All these days I was busy preparing for the move to the acquired castle. And if I gathered everything from the house quite quickly, then cleaning up the garage was exhausting. And although I could leave all this junk here with a brave soul, my soul and carefully cultivated frugality did not allow me to do so. Schematics, circuit boards, tools, modified tools, wires, all of this could come in handy. In between, I read books, continuing to restore my memory. To be honest, at first I was frankly afraid of these abstruse books. I had read enough of them during my studies. However, I soon changed my mind. Each subsequent one resembled fiction more than scientific literature. And no, the style in them was preserved; rather, my brain, and with it my consciousness, adapted.
I also managed to go to the bank, where I was received with suspicious warmth. I learned that Drakken used to live on the money received from patents. Many of them were obtained not so long ago, about three years ago, and their term would end only in seventeen years. Although many of them are already outdated, science does not stand still. But Drew did not decide to become a villain for nothing, for foresight is one of the important traits of someone who is constantly wanted to be beaten and sent for re-education. Almost all the provided licenses for the right to use were paid with a one-time large sum. And 90% of all the money was in a savings account. A good financial safety net in case things don't work out with the League. However, I did not touch them, because the League still provides all its employees with everything they need for life and villainous activities, with the exception of food and drinks. I hope my three hundred bucks will be enough for some time. Well, if my wallet hits rock bottom, I can still withdraw money from any branch.
In the garage, I found some "crafts" that would have been called full-fledged inventions in my old world. A device that looked like a retro-futuristic pistol fired a shrinking ray. On the side there was a tight safety catch, as well as several toggle switches to change the shrinking modes, both in time and in "shrinking power." In addition, it fit nicely in the pocket of my lab coat, where it immediately went.
The second find was a flimsy-looking perpetual lighter. It felt like an orc mekboy, not my former self, had made it. Seriously, it seemed like it was about to fall apart, but here it is! It's been working for two days now. An external examination of the fuel tank revealed nothing. And I was afraid to look at what was inside because of a reminder note with the inscription: "do not disassemble." I don't smoke, but it would do as a gift for someone. True, I still haven't figured out how to extinguish it. I'll probably give it to Shego and tell her to keep it safe.
Also in the garage, I found a truly important discovery. How did I know? While everything else was lying around wherever, it was covered in dust or dirt, this particular item was absolutely clean, as if it had been polished, and it smelled of oil. In a folder nearby and additionally in a file, there was documentation. Of course, the crooked handwriting slightly spoiled the impression of this whole ideal picture, but it did not change the essence: in front of me was an anti-gravity device. I think in the original cartoon, Doctor Drakken had his own flying saucer, and now I understand how it worked for him. I will not bother you with the detailed principle of its operation, but in short: it allowed an object to be fixed relative to the Z coordinates in the XYZ system. In other words, it fixed the height in space. Of course, it is worth refining it, but even now it could be put on any jalopy and you could fly, provided that the jalopy would be able to push the object forward in the air.
Shego came every day. Despite her outwardly aloof appearance, you could literally feel her desire to act. This active nature was perceived as a predator ready to pounce on its prey at any moment. But I was adamant, refusing to let her work until we moved. We talked about a lot of things, I fed her pancakes and fritters, for which she, apparently, came. But I could tell by her that she would never admit it.
It is also worth noting that I finally received my ordered suit. More precisely, it flew to me. It was strange. Very strange. But I was once again convinced that we have weirdos working in the League. What's strange about it, you ask? Well…
***
It was late at night, and I was sound asleep after an exhausting day of packing. I dreamed of my former world, but it was somehow faded, and so as soon as the setting in the dream changed, I would forget the previous one. And I was woken up by a knock on the door. I jumped out of bed, glancing at the alarm clock. Two in the morning?! Who's banging on my door at this hour?!
I put on my ever-present lab coat, took out the Shrinkinator, as I decided to call it, and took off the safety catch. I swear by all those who brought me here, if this is not something important, the uninvited guest will remain a dwarf forever! I turned the toggles to half-size reduction and maximum duration. Even if my Shrinkinator breaks after this, I don't care. I was angry. Well, who wouldn't be when they are woken up in the middle of the night like that?
When I cautiously opened the door, first sticking out my weapon, and then looking at the guest, I saw a phlegmatic-looking person. More precisely, not a person. Literally everything screamed that my guest was a vampire. A dark cloak trailing to the ground with a high collar, embroidered with orange threads that formed a pattern of bats. Very pale skin, as if he was made of marble. And, of course, the appearance itself: my guest looked like a classic Nosferatu from Masquerade. Fanged mouth, two holes instead of a nose, a bald, wrinkled head, a slightly sloping forehead, and a crooked nose. He looked old, but his eyes with bright scarlet irises shone with a desire to live despite everything.
