The figure groaned again, its shadow stretching long across the cracked floor.
"…Braaaains…"
Riku's heart froze. He gripped the broken desk leg tighter, every muscle screaming to run. His first night in this ruined world, and of course it wasn't a raccoon or a stray cat scratching at the door no, it had to be a zombie.
"System!" he hissed. "Please tell me I'm hallucinating."
[Scanning…]
The creature stumbled into the lantern light. Its clothes once a school uniform were ripped and stained with dirt. Its jaw hung slightly loose, wobbling when it spoke. One eye glowed faintly blue while the other rolled uselessly in its socket.
"…Excuse me… cafeteria…? Hungry…"
Riku blinked. "…Wait. Did it just—talk?"
[Classification: Zombie-Type Lifeform. Status: Polite.]
"POLITE?!"
[Correction: Semi-polite. Request for food contained 'excuse me.']
The zombie staggered closer. "Food…? Cafeteria…? Please?"
Riku's knuckles whitened on his desk-leg weapon. His brain screamed swing now, but his body froze. "W-Wait! Hold it right there, undead freak!"
The zombie paused, tilting its head, as if confused by his tone. Then it coughed yes, coughed and spat out a pebble. "Not freak. Student…?"
Riku nearly dropped his weapon. "…You're applying for ENROLLMENT?!"
[Reminder: Task chain includes recruitment of students.]
"NOT THIS KIND!"
The zombie shuffled forward another step. Riku swung wildly. The desk leg smacked into the creature's ribs with a hollow crack. It staggered back, wheezing, then looked down at the splintered wood jammed into its side.
"…Ow."
"…Ow?!" Riku shrieked. "Since when do zombies say ow?!"
[This one does. Fascinating.]
The zombie rubbed its ribs and muttered, "Violence not necessary. Just… cafeteria review… one star so far."
Riku blinked. "…It's a food critic?!"
The System chimed cheerfully. [New potential student identified: Specialty Cafeteria Critic.]
"I'm not opening a Yelp academy!" Riku snapped.
[Correction: Cafeteria Management falls under Home Economics.]
"Shut up!"
The zombie coughed again, then straightened awkwardly. "Headmaster…?"
Riku froze. "Wait. Did you just call me?"
"Head… master. Teach me…" The zombie's voice cracked like a broken speaker, but the words were clear enough.
His chest tightened. For years, he'd failed every teacher certification exam. Mocked. Ignored. And now—his first student was a zombie with table manners.
He nearly cried.
"Alright, listen, um… zombie guy," Riku stammered. "If you really want to join… you have to prove you're not going to eat me first!"
The zombie tilted its head again. "…Eat you? No. Too chewy."
"…I don't know whether to be relieved or insulted."
The zombie sniffed the air. "…Smells like… soup?"
Riku followed its gaze to the flowerpot on the windowsill. The Companion Seedling wiggled in its soil, humming softly.
"Water…" it squeaked.
The zombie gasped. "Talking garnish!"
Riku pinched his nose. "That's my plant student! Not food!"
The zombie slumped, disappointed. "…Still hungry."
The System's interface glowed again.
[Host, opportunity detected: Teach Lesson #1.]
"Teach?! It's the middle of the night, I have no food, no staff, and a zombie in my classroom!"
[Correction: One zombie. Potential student. Lesson required.]
Riku dragged his hands down his face. "…Fine. What am I supposed to teach?!"
[Topic Suggestion: Table Manners.]
He almost screamed. "…You want me to teach table manners to a zombie?!"
[Affirmative. Demonstration required.]
"…Demonstration?"
Suddenly, his desk leg weapon vanished. In its place appeared a silver platter complete with a fork, knife, and a porcelain plate.
Riku nearly dropped it. "What the where did this come from?!"
[System conjuration. Props provided for demonstration.]
The zombie clapped weakly. "Shiny…"
Riku swallowed hard, placed the platter on the desk between them, and tried to channel his inner teacher. "O-Okay. Step one: You don't just grab food with your bare hands. You use utensils."
He picked up the fork and knife with exaggerated care.
The zombie leaned forward, fascinated. "U-ten… sills?"
"Utensils," Riku corrected, guiding its shaky hands around the fork. The zombie stabbed the table with surprising force, splintering wood.
"…Close enough."
The zombie tilted its head proudly. "Fork."
"…Yeah. Fork."
Riku's lips trembled. Against all logic, against all reason he was teaching.
And the System chimed again:
[Congratulations! You have taught your first lesson. Reward: 5 Knowledge Points.]
A warm pulse spread through his chest. His heart pounded, not with fear, but… with pride.
The zombie straightened, wobbling, and said softly: "…Teacher."
Riku froze. His throat tightened. For years, he'd failed. Mocked. Forgotten. But here, in a ruined classroom on a dead planet, a zombie had just called him "teacher."
He almost cried again.
Then the zombie's stomach growled like thunder.
"…Still hungry," it moaned, reaching for the Companion Seedling again.
Riku slapped its hand away. "NO EATING THE STUDENTS!"
The seedling squeaked indignantly. "Rude!"
The System chimed: [Warning. Hunger Level Critical. Suggest immediate solution.]
Riku's eyes darted around the ruined classroom. No food. No supplies. Just rubble. His stomach growled too, almost as loud as the zombie's.
"Oh great," he groaned. "We're both starving. Teacher and student. Fantastic start."
[Suggestion: Farm.]
"Farm? At night?!"
[Affirmative. Growth acceleration possible with Knowledge Points.]
He groaned, massaging his temples. "…Fine. Farming at night. With a zombie student. And a talking seed."
This was his life now.
They stumbled into the courtyard. The cracked pavement was overrun with vines, glowing fungi, and patches of soil that might once have been a garden.
The zombie tilted its head. "…Cafeteria outside?"
"Close enough," Riku muttered, kneeling in the dirt. The Companion Seedling squeaked happily as he placed it in the soil.
[Knowledge Points invested. Growth accelerated.]
Light flared. The ground trembled. Within seconds, sprouts exploded upward, unfurling into stalks of glowing corn, oversized tomatoes, and… something purple that wriggled.
The zombie's jaw dropped. "…Food…"
Riku blinked. "…I actually… grew food."
For a brief, fragile moment, hope bloomed in his chest.
Then one of the purple vegetables growled.
Riku froze. "System… why is my dinner growling?"
[Answer: Mutation detected.]
The "vegetable" lunged, snapping tiny fanged leaves. Riku shrieked, falling backward. The zombie clapped in delight. "Playtime food!"
Riku threw dirt at it. "It's not playtime, it's trying to EAT ME!"
The System chimed calmly: [New lesson opportunity: Pest Control.]
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
The zombie lunged forward, grabbing the mutant plant by its stem. After a brief wrestling match, it bit down—hard—and swallowed.
Silence.
Riku's jaw dropped. "…Did you just… eat the mutant plant?"
The zombie burped. "…Spicy."
The System chimed again: [Congratulations, Host. Student has passed Lesson #2: Pest Control.]
Reward: 10 Knowledge Points.
Riku collapsed into the dirt, staring at the stars overhead. "This is insane. This is actually insane."
The zombie tilted its head, wiping its mouth. "Teacher… cafeteria… five stars."
And for the first time since arriving on Kurasu-9, Riku laughed.