Painfully, I managed to enter through the open windows of the building, grunting in pain as I did so. Brute forcing my way through the pain and holding in my tears as I fell face first on the wooden flooring of the building that I now was breaking and entering. Not having enough time to stop, I let out a sharp gasp as I pulled my blue beret from my pockets and threw it into the sewer hole through the window that I have now just crawled through. The throwing motion no doubt, not making it easier on my body. Quickly straining my eyes and looking frantically around the room, my heart quickly dropped as I couldn't find anything big enough to hide my body with...Well, there was one thing that was big enough, but there was no possible way that it work...unless….Ah fuck! There's no time!
Nearly immobile from the pain, I grit my teeth and force myself to crawl on the ground. Crawling to the only thing that could hide me. I know it's stupid, but its the only thing in my immediate vicinity that can cover me. It was a box, and it reeked horrendously of the smell of durian fruit. Brute forcing my way towards the box, I reach it, and through great effort despite the pain, fit myself under the box, hiding underneath it….Shit that hurts! Hissing in agony from both the smell and the pain, I stay curled up underneath it, weathering the fierce storm like a sailor at sea.
Soon enough, they come. Sofiya Pavlovna's men. I can barely see them through the small hole in the box, but I could still see, that was the important part. Entering through the window much like me, they frantically move around the room, looking for me. I can see the idiots looking underneath the table, which mind you didn't have a tablecloth, so if I did try and hide under the table, they would have found me, like right away. Holding my breath, I next see their legs start moving to the area in which a closet should be.
A few seconds pass by before I hear the closet door open, only to hear a displeased curse and a slammed door. Well, the closet is no factor now as well. What next idiots?..Well, to be fair, i'm an idiot as well for even being in this fucking box. It was a stupid play, but I simply didn't have enough time nor enough stamina to fucking run through the house to look for a better position now do I? The footsteps get nearer and nearer as the men silently check vigorously throughout the room again. Hoping to find anything out of the ordinary.
A pause, then a step near my box. Ah shit, they fucking have me. Clenching my pistol, my heart seemed to beat so hard, that I thought it was gonna fly out of my fucking chest. Well, if I go down, im going down fighting, fuck you assholes, if I don't get to live my life, then you won't as well!
The tense air engulfed the room now as another step towards the box was heard, then another, and another. Through my tiny peephole from within the box, I could see their legs bend ever so slightly, and the shadow of their arm over their legs. Fuck! This was it! In a second they would discover me, and in a second, they'll get a bullet lodged deeply in their bodies, with a very high chance that ill also get shot as a result….i'm really going to die here...aren't I?
My hand already, on the trigger, I anxiously awaited for the hand to lift the cover of the cardboard box.
"Wait!" A voice calls out, it's one of the men standing near me.
"What comrade?" Replied the man in front of me, whose arm was so precariously positioned above my hiding box.
"I don't like the smell of durian. There's going to be a durian in there, judging by this horrid smell."
"I don't like it either, but we should check anyway."
"Do YOU really think that Sokolov would ever hide in such an obvious place as a cardboard box?"
"...Erm."
"We all saw Sokolov's beret down in the sewers. There's no way he would be up here above ground. He's not an idiot. He's the beast of Panjshir for god's sake. Do you really think that a man who could fool all of us, including the Kapitan, would ever hide in a cardboard box?"
"...Okay, that is a FAIR point. He couldn't be that possibly stupid...But.."
"Come on man, I have a date with a hot escort. Just my type as well, come on comrade... Don't blow it for me!"
"Pft, you're like in your early 30s, you're a stone's throw away from being an old man."
"You are to comrade!, we're both in our early 30's!"
"..."
"..."
"....Look, comrade, I understand, but we haven't even checked upstairs yet-"
"Comrade, trust me. Sokolov is not above ground, he's underground. It's only logical. Why would he risk all this danger rather than have a better chance in the sewers? I'm telling you, this is a waste of time. That cunning beast wants us to waste our time checking above ground, I'm telling you now, He threw away his beret just at the entrance of the sewers to try and split us up. He wants us to think that him taking the sewers is a feint. And that he's actually here. But he's not. He's in the sewers...clever bastard!"
