What kind of Homunculus do you want to become? – by Ann Murray
Hmm? What's this?
Tucked away in the farthest corner of a rundown secondhand bookstore, I found an old book covered in dust.
I picked it up out of curiosity.
It looked like a Western comic, maybe American? But I'd never heard of the author or the title before.
Ten years of proud nerd life—and yet here was something I didn't know? The unfamiliar word "homunculus" sparked a challenge inside me.
I opened the book and started reading.
In the Empire of Lafarme, alchemists dream of raising the perfect homunculus.
A homunculus is an artificial human, created through alchemy by mixing a man's semen with a woman's blood.
For several months, it lives in a flask, slowly evolving and taking on a more human form. And then, when the time is right, it emerges from the flask and "transforms."
What it becomes after this final transformation depends on its education.
A homunculus can become anything: a beggar, a thief, a mage, a warrior, a commoner, an insect, an animal, a monster, a spirit, a fairy, a beauty, an ugly wretch, a handsome hero, a divine beast... even a god!?
Even if the transformation fails and they become something unimpressive, homunculi are still beings born from sacred alchemy, trained from the moment they awaken. They have a natural gift for magic, spirit summoning, and alchemy.
As powerful as they are, raising a proper homunculus is extremely difficult. Creating one is hard enough, but raising it to maturity is an even greater challenge.
Female homunculi, especially, are notoriously tricky.
Alchemist Keiton and his assistant Kahel have once again failed today... but they continue to fight on, determined to raise a girl homunculus—
I stopped reading and closed the book. It was about time to head home.
Out of nowhere, a memory of Ed rose up, making my nose sting.
He worked at the Italian restaurant I recently quit. Two years older than me, Ed was kind, soft-spoken, and ridiculously attractive.
His warm smile, gentle tone, and easy charm had won over pretty much every woman at the place.
A month ago, right before Valentine's Day, I called him. I already knew he didn't have a girlfriend.
—"Hey, Jess. What's up?"
"Hey Ed! Uh... you're off tomorrow, right? You only work weekdays."
—"Tomorrow? Why?"
"Do you have any plans?"
—"I'm free in the evening, I think."
My heart leapt. I tried to keep my voice from shaking.
"Then... would you maybe want to hang out with me tomorrow night?"
I'd been planning this for weeks. Sure, Ed was nice to everyone, but he was always especially sweet to me.
His voice, his smile... just thinking about them made my heart flutter.
Jessica, huh? That name really suits you.
Jess, it's okay. I'll do it. Don't worry if you mess up.
Jess, you're really cute. Sometimes I feel like your brother.
Ed, the sweet and gentle one. Tomorrow, I am finally going to confess.
—"Tomorrow night, huh?"
He sounded a little hesitant—but then answered brightly.
—"Sure. But I'm busy during the day, so I'll be at the restaurant until the afternoon. Want to meet nearby? Just call me when you get there."
"Okay!"
The next day.
I'd been jittery all morning. I bought the cologne he once said he liked, wrapped up some chocolates, and placed them carefully in a shopping bag. I couldn't stand waiting at home.
I wandered around until a little after five, then headed toward the restaurant, grinning like an idiot. I couldn't stop smiling. I was that excited.
A surprise visit. Maybe I'll say hi to the manager too.
The snow had piled up lightly on the ground.
By the time I arrived, the lights inside were already on.
If it's busy because of Valentine's, I can wait... it'll be fine.
I reached for the door, heart pounding.
It was locked.
What...?
The lights were on, but the place was closed.
I peeked through the window. Warm lights... a cozy, romantic décor I'd never seen before. Maybe they decorated just for the holiday.
My heart pounded harder. I didn't know why.
Did they start taking a break in the afternoons after I left?
But Ed said he'd be here today.
Did we miss each other already?
I walked over to the bathroom on the left side of the building and called his number.
—Beep. Beep. Beep.
No answer. It wasn't even 5:30 yet. We were supposed to meet at 6. Maybe he was just caught up with something. I hung up and started to type a message.
[Where are yo—]
Before I could finish, the restaurant door opened.
Two people stepped out. And the moment I saw them, my blood ran cold.
I nearly dropped my phone.
I clenched it so tightly it felt like it might break in my hand.
It was Ed.
And the young female manager I'd always looked up to—almost like a sister.
She was holding his arm and leaning into him, smiling. They were completely lost in their own little world.
"Thank you for today, Ed."
"No, I should be the one thanking you."
I followed them without even realizing it. We were supposed to meet in thirty minutes—where was he going?
The two of them slowly descended the stairs...And then headed for the parking lot.
They kissed.
Right in front of the car, they kissed. I stood there like an idiot, watching.
