Hearing the price, Kana snapped out of her buzz, chugging the rest of her barrel of booze and clutching her chest dramatically. "Whew, that was close—almost fell for it!" She glared at Kira. "Five hundred thousand Jewel? Why don't you just rob me?! Do you know how much I make on a single job?"
Robbing's nowhere near as profitable as this.
Five hundred thousand Jewel—what's that worth? Let's break it down:
In the original story, Lucy's rent was 70,000 Jewel a month, and regular missions paid anywhere from a few thousand to tens of thousands.
The Galuna Island mission? That's an S-Class job with a reward of 7 million Jewel, plus a golden Celestial Spirit key. So, S-Class missions start at a few hundred thousand at least.
By that logic, 500,000 Jewel is just a few missions' worth!
If Kana took half a month per job, buying Kira's card set would leave her… well, "pretty" broke for a while.
And there's no guarantee it'd even pay off!
"I haven't checked the first-floor mission board in years," Kira said, tilting his head. "But I remember the girls' dorm rent is, what, 100,000 Jewel a month? So, your missions pull in, like, 300,000? Or maybe 100,000? Can't be much less than that, right?"
This guy's begging for a punch, Kana and Gray thought in unison, their expressions darkening.
Seeing their glares, Kira quickly backpedaled. "Whoa, whoa, what's with those looks? These are top-tier cards made by yours truly, a genius item crafter! My cards aren't like the cheap junk you find out there. I guarantee this set'll last you seven years! Seven years, people! At 500,000 Jewel, that's a steal!"
Seven years? Yeah, right. Once Kana hit S-Class, he'd just roll out a new set in a year or two.
No way he'd say that out loud, though.
And if Tenrou Island got sealed for seven years like in the story? Well, then he wouldn't be lying about the cards' lifespan.
"But 500,000 Jewel for just ten cards? That's a bit steep," Gray chimed in.
Kana's smarter than him, no question, but Gray clearly knew nothing about magic items.
Kira shot him a look that screamed you're clueless. "What do you know? For holder-type wizards, too many items just slow you down in a fight."
"Huh? Really? I thought more gear was better. Doesn't Erza have a ton of armor?"
Kira's eyes lit up. "You don't get it! Card players know: a lean deck is a strong deck!"
Turning back to Kana, he pressed on. "Got it, Kana? Card magic isn't like Gray or Natsu's ability-based stuff. You need strong cards to shine! If you keep using weak ones, you'll never level up."
Kana laughed, half-amused, half-annoyed. "Oh, you've got some nerve! The cards I'm using now? You sold them to me!"
"Uh…" Kira froze for a second, then pretended he didn't hear her. "Face it, Kana! Your only path to getting stronger is through cold, hard cash!"
"You're so annoying!" Kana chugged another barrel, then her expression shifted to a sly grin. "Tell you what—sell me the set for 30,000 Jewel, and I'll throw in a date to sweeten the deal."
She jiggled her chest for emphasis. "Bet you've never gone out with a girl before. Wanna give it a shot?"
Gray facepalmed. There she goes again.
You think that's gonna scam me?
Kira gently grabbed Kana's head, turning it away. "Nice try, but no dice. Poor folks can stick to their cheap booze. Come back when you've got real money."
"Scam me? As if!"
"Didn't you say you treat all customers equally?" Kana shot back.
"Except broke ones!"
"Ugh, you are a shady merchant!" Kana grumbled as she stormed off.
Kira turned to Gray, who'd somehow lost his shirt in the middle of all this, lost in thought.
"Gray, how about I enchant your clothes with a homing spell or something?"
"Huh? Where'd my shirt go?!" Gray finally noticed he was half-naked.
"Don't worry, I'll do it for free this time. You're too much of an eyesore like that."
"N-No thanks, I'm good like this."
Kira grimaced. "Ugh, you are an exhibitionist, aren't you?"
He turned and walked off, ready to hunt for his next customer.
"Bisca, Alzack, you two are so cute together! When's the wedding? Oh, by the way, I've got some awesome new magic guns—guaranteed to add some firepower to your romance. Come by and check 'em out sometime…"
Bisca's face turned red. "Oh, come on, we're not that far along…"
Alzack, too shy to meet her eyes, mumbled, "So embarrassing…"
The two were so wrapped up in each other, they didn't hear a word Kira said.
"Lisanna, your drawings are amazing! That paintbrush of yours is looking pretty worn, though. I've got a new one that'd be perfect—"
"No thanks, I'm happy with this one…"
"Levy, studying hard, huh? Reading too much isn't great for your eyes, you know. How about a new pair of glasses? Super affordable, only—"
The shy, petite Levy froze under Kira's enthusiastic pitch, too timid to respond.
No rejection? Score!
Kira pressed his advantage. "Text-based magic is super demanding, you know. That pen you've been using for months? Kinda old news. I just made a killer magic pen—perfect for your solid script magic. Smooth, stylish, and it'll make your spells pop. Wanna swing by and try it? Price is negotiable, and you know I'm always—"
"Back off, Levy!" two voices shouted in unison.
Jet and Droy popped up, ready to defend her.
"What's your deal, guys? I'm just selling!" Kira protested as they grabbed him. "Let go, don't pull me—!"
"Pfft, a couple of simps. No wonder you're single forever!" Kira muttered as he broke free and headed to the second floor.
Ugh, these guys. I'm just trying to help them out with custom gear at reasonable prices, and they all call me a shady merchant?
Erza's the best. Sure, she's a bit intense, but she buys without hesitation.
Is my sales pitch really that bad? So tiring. Whatever, time to switch gears and pick a mission.
Kira strolled to the mission board, scanning the postings. He closed his eyes, pointed a finger, and declared, "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!"
Opening his eyes, his finger landed on a familiar-looking mission.
[Break the island's curse. Location: Galuna Island. Reward: 7 million Jewel and a golden key.]
"Huh? Isn't this…" Kira dug through his dusty memories. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."