Shego was riding the train and thinking. In the past, after gaining superpowers from a fallen meteorite, she and her brothers, Hego, Mego, and Wego (oh yes, their parents had a terrible imagination), founded the superhero team "GO." However, unlike her empty-headed brothers, who dreamed exclusively of fame, she was full of ambition and desires. And unlike those blockheads, she had even graduated from university. Even if she was a useless philologist, she still did.
Over time, this heroic charade began to bore her more and more, while the villains they fought as their calling did the opposite. Many of them were not very different from her brothers. But they were ready to change the world. Even if it was in such peculiar, and sometimes even vandalistic, ways. There was more than enough money in her family, but she was an incredible spendthrift. What girl doesn't love shopping? She didn't even notice how she began to openly sympathize with the villains and move further away from the team. And the girl, who was already sharp-tongued and malicious, gradually moved from teasing her brothers to openly painful jabs. And although she would probably never tell anyone about it, she really regretted it. Her brothers were idiots, but they were her own idiots, her family.
At some point, this internal confrontation reached its climax. Perhaps that moment was when she found a computer with various data from the League of Evil at another villain's lair. She was so surprised back then. The Organization of Heroes (seriously, couldn't they come up with something better?) paled in comparison to the League. Free health insurance? The best for the worst. In the case of work-related (and a lot can be characterized as such in a villain's profession) injuries, the insurance covers any treatment. What, a traumatic amputation? Then there is experimental treatment from mad scientists: prosthetics, cloning of organs and limbs, and much more. Material support? As long as you are useful to the League, any whim can be fulfilled if you have the proper reputation. Do you want to get another degree? No problem: various advanced training courses, master classes from geniuses of all kinds of mental disorders, and manuals and textbooks will be provided to you without any problems. And if you want a diploma for a peaceful role? Of course! Not all villains are ready to fully dedicate themselves to evil. Just complete the course using the provided textbooks, and the League will arrange everything; you just need to pass the exam and get your certificate. The damned heroes trashed your base and broke your equipment? No problem, specialists of all kinds will fix it for free. However, again, only if you are an active member of the League, and the heroes really did trash it. Did you break it yourself or did your stupid minions? Well, we'll fix it, but you'll have to pay.
And what about the Organization of Heroes? It only caused burning anger. Insurance? Please pay 10% of your monthly income from rewards. And even so, it doesn't cover everything. Education? A hero must always be ready; if you want to get an education, temporarily suspend your heroic activities. Did you break inventory, transport, ammunition, or equipment during a fight with villains? Well, let's calculate the amount for repairs. And so, damn it, with everything!
Shego twitched her cheek in annoyance. And with such an attitude, how are there more heroes? Stagnant thinking. Look at the world around you, and you will understand everything. Only a few of them are willing to even commit the slightest hooliganism. And something on a larger scale is completely unthinkable. Of course, this did not negate the fact that countries had armies and police, and there were wars in the past. But neither of those structures was particularly funded. It is now 2004, and there have been no wars for a little more than a century. And all the bellicosity has been replaced by some kind of rainbow snot.
Because of her heroic past, the path to becoming a main villain was closed to her. However, surprisingly, the League still agreed to accept her resume for the position of Right-hand. It was offensive, but fair. However, despite her wide range of skills, no one had shown interest in her resume for four months. "Former hero" is a stigma, and that says it all. What normal villain would take someone who used to punch them in the face as their second-in-command, their deputy? Well, she thought that no one would. The unexpected phone call from the League yesterday surprised and even pleased her a lot. Because she was running out of money. She had to be a thief, by the way, a rather famous and promising one in certain circles. And since they took her, now the League would be forced to pay her.
As for her boss himself, everything was not so clear. She had serious doubts about his sanity (although all heroes and villains were out of this world, but this one, it seemed, was the most special among them), but the League recommended him as a promising newcomer. A Doctor of Physical and Mathematical Sciences, Drew Theodore P. Lipsky, who at one time published many articles on radiation. He had several patented inventions, which, although outdated now, are still used in some places. It was not entirely clear why he had turned to the slippery slope, but she had her guesses. Probably, the fools, who were not deprived of power, simply could not appreciate his ideas, or everything was much more prosaic, and he was just a lunatic with great pride.
