Captain's gaze landed on no where other than the trembling young soldier on the hospital bed.Du Anrui's face was now flushed red with embarrassment,his throat dry like a desert, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and his whole body visibly shuddered under the older male's scrutinizing gaze. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
Captain Wang stepped forward taking steady steps to him,his gaze unwavering. He stopped a few inches away from the bed and grabbed a stool settling beside the bed.
"What's wrong? Why are you sweating so much?" Captain asked his deep voice filled with concern. He fished out a white handkerchief from his pocket and reached to wipe the sweat off the younger's face. Du Anrui instinctively flinched,his cheeks reddening.
"I'm fine,"he muttered dismissively.
"Okay then,"Captain Wang said understandingly, retracting his hand after he noticed how uneasy the younger seemed to be.
"I'm still feeling a little tired so I would like to take a rest ,"the younger soldier quickly made up an excuse to avoid talking about that day.
"Take a rest then. I'll tell the doctor to check on you later,"the captain said getting up.
"Thank you Captain,"Du Anrui responded politely.
When the older walked out of the room ,the young soldier let out a breath he had been holding. He didn't know for how long he would manage to avoid his boss but for now he wasn't ready to face him.
"Why didn't I just die that day?" Du Anrui groaned in exasperation .
Three days later,the young soldier was finally discharged from the military hospital. The first thing he did when he reached the dorm was to find his notebook. His heart raced as he messily shoved his clothes out of the suitcase. When he noticed the familiar black cover of his notebook,he sighed heavily, clutching the notebook protectively against his chest as if it would disappear.
He then flipped a few pages and found everything intact, the way he had left it.
"Did he not read it?" he muttered to himself, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion,"Captain must be a busy man of course he would never have time for such trivial matters,"he said convincing himself.
If only he knew, the Captain had gone through every single word in the notebookand could easily recite it like a mantra.
After making sure his treasure was untouched,he put it back in its usual spot and began folding the pile of clothes he had messily thrown out earlier.
"Have you heard? Soldiers from Chinese military camp in Country G died in a blast. Only twenty out of eighty soldiers survived. Their Captain was heavily injured and had to fly out of the country to get treated,"a soldier spoke in a lower register while chatting with his friend. The two strolled along the hallway as they made their way to their beds.
"That's tragic,"his friend replied keeping his voice low.
The barracks had strict rules when it came to military gossip. They weren't allowed to discuss and speculate on military matters without enough evidence so they could only gossip sneakily behind the authorities ' back.
******
On a warm afternoon, Captain Wang sat in his office working as usual. Sunlight streaming through the venetian blinds illuminated the room highlighting its decor.The minimalistic office featured a working desk at the center of the room with neatly arranged files on top,two leather chairs on opposite sides and a polished ,medium sized, wall mounted shelf . Books of philosophy, medicine and even military strategies were methodically stacked on the shelves, typical neat freak nature.
A soft knock on the door was discerned and Captain looked up before mumbling 'come in ' to the guest. The door creaked open and Yu Luo ,his deputy walked in.
"Captain,good afternoon"Yu Luo bowed respectfully.
"Take a seat,"Captain gestured.
"I don't understand why they're sending you to that country. You escaped death a week ago and now they are sending you to your doom,"Yu Luo grumbled.
"Calm down. We're soldiers so we were born to fight and it's our duty to protect the country,"Captain Wang spoke calmly, pacifying his friend.
The two had been friends since they joined the military. Even with their opposite personalites their bond was strong and unbreakable. While Captain was cold,calm and collected Yu Luo was the exact opposite; he was loud and impulsive - always ready to take matters into his own hands.
"You'll be the Captain here after I leave so you have to act maturely in the future,"Captain Wang said in a stern voice though there was an underlying fondness in his words.
"Are you saying I'm immature?" Yu Luo asked pretending to be offended. He was already used to his best friend's sharp tongue so he would never take his words to heart.
"Is the list of soldiers being transferred to Country G ready?" Captain Wang asked.
"Yes. I tried to get volunteers and only got three so I had to pick them randomly like you instructed,"Yu Luo informed.
"Okay. We'll address them in the morning and have them leave a day later,"Captain Wang instructed.
. ******
Mornings had never been brighter than that specific morning.
Du Anrui was occupied with personal chores. He was at the hang lines behind the dorms, flinging out his freshly laundered clothes. He closed his eyes,the aromatic scent of fabric softener filling his senses along with the gentle breeze accompanying the bright sun rays making the moment blissful. A proud smile was plastered on his cute face feeling lucky to have taken advantage of the sunlight to dry his clothes. But his moments of bliss were short lived when he suddenly recalled something; the meeting with the captain.
"Oh no!" he panicked.
He haphazardly threw the clothes on the hang lines not bothering to stretch them out well. He sprinted to the dining hall where most soldiers were gathered and Captain stood before them addressing them. He sneaked in through the backdoor and to his luck no one seemed to take note of his tardiness.
"So here's a list of soldiers that'll be joining the Chinese Military camp in Country G," Yu Luo spoke up stepping forward and read out the list .
"... Sergeant Du Anrui..."
Du Anrui felt as if soul had left his body. His body began malfunctioning,the sounds becoming muffled and he was unable to register what was being said after his name had mentioned. For timid soldiers like Du Anrui Country G was a nightmare,a death sentence.
Du Anrui knew it was inevitable to change his fate. He had heard from other soldiers that Captain and Deputy Yu were the ones who created the list. He refused to believe it was random. He was sure it was intentional. He blamed himself for confessing to Captain. His boss must have been disgusted by his feelings and chose to send him away .
Du Anrui was unable to sleep that night. He kept tossing in bed feeling restless . The following day he was still in a pensive mood feeling unlucky for what had happened in his life.
Their flight had been scheduled in the afternoon so every chosen soldier parted with belongings after bidding farewell to other comrades.
To other chosen soldiers it was a chance to protect the nation with their life but to Du Anrui it felt like being exiled from home. He hesitantly walked behind the rest and even his limbs weakened,his steps faltered when he was getting on the military truck,tears stinging his doe eyes that still held a few sparkles regardless of what he was facing.
The last thing he kept staring at were Captain's siren eyes that had been following the truck till it disappeared out of sight.