"My name is Chen Tian. I am the protagonist of that novel who, at the beginning, was first angered to death by a little fairy. After the author's family was cursed by readers, it was revised so that I was run over by a dump truck god, and then transmigrated to Marvel."
"Hmm? You ask how I know? Thanks to this guy next to me, who is also, emmm, a cheat that breaks the fourth wall."
Chen Tian pointed to the guy next to him, who was wearing a red hood and carrying two swords on his back.
"Hi, everyone, readers! Wow, holy cow, why are these readers so handsome? So beautiful? Also, Author-bro, my name is Wade Wilson. You know me, I'm Deadpool. I also know you guys like to call me Little Shit , is it pronounced like 'Ray-nold Bitch-bitch' from Ryan Reynolds? The look on Ryan Reynolds' face, like Nick Young's black man questioning face, when he said that name, cracked me up, hahaha."
Deadpool clutched his stomach and slapped his thigh, "By the way, Author-bro, was that above part your narrative style? Were you planning to describe me mysteriously? I'm telling you, you should…"
(Author's power activated! The Author frantically pressed the Delete button, erasing the memories of the protagonist and Wade about this being a novel.)
"Uh… what was I going to say?" Chen Tian looked bewildered, staring blankly at Deadpool Wade, who was equally dazed.
"I don't know either, buddy. What were we just doing? I feel like my brain has been scrambled into mush, just like when my roommate licked my xxxx. By the way, do you know my roommate? The blind old black woman, she…Woo woo woo." Wade's mouth was covered by Chen Tian, and at this moment, a vein on Chen Tian's forehead was throbbing…
This guy is too much of a chatterbox!
"By the way, what was I just saying?" Chen Tian turned to ask Miss 2B beside him.
Miss 2B seemed to have just been enveloped by some unspeakable power. Hearing Chen Tian's question, she reacted, "Ah, Master, I… I just… crashed…"
Chen Tian rubbed the back of his head, his brows slightly furrowed.
"Strange… were we talking about something important just now?"
"Master, my system just experienced an anomaly." Miss 2B gently pressed her temple, "It was like the cache was forcibly reset."
"Ha! I knew it!" Wade broke free from Chen Tian's hand, bounced into the middle of the two, and excitedly pointed at Miss 2B, "Incredible! Yorha 2B! The protagonist of NieR: Automata, the goddess of countless otaku."
"OMG," Deadpool made a pose like the figure in the famous painting The Scream, "Did our production crew buy the rights to NieR: Automata? I remember the director and investors haven't even finalized the rights for Logan yet. Ow~~"
"Bang!"
Chen Tian punched Deadpool's hood, "Shut up! Wade!"
"Ow! Bro, do you know this uniform is expensive? My uniform isn't reimbursed by the production crew…" Deadpool rubbed his head, but suddenly froze, "Wait, Miss 2B just called you Master?"
The three looked at each other, and a strange silence filled the air.
Deadpool suddenly took a nimble step back, circling Chen Tian, thoughtfully stroking his chin with his finger.
"Hey, audience friends…" He suddenly lowered his voice, slyly turning his head to speak to the air, even covering his mouth with his hand, "Look at this new character, I bet you've never seen him before." He made an exaggerated 'shush' gesture, "Quiet, don't let them find out I'm talking to you."
Miss 2B also couldn't stand Deadpool's chatter: "Master, can I eliminate this guy with abnormal brainwaves?"
Deadpool completely ignored Miss 2B and continued to whisper to the "fourth wall": "Emmm… I haven't seen this guy before…" He tilted his head, the white eye patches on his mask comically squeezed together, "Which Universe is he from? A new Marvel character? Or… wait!" He suddenly gasped, "He wouldn't be from DC, just visiting, would he?"
Chen Tian's eye twitched violently, his right hand already on the Azure Rose at his waist. Deadpool, however, agilely jumped back three steps like a startled rabbit, dramatically raising his hands.
"Hey! Calm down, bro!" Deadpool's voice suddenly became serious, the white eye patches on his mask curved into a pleasing arc, "I surrender! I give up! I promise not to speak for the next five minutes!" As he spoke, he made a motion of zipping his mouth shut.
Miss 2B's mechanical eyes glowed with dangerous red light: "Master, I recommend direct elimination. According to calculations, he has a 99.9% chance of continuing to babble in 1 second."
Deadpool immediately turned to Miss 2B, putting his hands together in a pleading gesture: "Don't be like that, Miss! Look how cute I am, it would be such a waste to kill me!"
