"My name is Chen Tian, and yes, I'm the Chen Tian who was hit by the Mud Head God and transmigrated to Marvel. I, transmigrated again."
"Transmigrate my ass!" Chen Tian irritably crumpled the soda can, the sound of metal deforming particularly jarring in the quiet living room.
A creaking sound came from the living room. Chen Tian turned his head to see a slender figure bending over, mopping the floor.
The person wore a dark blue long trench coat underneath, with silver-white hair standing up like steel needles. Most noticeable was the apron hanging on his chest—it prominently displayed the words "The Culinary GOAT."
The man straightened up, the mop in his hand tracing an elegant arc. He looked up, and a loving expression appeared in his blue eyes: "What's wrong, my child?"
Chen Tian's mouth twitched: "Vergil, how many times have I told you not to call me 'child'!"
Vergil, the eldest son of the Sparta family, now leaned the mop against the wall like an ordinary house husband.
"But you did inherit all of Nero's power." Vergil walked over and sat beside Chen Tian, the hem of his trench coat gently brushing the sofa. "In a way, you are my child."
Chen Tian sighed helplessly, sinking into the sofa like a deflated ball. Just then, the sofa on his other side suddenly dipped, and a slacker voice chimed in:
"My brother is right, you are—emm, what was it again?" Dante sat with his legs crossed, his red trench coat casually draped over the back of the sofa, a half-eaten slice of pizza in his hand. "Oh right, the direct descendant of the Sparta family!"
Chen Tian didn't even bother to lift his eyelids, just waved his hand weakly: "Yes, yes, Dante, you're right."
He paused, suddenly realizing something, and sat up abruptly, "Wait, where did you get that pizza? We only have a pack of frozen dumplings left in the fridge!"
Dante flashed a cunning smile, stuffing the pizza into his mouth in a few bites: "Trade secret~"
Vergil snorted, his slender fingers tapping lightly on the armrest of the sofa: "He went to 'borrow' the microwave at Haji Black convenience store again." As he spoke, his sharp gaze swept over Dante's bulging pockets, "And 'borrowed' a few packs of snacks along the way. Little Tian, you must not learn from him."
"Hey, hey, big brother!" Dante dramatically clutched his chest, putting on a wounded expression, "How can you suspect your adorable little brother like that? I paid for it!"
"With game tokens?" Vergil raised an eyebrow.
Chen Tian rolled his eyes, about to reply, when a loud 'bang' suddenly came from the kitchen. All three turned simultaneously, only to see Miss 2B standing amidst the mess, expressionlessly holding a burnt, blackened frying pan.
"Master," her voice held a hint of confusion, "According to the recipe, I precisely controlled the Fire and time."
Chen Tian looked at the black smoke rising from the kitchen and suddenly felt that the troubles brought by his inexplicable transmigration were nothing. At least now, he had a group of 'family' members who, though odd, were incredibly real.
This was a feeling he had never experienced in his previous life.
"Never mind," he stood up, taking the frying pan from Miss 2B's hand.
Chen Tian rubbed his chin, then suddenly showed a cunning smile and turned to look at Dante: "Did a family move in next door? Is the Master named Alexei?"
Dante, holding a small snack, tilted his head and thought: "Oh right, he's a Russian strongman. He even helped me move the fridge yesterday." His eyes suddenly lit up, "Wait, you're not thinking of…"
"Exactly!" Chen Tian snapped his fingers, a mischievous excitement on his face, "Come on, let's take our frozen dumplings and go 'visit' the new neighbors!"
Vergil frowned: "My child, you must not be as mischievous as your Uncle Dante."
Chen Tian waved his hand, a harmless smile on his face: "Don't worry, Vergil, we're just going to visit the neighbors and maybe mooch a meal." He winked, "And I heard they have a cute little daughter named Natasha…"
Vergil's brow furrowed even deeper at the mention, his slender fingers unconsciously pressing on the hilt of Yamato: "You're not thinking of…"
"Wow!" Dante suddenly leaped from the sofa, his red trench coat tracing a stylish arc in the air, "Go see little Natasha? That's a great idea!"
Miss 2B silently pulled out a beautifully wrapped box of candy from her apron pocket: "Master, this is my gift for the meeting."
Vergil looked at the three eager individuals before him and sighed helplessly: "At least let me boil the dumplings…"
"No need to boil!" Chen Tian and Dante shouted in unison, exchanging knowing, mischievous grins.
Dante magically pulled a bottle of vodka from under the sofa cushion: "This makes it more Russian!"
——
Yes, Chen Tian was affected by the Time Stone and returned to 1995. This was all due to Diablo's inaction—his passive response forced Sorcerer Ancient One to use the Time Stone.
The violent collision of Time energy, Dimension energy, and Purgatory energy created an uncontrollable overflow effect, directly throwing Chen Tian to this point in time.