— Greetings, m-mortal! — I swear, I was already ready to shoot just from the sight of him. But when he spoke, I almost shrieked. I don't know what it cost me to suppress this shameful urge, but I still managed to save face.
— And I greet you too... um... Almost-immortal? — in response, he grimaced a little.
— A Child of the Night, a faithful son of Evil has gained the mantle you s-sought, — and he slightly opened his cloak, like a real shady dealer, revealing my suit, which for some reason was hanging on a metal hook.
— Listen, won't that hook kill you?
— This is hypoallergenic titanium, m-mortal! — the vampire replied, either offended or indignant, and explained.
— Okay, okay, forgive my curiosity. Let's go try it on, — I turned around and went inside the house, but halfway there I noticed that he was still standing on the doorstep.
— M-mortal, for a Child of the Night to enter your abode, you must utter the key phrase: "Be a guest in my house." Otherwise, in the s-same instant, the immortal will be s-scattered to dust by the wind, and you will not be able to obtain even a s-s-speck! — his pompous style and lisp did not at all contribute to the understanding of his speech, especially when half-asleep. After a few seconds of hesitation, I nodded.
— Be a guest in my house, — he nodded gratefully and walked inside. Under my menacingly-intense gaze, he still took off his shoes, leaving his patent leather shoes in the hallway. Apparently, he felt my thoughts with his vampiric intuition, about where I last saw silver in the house.
— Never before have the Children of the Night been able to see this tradition in these parts, — he seemed surprised.
— Do vampires often visit America? — I retorted.
— Not often.
We went into the living room, where he could finally take out the entire suit. Having somehow pulled out a hanger from his inner pockets, he hung the attire on the door. Well, the suit was really beautiful: timeless classic, gray color, Paisley pattern, made with green thread. Everything I asked for. Surprisingly, it turned out to be inexpensive: there was no functionality in it except for the appearance. I could have sewn a Kevlar lining into it, installed energy shields, and many, many other things, but the cost would have increased significantly. I'll come up with and install a shield myself if I need to, or I'll steal one from someone if I need it urgently.
— And what should I call you? It's not very convenient to keep saying "Vampire" or "Child of the Night," — I asked thoughtfully, putting on the purchase.
— Tremble, m-mortal! In a w-wicked night I was born, and by Darkness I was given a great name: S-sergey S-semenovich! — the old vampire answered enthusiastically. I think now I understand what Shego felt when I was talking to her about ice cream not so long ago. I really like to see people confused. Meanwhile, I was putting on my pants and almost fell over.
— O-okay... — I even stammered, still not recovered from the shock. — Sergey Semenovich, it needs to be tailored, it's a little tight in the shoulders.
— This Unholy Creature has mastered all the mysteries of the needle and thread, has passed them through himself and has ascended to unprecedented heights of mastery! — he replied, taking a pin cushion and a set of threads from his cloak.
In general, the process of trying on and fitting the suit to my body took some more time, during which the old vampire continued to talk about what a skillful dark master he was. Although it rather made me smile. However, the process was soon completed.
— Sergey Semenovich, have you ever thought about going to the dentist, for example? Your bite kind of ruins your diction, although it complements the image of an Unholy Child of the Night perfectly, — I was shamelessly lying. He was lisping so much that I sometimes had to guess part of the words myself.
— No instrument, forged by a m-mortal or an immortal, can harm a vampire, unless it is made of vile s-silver. And if it can, everything will immediately return to its original state, — and, despite the meaning of his speech, he sighed heavily and with regret.
— Well then... I'm not a dentist, of course. But maybe we can try a non-instrumental method? — with these words, I pompously took out the Shrinkinator that I had previously hidden in my inner pocket.
— Presumptuous fool! You cannot change fate! — he said no less importantly. But his eyes... he most of all resembled Puss in Boots from Shrek right now, — they were burning with such a plea and hope.
And I did not disappoint him. I had to go get some tools and dig through the contents of the Shrinkinator. And so, by turning the toggles and aiming carefully, I shot him right in his protruding teeth. They began to dry up before my eyes, until they finally reached almost human size. The old vampire disbelievingly felt his jaw, ran his tongue over the rows of his new teeth, and smiled gratefully.
