I stretched my neck as I took a sip of my coffee. It was 9 in the morning, my day off. I wanted to spend my day with my boyfriend… well ex boyfriend. That bastard…
Just thinking about it made my blood boil with rage. I can't believe it. How he could do that to me. I loved him a lot. We were happy.
So, from where did things started go wrong. I had no idea. One thing was clear, I'm in no way hell going back to that bastard.
I sighed as I took another sip from my coffee. I was sitting in the living room on sofa while watching a kdrama. I cried along with the female lead. She was cheated too.
I winced when I accidentally twisted my neck. It hurts. I slept at the doorway last night. So, of course I'm all sore now.
Seriously, if he was gonna do that, why did he proposed me? He even gave me so many expensive things. Was he frustrated since we hadn't been doing it due to shifts?
If that was a case… That fucking piece of shit. Go die. I hope that dick of yours that you are so proud, become useless.
I dramatically sobbed along the female lead when my phone dinged, a notification popped up. It was from him.
I hadn't replied to him since morning but that stubborn and selfish asshole just can't take a hint that I don't want to him. He cheated on me. The least he could do was to give me some space and time to process things.
I glared at the phone before going back to watching the drama. That stubborn piece of shit kept messaging and now he was even calling me. I gritted my teeth before picking my phone. I cut the call and send him lots of curses before blocking him.
Even if I'm acting so chill, it still didn't ignore the fact that I was cheated. Thank god, it was day off. It gave me some time to think about it.
I'm already feeling so frustrated. My eyes landed on the cake I bought yesterday on the table. The shape was already bad but now thinking about it why I bought it made me furious.
I bit my lips before grabbing a fork and taking a small bite of the cake. My voice cracked as another session of crying started. There are so many things, so many memories in this room, and the whole house.
We're these memories that I shared were of no worth? Was it always one sided? Was I the only one who was serious with him? If he loved me when did his feelings changed? Or the feelings were never involved?
I sobbed, my heart was shattered just thinking about the image of last night. He was with someone else. Making love with someone else in the same house we shared memories. In the same bed he made love with me.
I was feeling so disgusted and worthless. I tried to stop the cries, wiping my tears. It's okay. It's okay. Calm down! I got cheated, so what! Everyone gone through this, nowadays. I'm no special.
I tried to relax myself. Take a deep breath.
1… it's okay.
2… good, Lina.
3… good!
I took three long breaths. I exhaled heavily when it was third before again breaking into tears.
The pain in my chest was unbearable. I clutched my chest. There was no one here. I was alone now.
He was my safe place. My everything. My world. He was the first person in my life that I could call mine. Someone who was my own and now…
I kept crying until my eyes couldn't shed tears anymore. I got up and went to my bedroom. Just as I entered, the images from last night appeared. I felt a lump in my throat.
It was clean now. New bedsheets. New blanket. Everything was clean. After waking up, the first thing I did was cleaning the whole house. I didn't wanted to have any trace of that woman.
I will get rid of his things later. I didn't have the energy for it now. The only thing I was relieved that I didn't moved to his place.
He kept whining about it, but when I told him that I will move in after marriage, he decided why not move in with me till our marriage.
Shit! I was thinking about him. Well… this place is filled with his traces. Everything would remind me of him.
To think he was such clingy always saying that he wanted to be with me while cheating behind my back. When people love makes you blind… they were right.
I was fucking colour blind and couldn't see the red flags he was waving. But I somehow got a lesson and another reason for supporting abortions. He was a perfect ad for contraceptives.
I picked the framed picture of him and I smiling. We were happy. I smiled as a single left my eye. I kept staring at it. When I realised I was about to cry again I placed it back at its previous place.
I opened the wardrobe and pulled out sage coloured dress with straps. I went to the bathroom to get shower.
I decided instead of destroying my mental health over that bastard, I should go and buy some groceries. There was nothing in the fridge this morning when I wanted opened it for breakfast, the reason why I had to eat that cake.
After taking a shower and got dressed I took my purse and left the apartment not before taking the car keys. He might have cheated but I'm not going to return the gifts he had given. It was his loss.
He shouldn't have cheated on me in the first place. And even if he did he shouldn't have given these gifts.
I will enjoy myself with all things he had given me and if he asked I will just kick him out that he shouldn't have done that to me. If he tried to force me, I'm a woman. I know how to play a woman card.
I will fucking destroy that bastard. Now, whenever I think about him, it just me ended up cursing at him.
I walked out of the building when straight to my car. Yes! My car.
I drove and put a sad song similar to my mood. Who would have thought there would be the day I would go out to buy groceries in a sad mood.
The should buy some spicy foods so I can hide my tears.
… I'm losing my mind. Haha!