When Chen Tian regained consciousness from the temporal turbulence and found himself in an unfamiliar time, he immediately questioned Diablo through their mental link. Upon learning the truth, an enraged Chen Tian furiously kicked the air several times (though Diablo was unharmed, he himself grimaced in pain), and also confiscated the tablet Tony had prepared for Diablo earlier, which contained tens of thousands of films and TV shows.
While assessing the situation, Chen Tian suddenly remembered an important companion still slumbering in his summoning space.
He immediately released Miss 2B from the summoning space and solemnly apologized to her. The understanding Miss 2B, after learning the whole story, quickly forgave her Master who was caught in the temporal turbulence.
Perhaps to compensate Chen Tian for his spirit and soul being disturbed by the three Dimension Demon Gods, his golden finger came into play. When Chen Tian attempted his first summon, a "Devil May Cry 5" gift package descended from the sky—not only were Middle-aged Dante and Middle-aged Vergil successfully summoned, but Chen Tian himself unexpectedly gained all of Nero's power and weapons.
This is also why Vergil and Dante treat Chen Tian as a child, unlike Diablo and Uchiha Madara who treat him as Master.
Thus, in this unfamiliar year of 1995, Chen Tian gathered a peculiar 'family' team around him: Vergil, always wearing an apron and looking at Chen Tian with loving eyes; the slacker Dante; and Chen Tian's favorite, Miss 2B.
Oh, and right, there's also Uchiha Madara. He's currently in self-isolation. Previously, he arrogantly believed his strength had surpassed Mephisto, but he never expected it was all Mephisto's scheme, which also put his Master in a difficult situation. He isolated himself, constantly cultivating in the summoning space.
Although he still responds to Chen Tian's summons, he is visibly less arrogant now.
Oh, I forgot to mention, the small Villa Chen Tian and the others are living in now is thanks to Dante. That guy transformed into a demon, disguised himself as a Devil, and scared the original owner of this small Villa, forcing the original owner to hire someone to exorcise it.
At this point, Chen Tian and Vergil appeared, and eventually, the original owner gave the house to Chen Tian.
(Anyway, the original owner was a Wall Street Vampire, so Chen Tian felt no psychological pressure about it.)
Upon arriving in this World, Chen Tian also tried to find Sorcerer Ancient One, to see if she could send him back to his original time, but for some reason, no matter how Chen Tian called Sorcerer Ancient One, she never appeared.
Chen Tian saw Sorcerer Ancient One never appeared, thinking that as soon as he got money, the first thing he would do was go to Kamar-Taj.
But... with a spendthrift like Dante around, good fortune always seemed to be far from Chen Tian....
——
Five minutes later, this strange 'visiting party' arrived grandly at the next door. Chen Tian took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
The door opened faster than expected. A burly man over two meters tall appeared at the doorway, with short golden hair, wearing a tight T-shirt, his muscles almost tearing through his clothes.
"Здравствуйте! (Hello)" Alexei greeted warmly, a heavy Russian accent wafting over, "Are you the new neighbors?"
Chen Tian gave a bright, sunny smile: "Yes, we're from next door! We heard you just moved in, so we specially came to visit." He shook the frozen dumplings in his hand, "This is a small token of our regard."
Dante timely raised the bottle of vodka, even deliberately shaking it: "I heard Russians like this?"
Alexei's eyes immediately lit up, and he laughed heartily: "Hahaha! Good wine! Good neighbors!" He clapped Dante on the shoulder, "Please, come in! My wife just made borscht!"
Vergil bowed elegantly: "Excuse the intrusion." Miss 2B silently handed over the beautifully wrapped box of candy.
As soon as the group entered the spacious living room, they heard a childish voice: "Papa, who's here?"
A blue-haired little girl peeked her head from the stairs, about 10 to 11 years old, with big, clear eyes full of curiosity.
This was definitely Black Widow Natasha Romanoff as a child!
"Natasha, come down and meet the new neighbors!" Alexei called out.
The little girl skipped down the stairs, but suddenly stopped short when she saw Chen Tian and his group, cautiously hiding behind her father. Chen Tian noticed her gaze lingered mainly on Miss 2B—evidently, Miss 2B's gentle demeanor had triggered the little Agent's wariness.
"Don't be afraid, dear." An elegant lady walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, "I'm Melina, welcome to our home."
Chen Tian almost choked on his own saliva—Melina Vostokoff! The future 'Iron Maiden'! This family was indeed the "fake family" from the Black Widow movie!
Dante had already made himself at home, sitting at the dining table: "Wow! This soup smells amazing!"
Vergil cleared his throat, signaling Dante with his eyes to mind his manners. Alexei, however, laughed and poured vodka for everyone: "Come! A toast to our new neighbors!"