— I cannot count my gratitude to you, mortal. Know this: from now on and forever, Sergey Semenovich will remember your help. And in a time of need, he will answer your call. And I'll give you a 20% discount on suits, — he was so happy that he even broke character from his cool Ancient Vampire persona.
— You're welcome.
Soon he said goodbye and, turning into a bat, flew away. I carefully hung the suit on a hanger, returned the Shrinkinator's settings to the weapon state, and went back to sleep. The move was scheduled for tomorrow.
***
And so, when the things were packed, the books were reread, the suit was put on along with the familiar lab coat, and the assistant did not know what to do with the lighter she was given, which was still on, we went out into the yard to wait for our transport. A helicopter was supposed to be sent for us. By the way, Shego appreciated the suit (well, of course, she herself only wore black and green), adjusted it, and expressed her Highest approval of my tastes and style.
The helicopter arrived about 5 minutes later, attracting the attention of the entire neighborhood. It's a good thing Fred and his family were relaxing somewhere again. I'm sure he would have asked for a ride. All my luggage was shrunk for the next couple of dozen hours with the help of my weapon (which I had not yet used for its intended purpose, yeah), so we quickly got in and flew to our destination. I was fidgeting impatiently in the seat, and so was Shego, although she tried not to show it, and I was already imagining where I would put what.
We flew for about three hours, seeing the impressive castle on the approach. More precisely, on closer inspection, it looked more like a tower. There were not many ground-level rooms and structures, but that was even a good thing. Of course, it would not be difficult for the heroes to get into the tower, but any obstacles and complications on their way are a good thing for me. Do something nasty - and your heart is happy, heh-heh. We landed on the helipad, where we were already expected. I mentally noted to either move the helipad or to stick it with an air defense system with a friend-or-foe recognition system.
On the helipad, we were met by: a lanky elderly butler with a thick, long mustache that reached the middle of his neck; a man in his forties with the appearance of a true Aryan and an inconspicuous girl with a tablet, who was, apparently, his secretary. The first one was obviously Norman Adams, whom I hired. As we approached, he bowed respectfully, placing his right hand on his chest. The blond man held out his hand and addressed us loudly to be heard over the sounds of the landing helicopter.
— Greetings, Doctor Lipsky! — I shook the outstretched hand, but waited for the helicopter to quiet down and greeted him back.
— You can call me Mr. Clark. I am the head of a construction company under the patronage of the League of Evil. I am responsible for the construction, repair, and restoration of objects, as well as dealing with many territorial issues and landscape design, — he winked so clearly at the last words that I was absolutely convinced that in this very landscape he was making traps and secret passages. It's better to have a good relationship with such a person.
— Very nice to meet you, Mr. Clark! Well, show us our future Abode of Evil and Chaos, the Source of Strife and the Lair of a Mad Scientist! — at the last word, I was indignantly nudged with an elbow from the side, — And his Treacherous Assistant, of course!
— With pleasure! — the Aryan broke into a smile, — I have to admit, it's one of the most interesting objects recently. Not the most original or complex of those I've dealt with, but very promising. Let's go!
We followed him, Norman and the secretary fell in at the end, and Mr. Clark began his story.
— So, for now, we have not dealt with the installation of villainous traps, but have simply put this place in order. In addition to the tower itself, there are living quarters below, where we have provided living spaces for your minions. Heating, electricity, and sewage have been installed everywhere. We also installed megaphones there so that you can royally yell and give orders to your subordinates right from the tower at any time of the day, — at his words, Shego nodded importantly, clearly approving of this approach.
— Next, the utility, technical, and staff rooms are separated. The kitchen, storerooms, and inventory rooms, as well as recreational rooms for your wor... servants, — he quickly corrected himself, — as well as some of the testing grounds are located above ground. The generator rooms, electrical panels, ventilation, pump station — everything that is important for the base's provision is hidden underground. The slippery heroes, of course, will still get in there, but they will have to work hard. Unfortunately, vulnerable spots remain. And, alas, not only for technical reasons, — he spread his hands apologetically. I agree with him here, in this world villains play by the rules. But if you want, you can use it: it is obvious that if there is a vulnerability, it will be exploited, — the shaft of the elevator we installed for your convenience and the ventilation. You can install grilles in the latter, but they will most likely still be broken or sawed off, and then we will have to restore them. You can install laser protection, but they are in high demand now, so it will cost a pretty penny.
I was more and more impressed with Mr. Clark's professionalism. In front of me was a kind of perfectionist-fortifier who wanted to bring everything to the absolute, but was limited by the stupid laws of physics, space, and the no less foolish rules of the good-evil confrontation. And despite this, he still managed to leave the bare minimum of holes.