She arrived in the city of Missoula, Montana. It was not the largest city, but rather a large village, slowly mutating into a town. After checking into a local hotel and dropping off her things, she immediately went to the specified address. She was met by a completely ordinary house, nothing like the refuge of a mad genius. To the right of the house, a neighbor had been chasing a poodle puppy running in circles for about five minutes, and his family stood and laughed. In general, it was a normal scene for this world, which did not inspire any optimism at all.
She went up the porch and pressed the doorbell. And again, there was no evil laughter like the ones she had seen from other villains, but a regular annoying trill. A minute later, the door was opened by a man in his thirties, tall and broad-shouldered, but completely fragile in everything else. Black shaggy hair, a scar under his eye... And for some reason he was blue. However, it was not for her, who got superpowers from a meteorite, which made her skin a slightly greenish, barely distinguishable shade, to talk about it.
— Miss Shego? — he looked at her with a serious and even suspicious gaze. In combination with the bags under his eyes and the scar under his left one, this look seemed unfriendly and even oppressive. It was unusual for the always smiling people and many other villains.
— Are you expecting someone else? Or do villains get visitors every day and get invited to picnics? — and although she didn't want to be rude to the only person who took her in, the words slipped out on their own. After all, it was part of her character. At this, he winced unpleasantly.
— Honestly, yes. They do get visitors, — he looked in the direction of his neighbor, who was still chasing the puppy, and sighed wearily, — All right, come in.
He stepped aside and gestured for her to come inside, kindly closing the door behind her. However, when she tried to walk further down the hall with her shoes on, someone coughed from behind, attracting her attention. Indeed, all the shoes were in the hallway, and the owner of the house was holding out a pair of slippers to her. She took off her shoes and put on the ones she was given. The decor of the dwelling itself was minimalistic. No paintings, carved dressers, or nightstands. The furniture in the living room also looked simple.
— Have a seat. Tea, coffee? — he gestured to the sofa, and he himself went towards the kitchen, which was combined with the living room.
— Thank you, coffee, please, — he nodded and began to pour coffee into a cezve, putting the kettle on the stove. When all the preparations were done, he handed her a mug of coffee, and he himself, with a similar mug from which a pleasant herbal aroma emanated, sat down opposite Shego. They both took the first sip, and he stared at her again with his heavy gaze.
— Well, shall we talk?
***
— Well, shall we talk?
And yet, a photograph cannot fully convey a person's image. Shego was dazzling. The green-and-black dress went well with her hair the color of a starless night and her emerald eyes, and her pale porcelain skin, on the contrary, contrasted well, creating a unique look. She had a slender figure, obviously very athletic, but not overly muscular. Although, if you looked closely, her skin had a slightly unhealthy greenish tint, which I might have overlooked if the light in the room wasn't on. Although it's not for me to talk, I'm blue.
Yesterday I had to quickly clean up the house, because even though Shego is a subordinate, she is still a girl, and the first impression is always important. So I had to become a knight of the broom and vacuum cleaner. The cleaning took a surprisingly long time, especially the floors. Damned Americans with their custom of wearing shoes inside the house. And why do they want to spread dirt everywhere? They can even flop on the sofa or bed in them. Unthinkable. I tidied up the kitchen, discovering that the dishes were a set for only two people. Apparently, someone did occasionally visit Drew. In the cupboard, I found some coffee supplies, which, by the way, I was never a fan of. Well, there was tea too. One modest package. Obviously, for that very guest for whom there was a second set of dishes. There was no food in the refrigerator either, only cereal. I had to go to the store to do some shopping, because the "relocation" was worth celebrating. At least with delicious food. In the store, by the way, I discovered interesting conventions of the new world. The only alcoholic beverages here were either wine with champagne or beer. All other drinks were non-alcoholic or non-alcoholic versions of the ones already listed. Moreover, the non-alcoholic ones were wildly popular: before my eyes, one guy took a whole box of non-alcoholic beer, and a little later, a girl took non-alcoholic wine. What's important is that neither of them even looked in the direction of the alcoholic drinks! It's possible, of course, that in this world they don't differ in taste, but I wanted something familiar. So I took a symbolic single can to celebrate. The bags, by the way, were paper. For the sake of the environment. In my wallet, I found three hundred dollars and a checkbook.
In the morning, I put on the tidiest clothes I could find. Beige pants, a white shirt that I had to iron beforehand, and a lab coat, because it's about the Look! I can't forget about the look, it's important for a villain. As is the first impression. And while I was waiting for the guest, I started reading the physics literature I found while cleaning. The pages were easy to read, despite the abstruse formulas, awakening knowledge with a slight migraine.