As the atmosphere gradually warmed up, Chen Tian noticed Melina's gaze sweeping back and forth over them, showing particular interest in Miss 2B. Little Natasha, meanwhile, kept staring at the Yamato at Vergil's waist.
"So," Melina said with a smile, serving Chen Tian a bowl of borscht, "are you all a family? You don't quite seem like it."
Nonsense, of course not. Two middle-aged White men, a young Eastern man, and a young girl whose mixed heritage or something else was unclear.
Chen Tian was about to answer when he suddenly heard a loud "bang" from upstairs. Everyone's movements froze.
Alexei's smile stiffened on his face: "Ah... that must be Yelena being mischievous again..."
Chen Tian and Miss 2B exchanged a glance—Yelena! The future 'Second Generation Black Widow'! This family gathering was getting more and more interesting!
Just then, a blonde little girl stomped down from upstairs, huffing: "Dad! My teddy bear is gone again!"
——
In the dining room, Vergil, facing Alexei's "disguised family," was the first to speak.
"Allow me to introduce," Vergil elegantly pulled out chairs for everyone, "I am Vergil Sparta, and this is my younger brother, Dante Sparta."
Dante, with his arm around Chen Tian's shoulder, immediately straightened up and gave an exaggerated bow: "Just call me Dante!"
"This is our adopted son Nero," Vergil's slender fingers lightly tapped Chen Tian's shoulder, "and our adopted daughter Yorha." Miss 2B nodded slightly, her silver hair gleaming softly in the light.
Melina's knife and fork cut perfect angles on the dinner plate: "What a warm big family. How long have you been living here?"
"Not long, about a week longer than you all." Vergil picked up the borscht and sniffed it lightly, "The bay leaves in this soup are just right."
Alexei laughed loudly, interjecting: "My wife is a cooking expert! Come, a toast to good food!" He tilted his head back and guzzled the entire glass of vodka. Dante immediately raised his glass in response, and the two glasses clinked crisply in the air. In the instant he tilted his head to drink, Dante quickly poured the alcohol into his pocket. (Don't ask why it's a pocket, and don't ask why he's not afraid of it leaking, Dante's coat has everything in it...)
Undercurrents swirled at the dinner table. Melina's gaze drifted between Dante's soup-stained red trench coat and Vergil's immaculate attire: "Your brothers have very different personalities."
"My mother passed away early, and my younger brother was raised by me from a young age, so he lacked the guidance of elders in terms of etiquette, and it's inevitable he might be impolite." Vergil cut the black bread without changing his expression, "Dante always uses chili sauce as ketchup."
Under the table, Chen Tian stomped on Dante's foot, and Miss 2B's timely offered napkin hid the demon hunter's contorted expression.
"Miss Yorha's gloves are very special." Melina suddenly turned to the quiet girl.
Miss 2B gently stroked the seam of her glove: "Family tradition." She turned to look at the eager Yelena, "Want to see?"
The blonde little girl immediately pounced over, but gasped when she touched Miss 2B's hand: "It's cool!" Natasha cautiously took half a step back, then suddenly pointed at Miss 2B's neck: "Sister here... there's light!"
Vergil calmly put down his napkin: "My adopted son and brother were a bit rebellious and persuaded the little girl to get glow-in-the-dark tattoos."
"Super cool!" Dante suddenly pulled out a spray can, "I even have glow-in-the-dark spray here!"
Dante was about to say something when Chen Tian suddenly pointed out the window: "It's snowing!"
The first snow of 1995 fell in a flurry. Miss 2B took the opportunity to adjust her optical camouflage, while Yelena stole the meatballs from Dante's plate. When Melina turned around, she found Natasha already sitting on Miss 2B's lap, carefully combing the android's silver hair.
"Like snow..." the little girl whispered.
Miss 2B awkwardly but earnestly helped Natasha braid her hair; it was a sensation she had never experienced before.
"You two look very close." Melina's smile held a hint of inquiry.
"Blood relation is not the only bond of kinship." Vergil's blue eyes narrowed slightly, "Just like some families, seemingly perfect but hiding secrets."
Alexei suddenly slapped the table and laughed: "I like your family! Better than what we encountered in Cuba..."
Melina's dinner knife scraped sharply against the porcelain plate. Vergil elegantly wiped a soup stain from the corner of Chen Tian's mouth: "The cigars in Cuba are indeed unforgettable."
——
Back in the Sparta family's small Villa, the fire in the fireplace crackled softly. Vergil took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, his brow slightly furrowed: "That woman named Melina is not simple; she probed us at least seven times."
Dante slumped on the sofa, rubbing his empty stomach: "Come on, old man, if it weren't for our nephew suggesting we mooch a meal, we'd still be hungry now." He pointed to the empty refrigerator, "We're dirt poor right now."
Miss 2B stood quietly by the window, "Melina added a trace amount of sedative to the soup, just enough to make a normal adult feel slightly drowsy."