— All the windows in the tower are made of armored glass, in the living quarters - of ordinary glass. We did not do soundproofing; if the detection systems fail, good old hearing can help. The tower itself has 5 floors, which you are free to arrange as you wish.
We were just approaching the top of the tower, having already inspected all the rooms and discussed the location of the rooms in detail. Norman was assigned the first floor, Shego took the second, and I settled on the third. I planned to make the fourth and fifth floors into workshops and laboratories for now. The only thing is, I'll have to lower the inventions to the testing grounds with the help of the anti-gravity device or make a special freight elevator.
— We'll set up a relaxation area here, — Shego suddenly announced, looking around. And the place was really beautiful; from a height it was especially visible. The rocky shore and sandy beach abruptly turned into the azure of the sea, which was visible in almost all directions to the horizon. In the east, far away, you could see the coastline. I, in principle, agreed with her. We'll put some lounge chairs here, maybe a pool... I immediately remembered Fred, which made me shudder.
— I agree with you, Shego, the place is really picturesque.
— Well, then you make yourselves at home here, I still need to fly for some documents, I will return tomorrow, and if you need anything, we will discuss everything tomorrow, — Clark interrupted our dreamy mood, again holding out his hand to me, — It was a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Lipsky. See you later.
— Likewise, Mr. Clark, I look forward to a fruitful collaboration in the future, — I shook his hand and returned to my assistants. It was time to get to know the butler. But he anticipated me, as if he was only waiting for an opportunity.
— Greetings, sir, — he bowed again, pressing his hand to his chest, — As you already know, my name is Norman Adams, and I will be your butler. If necessary, I will take care of the household, provision, and security. I am trained to meet both invited and uninvited guests.
— Hello, Norman. I rely on your professionalism. This is Shego, — I pointed my hand at my assistant. She, in response, nodded regally, — my first assistant. And please, don't be so formal.
— As you say, sir, — he bowed humbly. I don't know if it was an obsession of the forces that put me here, or my brilliant mind told me, but I understood who was in front of me. A skillful old master of trolling, who jokes and talks with the same unwavering face. And who surrounds me? The prickly Shego, whom I can at least "read," even though I'm a complete amateur at it. And Norman, whose words can be both a joke or a jab, and the pure truth.
— Then it's better to use the more neutral "master."
— As you command, master, — he bowed again, accepting the command. But I decided to show him who is the master of stunning people here! And even though the old vampire won, I'll definitely get my revenge on this troll!
— By the way, Norman. I have a task for you! — I enthusiastically raised my finger up, and Shego understood that the brain-picking was about to begin.
— I am listening to your instructions, master.
— Do we have some kind of budget, besides what's in my pocket?
— Indeed, master. The League has allocated us half a million dollars as initial capital. Depending on the results, they will send either a larger or a smaller amount each month. You are free to spend it as you wish, but I dare to remind you that most of the equipment can be purchased with Evil Points, which are also credited to you by the League.
— Is that so... Then listen to my command: go to the factories that produce ice cube molds, — at these words, Shego again took a facepalm pose, — and buy as many as you can, say, for half of our budget.
— ... — The old troll's face did not change at all, but I physically felt that victory was mine in this round, — As you command, master. But may I know why?
— Oh, my friend, thanks to them, we will soon become the New Aristocracy! — I pompously straightened my lab coat, which served as a cloak, and spread my hands out. Damn it, how much I love to shock the public! And the image of a crazy scientist perfectly justifies my actions.
— Understood. Then I will go immediately, — it was clear that he didn't understand anything, but he still bowed to carry out the order.
Still, in addition to hooliganism, I decided to replenish our pockets a little. Maybe I'm not obligated to pay bonuses, but who doesn't love them, right? So the money raised from the future sales due to the shortage will be just right. And I'll even hold an auction for each one! I involuntarily laughed. Shego had already retreated downstairs so that her brain wouldn't be eaten out, so no one heard this villainous laughter.
I might have even bought an ice cream factory. But I don't have enough money. And so we will disrupt the production technologies of the necessary goods, and we will profit from the shortage. Damn, I can already imagine the heroes' remarks when they come to punish the evil genius, to take away... ice cube molds. And how will they transport them all out of here, if they win? As far as I know, not many of them are known for their foresight.
And for now, I need to get settled and work out the details of the plan. And it wouldn't hurt to think about the traps, as well as villainous lines. After all, a Villain is not only a manager or a scientist, but also an actor. Often, for only one viewer. But the Earth is full of rumors.