He suddenly lowered his voice and spoke to the air wall: "Audience friends, look! This is the legendary tsundere attribute!"
Then he acted like a tsundere female character from a manga, fidgeting, "I bet she's going to say something like, 'Who, who cares about you,' next…"
"Bang!"
Chen Tian finally lost his patience, a bullet grazed Deadpool's hood, leaving a charred hole in the wall.
"Wow!" Deadpool dramatically clutched his chest, "Bro, are you serious? This uniform is a limited edition!"
He suddenly seemed to remember something and turned to the air wall: "By the way, everyone, remember to buy my merchandise on the Marvel official website! Order now and get a Thanos-themed Infinity Gauntlet… uh, wait, is that meme outdated?"
Chen Tian's temples throbbed, blue magic swirling around the Azure Rose in his hand.
Deadpool immediately took two steps back, knowing his place, and once again adopted the national standard gymnastics pose of a certain European country.
"OK! OK! I'll shut up!" He made a sealing gesture, but in less than two seconds, he couldn't resist turning to Miss 2B: "Speaking of which, Miss, your dress… uh, I mean your combat uniform is really beautiful, which designer… Ow!"
This time, Miss 2B's Pure White Pact directly struck the ground in front of Deadpool's feet, and the scattered gravel hit his mask with a crisp sound.
Deadpool finally stood still obediently, only occasionally winking at the air, his mouth moving silently under his mask, as if having an encrypted conversation with the 'audience.'
Chen Tian rubbed his temples, feeling as if his brain was being churned into mush by Deadpool's garrulous nature. "Wade," he took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to draw his gun, "How exactly did you get to this World?"
Deadpool suddenly became serious, striking a standard superhero pose with his hands on his hips: "Aha! That's a good question!" He dramatically cleared his throat, "It goes like this—"
"Keep it brief." Miss 2B's Pure White Pact was already slightly unsheathed.
"Alright, alright!" Deadpool spread his hands, "Simply put: I, the superhero Deadpool, after saving that chubby kid named Russell in Deadpool 2, conveniently stole Cable's old-fashioned time-travel watch." He made a stealing gesture, complete with a 'ding-dong' sound effect.
Chen Tian's eye twitched again: "And then?"
"And then?" Deadpool sighed and shook his head, "Then I was going to go kill that Canadian disgrace who took the Green Lantern script—don't get me wrong, I love Ryan, but that role was really terrible!" He suddenly turned to the air wall, "Right, audience? You know it!"
Miss 2B's eyes glowed with dangerous red light: "Master…"
"Wait! I'm getting to the point!" Deadpool quickly waved his hands, "Just as I was about to travel, this damn watch suddenly glitched out!" He exaggeratedly mimicked the sound of equipment malfunction, "Beep-beep—zzzt—and then I was thrown into this godforsaken place!"
Chen Tian thoughtfully stroked his chin: "So you were originally going to…"
"Kill the guy who was going to play me!" Deadpool excitedly interjected, "Stop him from taking that damn Green Lantern script!" He suddenly lowered his voice, "Seriously, that movie is Ryan's dark history…"
Chen Tian finally found the main point in such dense and rapid speech: this Deadpool came from the movie Deadpool 2: I Love My Home. Just as that movie ended, he stole Cable's time-travel watch and was performing the movie's post-credits scene when he was thrown here by a space-time anomaly.
He watched as Deadpool continued to talk to himself against the air wall: "Sorry, audience, you can leave a little later, I will definitely kill that guy."
Chen Tian sighed and turned to ask Miss 2B: "Miss 2B, have you found out what time it is here?"
Miss 2B nodded, her mechanical eyes flashing with data streams: "Master, according to the information I obtained by linking to the satellite, it is 1999 here, and the location is Sokovia."
"1999?" Chen Tian frowned slightly, "Have you tried contacting Katyusha?"
Miss 2B paused slightly, then shook her head: "Not yet."
"Try it," Chen Tian said.
Miss 2B closed her eyes, then opened them in surprise a moment later: "Contact successful. The Katyusha system confirms that we are still in your previous World, only the timeline has shifted forward a few years."
Deadpool suddenly leaned over, the white eye covers on his mask widening exaggeratedly: "Wow! What encrypted call are you guys talking about? What Katyusha? Is it that big-haired Miss who sings 'Katyusha stood on the steep bank'?"
Chen Tian slapped his thigh abruptly: "Sokovia in 1999?! Isn't that—"
"Isn't what?" Deadpool leaned in mischievously, only to have Miss 2B's blade pressed against his throat. "Uh... Miss, swords have no eyes..."