Chen Tian waved his hand, "That's normal. After all, a sudden visit would definitely draw their attention."
"Then why did we still go?" Miss 2B was a bit confused, tilting her head quizzically as she looked at Chen Tian.
"Because we're poor!" Chen Tian suddenly sprang up from the sofa, pointing at Dante's nose, "Ever since this guy started following us, our financial luck has been terrible!"
Dante blinked innocently, then casually dug out half a moldy donut from between the sofa cushions: "Hey, you can't blame me entirely..."
"If not you, then who?" Chen Tian counted on his fingers, "Last week, we finally won three thousand U.S. dollars at the casino. Who was it who insisted on performing 'Demon Man Swallowing Sword' and attracted the security guards?"
Vergil elegantly sipped plain White Water—the coffee had run out three days ago: "I remember that performance ended up costing five thousand U.S. dollars in repair fees."
"And the day before yesterday!" Chen Tian continued to accuse, "What did this guy buy with the eight hundred dollars Miss 2B earned at McDonald's?"
Miss 2B calmly added: "Limited edition strawberry sundae-flavored 'Offspring Kicking the Bucket' bags."
"Those are collectibles!" Dante argued righteously, stuffing the moldy donut into his mouth.
Chen Tian covered his face in agony: "Why the hell do you keep that stuff? The most outrageous thing is... that bank card we got from our fake exorcism."
"Wait!" Dante suddenly raised his hand, "There was a legitimate reason that time! That ATM machine was clearly possessed by a Demon, I saw with my own eyes the banknotes it spat out had Mephisto's face printed on them!"
Vergil sneered: "So you split it in half with Rebellion?"
"And triggered the bank's alarm system." Miss 2B added, "We were wanted city-wide for twelve hours."
The firelight from the fireplace flickered on Chen Tian's troubled face. Vergil elegantly put down his teacup—it only contained hot Water.
"So," Vergil's slender fingers lightly tapped the coffee table, producing a hollow echo, "we are now facing two problems." He held up one finger, "First, Sorcerer Ancient One is still nowhere to be found." He held up a second finger, "Second, our financial situation..." He glanced at the sheepishly smiling Dante, "is worse than Hell."
Miss 2B quietly interjected: "Just before we left Alexei's family, Melina asked me to help look after Natasha and Yelena tomorrow." Miss 2B sighed softly, "She and Alexei need to go out for something, and are willing to pay 200 dollars as compensation, and cover all expenses for the two sisters' activities throughout the day."
Chen Tian's eyes instantly lit up, "200 dollars?"
Miss 2B nodded again. Chen Tian smiled and put his arm around Miss 2B's shoulder, "What did I tell you? Our family would fall apart without Miss 2B!"
Dante also clapped, "You're the best! The most reliable person in our family!"
Vergil also started laughing.
——
In the days that followed, Miss 2B became Yelena and Natasha's most trusted "Sister Yorha."
Every morning, the girl would appear punctually at Alexei's family's door, taking the two little girls to play various games.
"Sister Yorha!" Yelena excitedly shouted, holding up a crayon, "I drew you and Natasha today!"
Miss 2B took the drawing, her pupils slightly contracting—in the drawing, a pair of wings were clearly spread behind her. Natasha quietly observed Miss 2B's reaction from the side.
Meanwhile, Dante's delivery business was a disaster. On the first day, he delivered pizza to thirty-seven wrong addresses; on the second day, he sped, causing five police cars to rear-end each other; the third day was even more extreme—he directly turned the customer's 'Hawaii-style pizza' into a real volcanic lava pizza, blowing up their kitchen.
"You can't blame me!" Dante argued indignantly, "That customer said he wanted it 'spicy enough to breathe Fire'!"
Chen Tian looked at the 3,000 U.S. dollar figure on the compensation bill, and silently pulled out Rebellion: "Vergil, hold him down."
Left with no choice, Chen Tian and Vergil could only go to Hell's Kitchen to fight in underground boxing matches. The video of Vergil elegantly defeating twelve strong men with a wooden sword went viral on the dark web, while Chen Tian was mistakenly identified as the young Master of some Eastern gang because he accidentally shouted 'Kneel before me' during a fight.
Fortunately, both of them wore masks, avoiding the prying eyes of interested parties.
"I say," Chen Tian counted the banknotes, "shouldn't we consider letting Uchiha Madara..."
"No!" Vergil flatly refused, "Last time he went to Wall Street to 'borrow' money, now the entire financial district is spreading the urban legend of the 'Red-Eyed Demon'."
Late at night, Miss 2B quietly tucked Yelena's "Angel" drawing into the fireplace. In the firelight, her silver eyelashes trembled gently—this strange 'family' made her deeply cherish this feeling.
------------------------
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(End of Chapter)