How long had this been going on?
I'd suspected other female coworkers, but the manager...?
I never even considered it.
I wandered back to the subway and sat on a bench by the turnstiles, dazed.
The shopping bag with the cologne and chocolates was still in my hand.
I wanted to toss it in the trash, but I'd spent too much to let it go.
Did he even remember we had plans?
Time passed in a blur. The clock hit 6:00. Still no word from Ed.
I waited ten more minutes. Then got on the train home.
About thirty minutes later, just as I got off the bus—
My phone buzzed violently.
[Ed]
I stared at the screen for a while.
Then picked up, just to hear what excuse he'd give.
"Hello?"
—"Hey Jess. Sorry I'm late..."
Forty minutes is "late"? Really?
—"Hello? Jess?"
"I'm listening. Go ahead."
—"Where are you? You called too early. Weren't we meeting at 6?"
"So you did remember. Then why are you calling forty minutes after?"
There was a pause.
—"Sorry, I got caught up with something. Super busy. Where are you?"
I let out a bitter laugh.
Did he not even consider that I might have come by the restaurant?
"I didn't hear from you, so I went home. Take care, Ed."
—"Wait, what? Take care—what's that supposed to mean—"
I hung up.
It's already been a month since that day. He never contacted me again.
I put the book back and stepped outside. The icy wind of late winter stung my face.
Just as I was about to punch in the code to my front door, my phone rang again. Jenny?
—"Wanna go on a trip abroad?"
"Huh?! TRIP?!"
—"25th birthday trip. If we don't go now, we'll never get around to it. What do you say?"
I said yes without thinking.
I guess... I just needed a way out.
"Ha! You love the ocean even though you can't swim. You're the most excited out of all of us!"
"People who can't swim always love the ocean! Check out this floatie I got—behold my masterpiece!"
My high school friends, Jenny and Nelly, ran laughing down the sandy beach.
I was wearing a bright red bikini I'd been eyeing online for months.
Our "25th Birthday Trip."
(Though honestly, we just needed any excuse.)
"Must be nice, traveling even while jobless!"
The emerald sea sparkled in front of us. Technically, I was the only one unemployed.
Jenny was a student, Nelly had barely managed to get time off from work. I'd used every cent from my part-time gigs for this trip.
"You really should've learned how to swim. Just floating around with a tube is a waste."
Jenny stretched, teasing.
"No way. Why would I pay to learn when I've got you guys?"
I followed their stretches, determined.
But the moment I stood at the edge of the water—without the floatie—I hesitated.
"Actually... learning to swim in the ocean might be a little too much... right?"
My friends burst out laughing.
"Exactly! So you're just gonna float and do nothing?"
I bounced the floatie in my hands.
"For now, yeah. Maybe I'll try tomorrow if I feel brave."
"Do what you want. Let's go!"
Jenny and Nelly splashed into the waves without hesitation. Jenny's yellow bikini and Nelly's black bikini flickered like fish beneath the emerald water.
I followed, hugging my floatie.
Floating gently between the waves...My body relaxed. The tension melted away.
The temperature was perfect. The sunlight was warm.
It felt like paradise.
Warm sun, soft waves, my body half-submerged in peace.
I felt lazy. Sleepy. Happy.
I wish I could stay like this forever.
No job hunting. No stress. Just... float.
It was the perfect escape.
I closed my eyes, enjoying the breeze and the glow of the setting sun.
When I opened them again, I couldn't see my friends.
They're probably fine. Maybe they finished swimming and went back to the beach.
How long had I been out here?
I thought I'd just dozed off, but something felt... off. The peacefulness was gone. I felt cold.
I wasn't floating anymore.
I was sinking.
What...? I was on the floatie...!
That's when I realized—
The floatie wasn't holding me up anymore. It had deflated. Like a popped balloon.
But how... how far had I drifted?
By the time I came to, I was already swallowing mouthfuls of seawater.
Salty. So salty. I couldn't breathe.
Water flooded my throat.
I kicked. My feet didn't find the bottom.
I thrashed my arms, but the ocean dragged them back.
Where did things go wrong?
Even as the salt burned my lungs and my vision darkened, my mind kept spinning.
I was near the shore... Wasn't I?
Where are my friends?
Why did the floatie...?
The questions wouldn't stop. My panic grew.
Everything blurred.
I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or shut.
Was someone yelling nearby?
Were those voices? A language I couldn't understand?
I kicked. Flailed. Desperately.
But I couldn't breathe anymore.
I'm dying.
I'm actually dying.
Then—
Suddenly, I could breathe again.
I gasped.
And then—
Stillness.
A peace too deep for words.
My mind faded into darkness.