Chen Tian ignored Deadpool's antics and quickly sorted out the timeline in his mind: October 1999, the Sokovia civil war broke out, Stark Industries' missiles attacked the Maximoff family...
"Wait!" Deadpool suddenly broke free from Miss 2B's blade, waving his hands exaggeratedly, "October 1999!? That's the day the Witch Miss's family was destroyed in Avengers 2!" He made an explosion gesture, "Boom! And then they hated Tony Stark?"
Miss 2B's mechanical eyes flashed with surprise: "Master, he actually knows these things?"
"Because he's a bastard who breaks the fourth wall," Chen Tian said through gritted teeth, then his expression suddenly dawned on him, a flash in his mind of before he was brought to the past by the Time Stone's energy.
In Sokovia, the twins' attitude towards him—well, that explained it.
Chen Tian looked at Miss 2B, "Contact the Red Room and have them send out the Black Widows to rescue the civilians."
A blue light flashed in Miss 2B's eyes: "Master, I've connected to Miss Melina's encrypted channel." She paused, "Also, you can summon Vergil and the others."
"Hmm, good suggestion." Chen Tian snapped his fingers, and three rays of light flashed in the air.
Vergil, who appeared first, held Yamato, his expression softening slightly upon seeing Chen Tian: "Child, in trouble again?" He sheathed his sword, "Have we been transported to 1999?"
Dante walked out of the light, hands clasped behind his head, swaying with each step: "Yo! Big Nephew!" He slung an arm around Chen Tian's shoulder, "What big thing are we doing this time?"
Uchiha Madara appeared last, his Rinnegan scanning the battlefield before turning to Chen Tian, bowing slightly: "My Lord, do you need me to destroy this city?" His tone was as calm as if he were asking if he wanted afternoon tea.
Only then did Deadpool recover from his shock: "Holy sh*t!" He clutched his head, the white eye covers on his mask wide open, "Dante and Vergil?! The copyright for Devil May Cry was bought too?!" He suddenly turned to Uchiha Madara, his voice changing pitch: "Uchiha Madara?! The big BOSS from Naruto?!"
Miss 2B calmly reported: "Master, Miss Melina has dispatched the Alekseev Squad, expected to arrive in 30 minutes."
Vergil frowned, looking at Deadpool: "Noisy Joker." He turned to Chen Tian, "Child, do you need me to deal with this noise source?"
Dante laughed loudly, patting Chen Tian's back: "Don't mind that old-fashioned guy, Big Nephew." He winked at Deadpool, "Hey Red Suit, do you know where they sell strawberry sundaes? My treat!"
Uchiha Madara still maintained his bow, but a dangerous glint flashed in his Rinnegan: "My Lord, please allow me to clear these distractions." The Susanoo's skeleton shimmered faintly around him.
Deadpool, like a husky discovering a new toy, circled the three: "Audience, I bet you'd never guess how rich this production crew is! This level of crossover is comparable to my Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe series!"
Chen Tian rubbed his forehead helplessly: "Everyone, calm down..." He looked at the three, "Father Vergil, Uncle Dante, Uchiha Madara... We have serious business to attend to this time."
Vergil nodded slightly: "As you wish, child."
Dante grinned, giving an OK sign: "Listening to you, Big Nephew!"
Uchiha Madara slowly straightened up: "Your will is my mission, My Lord."
Deadpool watched this scene, then suddenly spoke to the fourth wall: "Wow! This family drama vibe! A strict father, a goofy uncle, and an ultimate BOSS with loyal dog attributes!" He turned to Chen Tian, "Dude, your cheat finger is too good!"
A crack finally appeared on Vergil's stern face, and Yamato drew a dark blue Arc Light in the air: "Enough."
In an instant, Deadpool's body froze in mid-air—three neat cuts suddenly appeared on his mask, followed by his entire body scattering into six pieces like building blocks, falling to the ground with a "thud."
"Wow!" Dante leaned back, dodging the splashing ketchup (don't ask why it was ketchup), "Bro, your temper is too bad!"
Uchiha Madara crossed his arms, a hint of approval flashing in his Rinnegan: "Well done."
However, Deadpool, cut into a sushi platter, was still speaking: "Hey! Audience, did you see that? This is the legendary Dimension Slash!" His head rolled half a circle on the ground, the white eye covers on his mask still blinking lively, "Though I advise underage viewers not to imitate—"
"Damn it!" Dante was so startled he almost bit his tongue, "He can talk even with his head off?!"