"...I suppose you're right, there's no way he could possibly ever be so stupid as to hide in a cardboard box...And I suppose that he would have a better time in the sewers due to the narrowness and tightness limiting our positions and our ability to find him faster…"
"Trust me, I just want this to end and go have my little date with that minx of an escort. I can't stress this enough, Sokolov isn't here. It's a waste of time trying to find him anywhere other than the sewers. Now come, I'll buy you a round!"
"... Sigh...Fine, but I think Sokolov might be right after all."
"...About what?"
"About being rusty, that's what. We're just not like how we were back during the war. You saw that cqc stunt he pulled on Adam right? Something tells me that the current me wouldn't be able to pull that off nearly as fast as him..And did you see his face? He looks exactly the same, like the Kapitan-"
"Hush now! We can talk about it later when we have beer in our bellies, and a woman around our arms!"
"...You my friend, have gotten, inappropriately lustful as of late you know? This kind of behavior would have never been tolerated back in the red army."
"My friend, we are soldiers of no army now, of no one except for the Kapitan...And besides, why a hand, when I can just use a woman to fulfill my needs?"
"...You know, I think I've heard that somewhere before...I just can't put my finger on it though…"
"Hah! Well, I suppose a pint of alcohol will help now, will it?"
"Heh, I suppose so… I suppose so."
Their footsteps gradually distanced themselves from my hiding place underneath the cardboard. Breathing lightly, I still lay curled up in my current position, eagerly awaiting for them to get the fuck out of the building, my heart still beating absurdly fast all the while as they continue to walk away.
…
…
…
I hear the door, presumably the entrance of the building being opened, and within a few seconds, I hear it close again, the voices of the two men now getting further away and audibly hard to hear. Still staying still, I wait for the better part of a minute, just to be sure, straining my ears to hear anything, anything at all. Breathing, footsteps, you name it. I have to make absolutely sure. Because if I fuck up? Then I really am dead.
"...Fuck, that should be enough time. I don't hear anything, hell don't see anything through this hole…" I mutter to myself, still gripping my pistol absurdly tight.
"...One, two...THREE!" I whisper to myself before gently lifting the cardboard box up slightly ajar with my free hand, slowly and cautiously sliding out of the lifted box.
Not stopping, I continue crawling. Making my way to the stairway, I look at the windows. Nobody? All right, clear. Bracing myself, I quickly stand up and crouch power walk up the stairs, can't be making noise now can I?...But still, holy hell man, I need a fucking ointment or something!
Forcing my way upstairs and holding in my discomfort, I finally reached the top. Taking a moment to breathe, with my pistol at the ready the whole time, I waste a second before moving. With my grip still strong on my pistol, I use my free hand and open the door closest to me, already preparing just in case I have to fire this damn thing.
The door opens. I point my pistol into the room. The front is clear. I check my left, and the left is clear. I check my right, right is clear. It's too soon to relax however. Slowly with my free hand, I push the open door gently to the wall, to make sure nobody is hiding behind the door.
...Alright, clear. Now all that's left is the armoire. Slowly and cautiously, I make my way to the closet before stopping right in front of it.
With my free hand, I quickly open the closet doors, to find nothing inside them. With a relieved sigh, I turn around quickly to the open door and close it. Luckily for me, the window blinds were closed so I could stand up and make the process exponentially fast.
Letting out another sigh, I park my ass right on the bed in the room, still facing the door, albeit now with my pistol a little bit relaxed. I still wasn't completely sure that this building was free of hostels after all, but I really need a fucking breather here.
"...Holy shit that smell was really fucking bad…" I mutter to myself, calming myself down just a little bit as I comprehend what had just happened.
"Those idiots really have dulled. A cardboard box is like, the most obvious place to check under, what the hell happened from then till now? Forget rookies, they're more like over glorified civilians now...Sheesh!"
"....I really need to get the hell out of here...but the question is, how? How the fuck do I escape this situation?"
"...Shit, I'm really in it now huh?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After checking all the other rooms, I can't help but scowl. Good news was, I was safe. Bad news was, I was trapped, like a beast in a cage. If I leave this building, then chances are, they'll catch me almost immediately, I need a disguise, problem was, I didn't have one. All the clothes in the closet didn't fit me, the shoes didn't either. My facial hair and long hair was an easy factor in recognizing me, I was at a dead end.