Shego arrived closer to the afternoon. During this time, I managed to skim and refresh a little less than a quarter of all the books and manuals. I even fell into a stupor when I saw her. She, it seems, also did not expect to see a blue person and immediately responded with a barb. Although this may just be a trait of her character. Something about that was in the resume, I think.
— So what are we going to talk about, Doc? — she snorted and crossed one leg over the other. Yeah, she's definitely a real sharp tongue.
— Since you immediately switched to informal communication, I will follow your example, Shego, — I tried to smile politely, but apparently it didn't turn out to be very friendly. Because Shego immediately squinted and impatiently tapped her fingers on the mug, — and I wanted to talk about you. What motivated a hero to defect to the side of evil?
She sighed heavily and began to tell her story. To be honest, I had no idea how lucky I was with my assistant. One of the few representatives of humanity who has a healthy cynicism and knows how to make a pointed remark. Of course, everyone around considered her a notorious scold and a boor, but, in my opinion, it could have been worse.
— Tell me, what are we going to do, Doc? — my superficial thoughts were interrupted by a question. A rather unexpected one, by the way. Because I hadn't thought of anything yet. But I can't break the Look! And so I tried to look at her with a challenge. In response, she just fidgeted on the sofa and smiled cunningly.
— Well, Shego, the League is currently restoring our future base, so it's too early to plan anything before we move, but I already have a couple of ideas in mind.
— Restoring? — she looked at me suspiciously.
— Yes. It's a castle on a deserted island. But a lot more needs to be done there, — at my words, her eyes lit up with a joyful or greedy sparkle, I couldn't tell.
— Really? We're going to live in a castle? — heh-heh, it seems I wasn't the only one who dreamed of a castle and an island, — Show me?
— Well, there's nothing secret about it, the heroes will find out about it sooner or later anyway. Just a moment, — I went to get the League computer, on which I opened the description of our future base with attached photos, — here, take a look.
Shego greedily grabbed the laptop, literally devouring the information with her eyes. Heh-heh, she looked so cute. A little dragon who found a mountain of gold and had already mentally appropriated it. When she looked up at me with her emeralds and noticed that I was watching, she was briefly embarrassed, her cheeks turning pink. And then she immediately pulled herself together, returning to the look of an independent bitch. I think that type is called a tsundere?
— Excellent choice, Doc, it suits us, — she gave me her royal consent and approval. Although I was her boss and could not care less about her opinion. But I was still pleased.
— Thank you, Shego.
— And what will we do after we move in, Doc? — she took a sip from her mug, while examining the nails on her left hand. The manicure, by the way, was also green.
— Oh, you have no idea what kind of evil we will commit! — she looked at me with interest and leaned forward slightly. Okay, hold the pause, create tension. I even raised my index finger for effect. Now I just have to not laugh — It's summer right now, right? And what do people love most in the summer?
Shego was blinking in confusion, looking at the unperturbed me. But she quickly collected her thoughts and answered with a lack of understanding.
— Something... uh... cold?
— Exactly! — I suddenly shouted and jumped up. Shego even flinched in surprise. I began to pace the room, with my hands clasped behind my back, — As you know, there's nothing better in the summer than a glass of cold cola with ice and ice cream.
— Doc... are you going to break all the refrigerators? — Shego suddenly interrupted me, looking at me like I was an idiot. Although, why "like"?
— No, Shego. If we break all the refrigerators, global logistics will suffer, and as a result, the economy will also be badly affected. A lot of exported and imported food products, reagents, and other goods require strict temperature regimes or conditions. What will you do if a week after our prank you can't buy any fruit in the store? — it seems she hadn't thought about this. However, she still answered with a challenge.
— If I need to, I'll buy local ones. And besides, Doc, you're a villain, aren't you? What the hell do you need with these cursed refrigerators?!
— Not refrigerators. Shego, first of all, no one likes upstarts. Especially heroes. If after our first deed we are branded as especially dangerous villains, a whole horde of heroes will flock to us. They will crush us with numbers, and at a time when we are not even ready yet. Secondly, the public needs to be prepared gradually. First, there should be an introduction and a beginning, and only then a climax! — in her eyes, understanding and realization slowly began to appear, but her face still looked dissatisfied, — Besides, despite all our villainous desires, only the most experienced and rich villains will be able to defend themselves if all countries turn against them. Just imagine that in between the heroes' attacks, we will also be bombed by all the affected states and their allies. We are a dangerous element. No one breaks certain boundaries, Shego. It's not profitable and it's dangerous.