Deadpool's right hand suddenly wriggled and crawled towards his torso: "Brother Dante, a little help? Help me reattach my left leg, it'll take me half an hour by myself..." As he spoke, his left hand suddenly grabbed his right leg, which had rolled to Uchiha Madara's feet, "This piece is mine! No snatching!"
Vergil was a bit dumbfounded, the usually calm eldest son of Sparta's voice changing pitch: "This... is illogical..."
"My Lord." Uchiha Madara's Sharingan spun wildly, "Suggest incineration with Amaterasu." Black flames had already condensed on his fingertips.
"No, no, no!" Deadpool's torso wriggled like a caterpillar, arching to hide behind Dante, "This uniform of mine is pure cotton! If it burns, I won't have a replacement!" His head suddenly turned to Miss 2B, "Miss, did you bring a sewing kit?"
Miss 2B's mechanical eyes flashed wildly, system alerts constantly ringing: [WARNING! COGNITIVE CONFLICT] [LOGIC ERROR] [RECOMMEND RESTARTING VISUAL MODULE]
Chen Tian painfully covered his eyes: "I knew this would happen..."
Deadpool's left hand suddenly slapped the ground: "Aha! I remember now!" His right leg cooperatively kicked the air, "Brother Vergil, didn't you cut Dante like this in Devil May Cry 5? At that time he still..."
"Shut up!" In a fit of rage, Vergil unleashed another slash, this time Deadpool's fragments became twelve pieces.
"Bro, calm down!" Dante frantically caught Deadpool's flying nose (yes, it was his nose), "Can this thing even be reattached?!"
Uchiha Madara's Susanoo had already expanded its upper body, a blue giant sword aimed at the wriggling pieces of flesh all over the ground: "My Lord, please allow me to..."
"No!" Chen Tian stepped forward, blocking him, "If you use a full Susanoo, you'll blow this place up!"
Deadpool's mouth fragment was still speaking: "Actually, I think Grandpa Uchiha Madara's suggestion is good..." His eyeball rolled to Vergil's feet, "Anyway, I can't die, so why not let the audience see a full Susanoo versus Yamato? The ratings will definitely skyrocket..."
"Bang!"
Chen Tian finally pulled out his gun and shot the chattering eyeball.
The World was only quiet for three seconds; three seconds later, Deadpool's ear fragment suddenly spoke: "Hey! That was my favorite right eye!" His left hand was taking a needle and thread from his fanny pack to sew his right hand, "Later I'm going to draw a cyclops design on my mask with a marker..."
Dante silently put Rebellion back on his back, pulled out noise-canceling headphones from his four-dimensional pocket, and put them on.
Vergil directly activated Dimensional Slash - Absolute, teleporting himself to the rooftop of Sokovia City.
Uchiha Madara's Rinnegan slowly closed, taking a deep breath, "My Lord, I request to return to the summoning space."
Miss 2B suddenly raised Pure White Pact: "Master, detecting approaching combat units." Her eyes shimmered with a blue light of relief, "Suggest immediate engagement."
Deadpool's torso suddenly sprang up like a spring: "Why didn't you say so earlier!" His right hand 'slapped' his head on backward, so now the back of his mask was facing forward, "Let me use a cool combat scene to salvage my image—wait, my intestines are spilling out!"
Chen Tian looked at the Deadpool fragments crawling all over the ground, then at the combined arms combat units appearing in the distance, and suddenly showed a relieved smile: "Miss 2B, get me some noise-canceling headphones too."
[Meanwhile, on a rooftop in Sokovia City]
Vergil sat on a Water tank, holding Yamato, and sent a text message to Dante: "Tell that child I'm not coming back for now."
The phone quickly lit up with a reply:
"Bro, are you chickening out? (◐ ‿ ◑)"
"Get lost. Also, throw that red pollutant into a volcano."
"Can't do that, Big Nephew says he's an important plot character (ᗒ ᗩ ᗕ)"
Vergil silently turned off his phone, looking at the Sokovia sunset, and for the first time thought: Compared to that strange guy, Dante's noisiness is actually quite cute?
Deadpool finally pieced himself back into human form, "Audience! Next is paid content!" He struck a classic combat pose, "Watch me blow up HYDRA with my hemorrhoid gun—Ow! My stitches came undone!"
When Chen Tian pulled the trigger of Azure Rose, he suddenly felt that destroying the World didn't matter anymore.
------------------------
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(End of Chapter)