Kaelen settled on a tree swing, perched on a hill overlooking the Order— which he realized was just a coalition of training grounds and houses.
It was surprising to find such a tranquil place in this guild of mayhem.
Regardless, with slumped shoulders, he had to accept that he was getting absolutely nowhere with his botched memories.
He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, letting the swing rock him slowly.
Before I started choking on the medicine and woke up on that bed, what I know for sure is I was on cold, wet ground.
And I was definitely dying.
Then why would I end up here? In someone else's life.
"Is this like.. a second chance? What about the original? Did he get a second chance too?" He murmured to himself.
Well, considering that he tried to harm himself, maybe he didn't want one.
…Did I want a second chance?
He hummed and let out another sigh. Then he covered his face with both hands in frustration. All the back and forth, the forth and the back. What was the point of pondering over the same two pieces of information?
He decided not to dwell on originals and counterfeits anymore. It wasn't a dream, it was his new reality.
Two hands suddenly pushed him on the back, causing the swing to go higher.
Kaelen was immediately on high alert and jumped off, turning to look at what was behind him.
A young boy with blonde hair who was literally rolling on the floor in laughter. "You don't.. usually.. scare.. so easily. Or at all!" He wheezed out between laughs.
When he finally calmed down, he got up and replaced Kaelen on the swing, a big smile on his face. One that made his grey eyes sparkle. "I got a break from training."
All the while, Kaelen had been watching with an unimpressed look. He could take a guess as to who this was, but he still had to remain cautious.
"What were you thinking about so deeply? You would never let me sneak up on you like that." He shifted slightly on the swing as he mused.
What a bubbly guy, Kaelen thought. He does kind of look like Nix. The face shape, the nose…
"You're Eryn, right?" He asked carefully.
The boy abruptly used his feet to anchor the swing. His eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Oh, right," He muttered. "I heard you were doing better… but I never expected you would get such severe memory loss." He bit on his thumb finger and looked to be deep in thought.
Kaelen inched closer and took a seat beside him on the wide wooden swing. He seemed harmless enough. "So you really are him?"
Eryn snapped out of his internal calculations and nodded.
"Why did you come here? Do I come here often?" Kaelen wondered and he confirmed his suspicions with yet another nod.
Eryn propped his legs up and hugged them before explaining.
"You said you loved the sobriety. The way the leaves fell, the way the wind blew, the people far below. You really do— or did.. hate people. You'd often go where there was no one or only insects and animals."
"People seem to share the same sentiment towards me."
Eryn laughed. "I'm not sure why. You're really great." He smiled again. For some reason, his smile made Kaelen feel really comfortable.
But he had been on the receiving end of at least twenty of those award-winning smiles. All in the span of two minutes. He would go blind, at this rate.
"You sure are smiley for someone being mistreated." Kaelen lifted a probing eyebrow, glancing at this youngest brother with a twinge of unease. His carefree attitude made him worry all the more.
"Mistreated? Certainly not! They love me over there. Today, my Senior agreed to let me quickly visit my sick brother at home. He even flew me all the way here." Eryn happily recounted.
Forget nepotism, he sounded like some pampered heiress.
Kaelen felt some of the tension physically evaporate as he let out a quiet breath.
Then Eryn's face suddenly fell. "I sincerely apologize for not being able to see you before you left. We were in the middle of an exam. When it was over, I heard you had woken up and Nix took you back home." He tilted his head down, as if in shame or deep regret.
"Hey, no need to apologize for having an exam. I was the one who stupidly fell down a mountain…" He cleared his throat.
"But you seem so happy to see me. I don't think anyone's smiled at me since I woke up. Or are you just happy about everything?" Kaelen asked, slightly hoping he wasn't just receiving the general happiness package.
He was starting to feel like a dark cloud. At least one person should love him!
The ray of sunlight beside him quickly scorched those ill feelings. The boy seemed to get reinjected with vigor at the topic of his brother.
"Of course, I'm happy. You're my favourite person." He proudly said.
Kaelen felt his heart warm up to the point of almost bursting. All dark clouds faded away and a rainbow sprouted in his chest.
"Brother, since you don't remember, let me tell you. You pretend not to, but you dote on me so much, even more than Nix." He broke out into another shit-eating grin.
"That doesn't sound like me." He joked.
"How would you know?" Eryn stuck his tongue out playfully.
"Again, I'm really happy to see you're doing better." He paused, then sighed softly. He used one hand to feel the splintery wood beneath him as he spoke, "I do receive some hostility while I'm there, but it's okay. I only wish to become a great healer, just like mum. As long as she's proud, everyone else can go eat glass!" He declared triumphantly.
Kaelen simply burst out laughing and nodded, "I'm sure you will be."
He briefly wondered what their parents were like. Judging from the tone, he at least guessed their mother was no more.
At the sound of his laugh, Eryn paused and turned to face him. Now meeting his gaze, Kaelen noticed that the boy's eyes seemed to water.
"Huh? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I do something?" Kaelen sweat-dropped.
But Eryn only shook his head.
"Brother, there's one bright side to all of this. You were able to forget the things that weighed on you so heavily."
Before Eryn left, he told Kaelen what he remembered about their mother, and what Nix told him. He was only three when she passed, after all, so he couldn't recall much.
He could remember her smile very clearly, so he wanted to look like her, and smile the way he remembered her smiling.
Their mother was kind, but also ruthless. A skilled mage and healer.
He also said that she died during the agitation against a large-scale military coup in Starlit.
She fought alongside other warriors, including their father, and in the end, they were both reported to have passed.
Though, it seemed neither him nor Nix knew much about their father.
But like icing on cake, or rain after a drought, he also mentioned the journal she left behind for them.