In response, she just nodded and stared into space, obviously thinking about what she had heard. It seems that some ideas did not come to her mind, although they are on the surface of a villain's life. Touched by her thoughtful face, I took another book from the stack next to the table. She needs to process everything. And I will spend the time usefully. I really need to start small.
In the same place, 10 minutes later
— And... how are we going to... um... take away people's cola with ice and ice cream? — it seems she was still putting the picture of the world together, answering without her usual barbs.
— Oh, I'm glad you asked! — I jumped up again, filled with enthusiasm, though not as unexpectedly as before, — We will disrupt the production chains of ice cream and ice cube trays!
— ... — she was silent. I was also silent, but with a stupid and smug smile on my face. I said, don't laugh! I'm a mad genius, — But won't people still be able to make ice, for example, by freezing a bowl of water?
— You underestimate human laziness, my faithful minion! Who will find it convenient to pour, then freeze, then chip? No, well, if you want to, you can do even more. But this way, one moment, and there are no ice cube trays or ice cream! — it seems she was able to control herself, and returned to her former unperturbed look.
— There are ice cube molds, — she said slyly.
—... — Yeah, I didn't think about that. But I have to keep the Look! — Don't get smart, Shego. Did you have ice cube molds at home? Almost everyone uses trays. And let those molds remain. Let those who have them be the Chosen Ones! — I was getting more and more excited, coming up with a logical explanation for my insane prank, — People will start to worship them, beg them, fight for their attention! This will be the new aristocracy of ice and cold!
— I don't even know what to say, — she sat in the world-famous facepalm pose. I cleared my throat, regaining my sanity.
— By the way, remind me to buy some ice cube molds before we start creating chaos.
After this conversation, I made us some pancakes, which Shego ate with pleasure. Moreover, she intended to fight for the last pancake, but I calmed her down and gave in, saying that I could make more. She, with the air of a queen, demanded seconds, as if she was doing me a favor by having the Great Her eat my cooking. But her look was the opposite, like a puppy begging for food. I could only smile and make more.
After a simple lunch, she left on business, thanking me for the meal. Apparently, she wanted to rest from the road here, and also to take a walk, form an opinion about me, about the situation. And I didn't get in her way, only asking if she needed me to walk her out. For which I was immediately rewarded with such an indignant and surprised look from a heroine and a martial arts master. Stupid? There is that, but the mentality of the transmigrator did not allow me to not do it. And in general, I must maintain the Look.
***
Shego was walking down the street and admiring the surrounding town. Charming in its simplicity and quietness, it was so different from the big cities. Especially from the city of GO. It was a metropolis with a port. The city where she grew up. Now, a different side of life was revealed to her. Such quiet and unhurried towns. But her mind was only partially occupied with this admiration. Her new boss prevailed in them. What can be said about him? A weirdo. About the same as the other heroes and villains. The same as her. However, he was smart, charismatic, polite, and hospitable. He knew how to stun with his actions, ideas, and thoughts.
She always wondered why villains tried to act on the smallest scale possible. Why they didn't want more. She understood that managing a conquered world was a huge headache. And mad geniuses and scientists who wanted recognition didn't need it. Only recognition and solitude. A place where they could create freely. But there were others. Tyrants who craved power. Manipulators, liars, and many others. But the words of Doctor Lipsky, whom she only called that in her thoughts with respect and great gratitude for the job (and a little for the pancakes, they were amazing). She panicked at his very first look, immediately resorting to barbs, which she was still terribly ashamed of. She wanted to apologize, but she couldn't, once again provoking him. And she didn't expect Doctor Lipsky to treat her to coffee first. She thought he would try to boss her around, to enforce discipline. At least it was like that with the heroes. If you didn't respect him, didn't praise him, he could get offended. And he would charge you three times as much for his services.
She even got bold out of surprise and started to be overly familiar, which she was terribly worried about. But Doctor Lipsky didn't mind. Still, despite his professional activities, he was a pleasant person. Until he was filled with enthusiasm. Then he looked like a fanatic. However, he pleasantly surprised her. And she liked him. Of course, if he got rid of the blueness and got a little more in shape, he would be an almost perfect man, at least for her taste. The job promised to be interesting.