"Circleface and Trianglechest, in the meantime, go and pick up that green thing."

The two beings looked at the instrument, now beeping with a desperation akin to a fish on land, then back at each other.

Trianglechest (whose suit had an inverted white triangle...on his chest) replied politely.

"Respectfully Captain, I'd rather die thanks".

Circleface nodded vigorously in agreement, adding a thumbs up for extra emphasis of his endorsement of Trianglechest's statement.

The jellyfish on the Captain's shoulder wiggled its body in disappointment and the Captain jabbed an incensed finger at Trianglechest.

"Trianglechest you...", he fumed before letting out a sigh. "I don't know why I even asked you two useless wastes of breathable air. Get back to the ship and see if you can at least be of use to Squareface that damn idiot is just as likely to bring me the Gletrious-damned toaster than anything else."

"Will do, Captain Sir!"

Trianglechest beamed under his clear visor and saluted crisply before turning around and returning at a marching speed just slightly fast enough to indicate a certain level of alarm.

Circleface, not to be outdone, saluted with both hands and quickly followed behind.

The Captain turned back to the green object, expressions of greed and wariness warring on his face. The instrument had finally given out, sulking that everyone had all but ignored its vain attempt to indicate perilous danger, and was refusing to turn back on no matter how many times the Captain smacked it.

The jellyfish on his shoulder warbled something, waved a few tentacles around, and pointed at the ground and at the sky repeatedly.

"Yeah yeah, I know that. Whatever came here before us, it hasn't been long since they've left. I can almost taste them". He clenched his fist in front of him, grabbing at the air. "No prey escapes Captain Resquilatron. Alive that is..."

He began laughing menacingly for the next 14 minutes 32 seconds until the motley crew returned from the ship carrying what at first glance seemed to be a net of sorts between the three of them.

Circleface had somehow managed to wrap it fully around his head and was running in random directions in a panic, Trianglechest and Squareface attempting with partial success to calm him down and bring him to the Captain.

Eventually, they succeeded and Circleface proudly presented the knotted mass wrapped around his head with a double thumbs up.

Trianglechest merely looked amused and Squareface sighed, head in hands.

"I don't know why in Gletrious' Glorious name you're sighing, Squareface, I know for a fact you almost brought the wrong thing didn't you".

The Captain levelled an accusing glare at the offending being who raised two hands in mock, or knowing the Captain more likely real, surrender.

"We got the right thing in the end didn't we", Squareface protested, nodding at Trianglechest in an attempt to confer some sort of camaraderie amongst fellow workers.

He simply ignored his cry for help and spoke to the Captain directly.

"We've got the containment field right here, Captain. You sure it's gonna be enough?"

He eyed the leaf cautiously with the gaze one would usually look at an active volcano with.

"Bah", the Captain scoffed. "You coward couldn't milk a mollusc if its mother mailed it to your doorstep. Give this Gletrious-damned net to me and let me sort it out."

He grabbed it off of Circleface who looked around in shock, as though surprised he could see again. He had thought he had gone blind and had already reached the acceptance phase of his grief, calculating the possible ways to get out of pooplet duty, only to be ripped from his fantasies.

He walked to the side and sat down at the edge of the crater sulking. Trianglechest, slowly took a few steps back as well, though he made sure he kept a firm gaze on that leaf as he did.

The Captain looked at Squareface, the only one left, who sagged his shoulders with acceptance.

"You grab that end, I'll grab this side. Throw it onto the object and run like Gletrious is chasing you".

Squareface nodded, gripping his side firmly.

"1, 2, 3, NOW!"

They threw the net with a flourish and dashed backwards, launching themselves over the edge of the crater. Circleface and Trianglechest had long made themselves comfy on the other side, barely poking their heads above the lip to look. The other two joined them as the cloud of red dust began to settle, revealing the object within.

The dark green ropes of the net moved and wriggled like vines as they tightened around the leaf of cabbage, floating about a metre off the ground. They seemed to pulse with a strange sort of unlight as they stretched almost to breaking point before the pulsing subsided and it fell to the ground, inert.

No-one moved for a few seconds, before a more soothing ding sounded from the Captain's instrument in his pocket and he took a few cautious steps out. Reaching down, he picked it up for a closer look.

"This is our ticket out of here boys", he whispered. "Glory, riches, food! The name of Captain Resquilatron Ooglespooglesburgh shall echoe for eternity among the stars!"

He roared to the sky, joined by his jellyfish. Squareface let out a whoop and Trianglechest joined in reluctantly while Circleface did a little jig.

Well, let's just say I for one admire their optimism. Or is it single-minded stupidity? I guess we'll find out.

 

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