"....Wait…"
"My mustache and hair!...but will it really work though?....Ah fuck it. I still need to DO something..."
Sigh.
Walking to the bathroom, I gently open the door and look at myself in the mirror.
Jesus I looked like shit. My hair was all frizzy, My mustache making me look like I was in my late twenties. Not to mention my dirty ass face, with all the dirt and soot and shit all over it. Keeping silent as I examine myself once more facing the window, I can't help but stroke the small but noticeable patch of hair on my chin...Aw man I'm going to miss you my son!
With the umpteenth sigh of the day, I open a drawer in search of...just about anything really, a razor, a knife, a shaver. You know, shit that will cut just about cut hair. Not finding anything in the drawer. I move onto the next, same as the first nothing. Moving on the cabinet door, I open it and finally find what I'm looking for. Voila! It was a box of disposable razors, wow, lucky me I guess.
"..."
Saying nothing, I could only look melancholically at myself in the bathroom mirror as I held the disposable razor…. You know, for some reason, doing the simple act known as shaving hurts me way more than killing a man, or you know, actually getting hurt. It's a foolish notion I know, but for some reason I really want to keep my unkempt and unshaven face.
….
...
...Hah, what am I even doing? This is just fucking absurd. Turning on the tap, I run it under hot water for a good few seconds, just in case you know?
With a tight grip, I angle my head as I look into the mirror, making it slightly easier to shave. The sensation of shaving my hair off unnerved me as I kept on doing so...It's really fucking weird, I just have an unexplained attachment to my mustache...Dammit, another thing that I have to lose, another thing to mourn for.
Once I'm finished, I carefully examine myself in the mirror, checking for any nicks or scratches. Satisfied, I open the upper cabinets, just above the mirror. After a quick look inside, I found what I was looking for. Jackpot. It was a small medical box. Opening it, I found a pair of surgical scissors, unused presumably, they looked clean, but just to make sure, I gave it a good rinse in the water just like the razor.
Once more, looking at the mirror, I hold pieces of my hair as I cut them with the scissors, all with a scowl on my face as I did so. You know, there was the fact that I simply was not a barber, so this was gonna look like shit, along with the fact that there wasn't any face scream, so my face was going to be itchy as all hell tomorrow, but I would probably look different enough. Different enough for Sofiya's men to give me a third or fifth glance if I was lucky.
Soon enough, I finished my hair, somewhat satisfied as I still scowled at myself. It wasn't bad, nor was it good either. It was very amateurish...What the fuck am I even doing? Why was I cutting my hair and shaving, in the middle of a hunt, a hunt for me no less. Had I finally gone insane?
With a sigh, I turn on the tap water one final time, and letting the lukewarm water run through my fingers, I slowly bunch them together, cupping my hands together to hold the water. Feeling the water slowly trickling from my palms to my wrists, I slowly move my cupped hands to my face, letting the lukewarm water wash my face. Still feeling all the dirt and grime, I do this again, and again, and again. But no matter how much I wash my face, the feeling of uncleanliness doesn't go away.
As I looked in the mirror, I suppressed a heavy urge to blanch. I looked like myself. The civilized version of myself. Myself before I turned into a feral, savage beast. I looked like I still belonged in the shitty, hypocritical power structure known as society. I look like I had never killed a man in my life, like I had never fired a rifle, or spent days starving while being shelled with artillery fire. I looked… sinless, I looked like I still had a chance….I… No. I can't. I can't think about this stuff, not now, not in such a dangerous time.
Shaking my head in disgust, I , for some inexplicable reason couldn't bring myself to hate that face, the face belonged to me oh so long ago. I couldn't bring myself hate. I couldn't bring myself to mock. I couldn't bring myself to do anything really. The only thing that I could bring myself to do, was to look at the face of a hypocrite and a liar. I'm a terrible person, I've accepted that. I've accepted that from day one. But for some reason, some unexplainable, disgusting reason, the look on my face made me want to become a better man. A better man than...well, the wreck of a man in front of this mirror, that's for sure.
And that disgusted me to no end at all.
To no end at all.