With hands clasped behind his back, Kaelen stared at the contents of the shelf towering over him. What better way to search than to look as though he knew what he was searching for.
The irony of it all was that he (in the past) was apparently the one who had stored the book away.
Eryn thought that going to the library could connect some of the loose screws in his head. Although, Kaelen could tell that some part of the youngest brother didn't want him to remember.
He reached towards a faded set of papers. With the careless looping of threads where its spine should be, it looked nothing like the carefully-curated respectable texts that filled rows and rows of shelves. In some sentimental and nonsensical way, he sympathized with the naked book.
Ever since he woke up, he had been at the mercy of information. Information about himself and everything around him. He stuck out like a sore thumb, having to search people's gazes and find clues in their actions about who exactly he was. Though, he found nothing friendly waiting for him. Only in the eyes of this supposed family did he seem to resemble a person.
That was all he had to cling to. But what more could he do? He could either be helpless, or let it all go. Neither option was easy to swallow.
Now, he was left searching for an old journal a mother left to her sons before she valiantly died in battle.
He wanted to laugh at himself. Certainly, this insignificant pile of papers wasn't facing the same identity crisis as he was.
Shoving it back, he picked up another. Manuals, manuals everywhere. He could tell by then that Starlit Order was a guild that took pride in their fighting, but Kaelen couldn't believe the amount of books on battle.
Swordsmanship, spearmanship, wrestling and all forms of combat imaginable. Some even sounded like practical jokes, because what in the world was the hug of thesnake? The cover illustration looked more like strangulation than technique.
He slid it back on the shelf and dusted his palms against each other.
The sigh came naturally. There was much to sigh about nowadays. He squatted, resting against the hard wood of the shelf. His white robe would surely cling to the dust, but that was not even on his list of concerns.
On the other hand, it felt too unfair. Forced to search for these answers all of a sudden, but for what? He wasn't even sure he wanted them.
Maybe he didn't need those memories. Maybe he could just let it all go. Settle into a new life.
Well, start over in a fairly-used life.
But he could make it work. He could even find a purpose here.
Despite whatever issue his Master had with him, maybe he could improve his martial arts and make it big as a hunter, like Nix explained.
Or on second thought, maybe he could just take it easy, become a sword-polisher or something. His family seemed rich enough.
Before he could wander too far into his fantasies, soft footsteps suddenly echoed, approaching the large library area.
He stood upright and walked to the edge of the shelf and his gaze settled on the wide entrance. The ajar doors were pushed open further and a person entered, with the ease of stepping into his own home. It gave off a feel that it was only natural that they would be there.
Kaelen instantly recalled nearly losing an eye to this boy. His stomach turned at the sight of that perfect face, with eyes too clear and skin too smooth to be normal. Kaelen thought it the kind of face best admired from a distance.
The boy softly shut the door. Not noticing anything amiss, he scanned the shelves with routine precision. His hand reached out as he pulled a particular purple book, before he darted to one of the tables. He immediately flipped to a page that was saved by a leaf.
From Kaelen's point of view, every move and expression was on full display.
It wasn't like it was a crime for disciples to use a library. He also looked to be rather content. Kaelen decided not to disturb him, and just go about his search.
However, if the universe actually cared for him, maybe he wouldn't be where he was.
His foot caught on the corner of the shelf and in his struggle to stay upright, he knocked down some books. They landed on him and perhaps also tried to break his fall, but only aggravated the injuries he had forgotten about. With a loud groan, Kaelen rolled over and clutched his ribs.
Of course. His life was only entertainment for the heavens, wasn't it.
Before he could take in the events of the past three seconds, a person was looking down on him. Through squinted eyes, he recognized the only other person that had been in the library.
The shame kicked in.
"Um.. nothing broke." He wasn't sure if he meant the shelf, the books or himself. But luckily, the shoe fit them all. Unluckily, that wouldn't stop the mortification from killing him. The boy's eyes flicked between the books and his hand clutching his ribs, as if gauging which to assist.
"Alright." Was all he said. His voice was as unreadable as his expression. With unhurried movements, he moved the remaining books from Kaelen's body, then bent to support his arm and lift him up.
He hauled him over to the closest table, notably far from his own. Could he already not stand the sight of him? Or maybe he was just too heavy.
What was he even imagining? Did he think the boy would drag him to his faraway seat and cradle his head in his lap while he read him stories? He must have damaged his brain further, to have any expectations.
But to Kaelen's surprise, he sat down across from him.