Gu Xiaoqing mechanically opened her eyes, blinking for a long time before she understood everything in front of her.
This wasn't the courtyard with mud walls of her family back then, and the fence not far away wasn't where she had raised chickens and ducks for many years.
Even the familiar corn and chili strings under the eaves on the wall were exactly as they had been years ago.
What is this?
Looking at herself, she was leaning sideways on a bench against the wall, which should only have three legs, relying entirely on the wall for support to sit stably, otherwise, she would fall.
In front of her was a courtyard piled full of earthen corn stalks, their golden color making her feel dizzy, sitting alone in the corner, holding an iron bar for shelling corn kernels. Others used screwdrivers and would not need this.
This was prone to injuring the hand.
Gu Xiaoqing couldn't understand how she returned to this time.
Everything had been so clear, she was covered in blood, fainted on the ground, beneath her was a large pool of fresh blood and gradually fading life. The only thing Gu Xiaoqing remembered in the black coma was, at the moment when her heart sent forth the vicious voice still crazily squealing in her ear: "You wretched woman, you're asking to die, not giving me money, I'll beat you to death, you're all mine, the money you earn, of course, is mine, you'd still dare to talk back, what are you? Even if I beat you to death, no one would dare say anything. Hitting one's own wife, who dares manage."
What followed was the overwhelming pain and choking of the chest deeply submerged Gu Xiaoqing's consciousness.
Now with her eyes open, she was in her family's courtyard; she had not returned for over ten years since marrying Fu Guoqiang, she hadn't had a single day of peace. If not raising chickens and ducks, pigs, then having to go out to work and earn money, because, she had a husband addicted to gambling.
A husband who only asked for money upon returning home, if she dared complain, it would result in a beating.
Like in a previous lifetime, Gu Xiaoqing and her parents were the same, weak and timid, fearful yet lacking the courage to resist, believing in the creed that the husband is their sky.
Therefore, Gu Xiaoqing never dared to hide a dime, nor dared to visit her parents, even though they were only two villages away.
Because Gu Xiaoqing absolutely did not have the capacity to bear such consequences, when Fu Guoqiang yelled, saying that if she dared steal money and give it to her parents, he would kill her whole family, Gu Xiaoqing was frightened.
Even if she had more courage, she wouldn't dare do this.
Now thinking about it, Gu Xiaoqing thought she was really stupid.
Her parents lived a lifetime of weakness, bullied by second and third uncles and aunts, exploited by Grandma, while she, her sister, and even her brother suffered because of the family's cowardice.
She died so tragically in a past life, was it not of her own doing?
If a person cannot stand up, cannot rise, how can one expect others to help? A neighbor once advised her to divorce, a woman without children, living like a slave working everywhere to earn money to support a lazy gambler, for what?
But she didn't dare, always afraid of Fu Guoqiang's tyranny, resulting in being beaten to death.
Was this not deserved?
If you yourself do not want to live, how can others help you?
Therefore, Gu Xiaoqing looked at the full courtyard of corn, mocked herself, laughing louder and louder, increasingly out of control, until finally collapsing with her head on her knees, weeping bitterly.
The streaming tears, the tears venting the frustration within, drowned Gu Xiaoqing.
This lifetime, this life, she must stand up, not only herself but also support her family.
Her whole family has hands and feet, all laborious and honest, good and dutiful people, there's no reason to live as such cowards this past life.
If it weren't for them always thinking they are inferior, always feeling they should be kinder to others, always under Grandma's constant uproar, compromise and retreat, their lives wouldn't have been like that.
What was wrong with their family?
Nothing.
Then to change everything, first, you must change, to strive for self-reliance.
Gu Xiaoqing dried her tears, yes, only then would they be different from the past life.
She must firmly lead her parents, siblings well, and live this life better.
Let those who wish to drink their blood, eat their flesh, all stand aside.
This time, no one will bully us, no one will profit from us, no one will make us live miserably.
Gu Xiaoqing forcefully stabbed the iron strip into the earthen corn stalk, leaving a deep groove, quickly dealing with the two in her hands.
This courtyard of corn is their family's harvest this year, originally the past few days had been sunny, if it were her parents plus her sister and herself, they would have cleaned them up long ago.
But Grandma insisted her parents help second uncle and aunt's corn harvest, saying second uncle and aunt had to go to the city to deliver tuition to Gu Xiaocheng, saying Gu Xiaocheng's college living expenses were gone.
Actually, even a fool knows it's an excuse, why not send later or earlier, but during autumn harvest? Besides, a college tuition is taken at enrollment, at that time Grandma had personally brought second uncle and aunt to borrow twenty yuan from us to gather.
They agreed that they would return it after spring sowing, yet it's autumn harvest, and the couple hasn't mentioned repayment.
Over the years, second uncle and aunt have found ways to borrow numerous money and grain from Gu Xiaoqing's family, without returning once.
It's just that her pacifist parents don't mind, always saying they are family, helping one another in difficulties.
Yet, don't see what house second uncle's family lives in compared to ours.
Second uncle's family was the first in the village to build a new house, five bright brick-tiled rooms with a sturdy door, which their family didn't have.
Her family was still living in a mud hut, the straw roof swaying in wind and rain meant outside was heavy rain, inside became drizzle; pots, pans had to be everywhere, leaving nowhere stable to step on.
Even with sunshine after the rain, the house was damply moldy, food even more so, each year some would always rot from moisture.
Even Grandma and second uncle always came to their house pinching their noses looking disgusted.
Only her parents didn't think more about it.
But this time it's different; she will never let them be bullied like before.