Aria's Pov
By the time I made it out of Water 7 I'd decided to maybe hit pause on the whole "seducing my way through the Grand Line" plan. I went back to the same nameless little island I'd first woken up on, because apparently, even fangirls need a base camp.
Passing days weren't glamorous. Think: weird fruits for breakfast, weird fruits for lunch, and if I was lucky, not weird fruits for dinner. Sometimes I managed to fish, but fishing when you can't swim and the ocean is crawling with sea kings is basically playing Russian roulette with bigger teeth.
I did try to wish myself home again—back to my apartment, my bed, my Netflix queue. Spoiler: didn't work. My Devil Fruit really said, "Sorry sweetie, One Piece world only." I even thought about teleporting straight into a restaurant, eating a feast, and wishing myself out before the bill came, but I couldn't bring myself to be that person. Who does that? Pirates, sure. But me? I'm still a decent human being. A decent human being who's been eating weird fruits for a week, but decent nonetheless.
So I had to make a choice. Either sulk until I went mad or double down on the dream. And honestly? I hadn't even gotten to my real crushes yet. Shanks. Law. Zoro. Katakuri. Literal gods in various flavors. If I gave up before even seeing them, what kind of fangirl would I be?
Which is how I ended up plotting my next jump. An island of only women. Gorgeous, scantily dressed warrior women. Amazon Lily.
Was it risky? Yes. Was it also my bisexual dream come true? Absolutely.
I didn't overthink it. I just closed my eyes, whispered the island's name, and whoosh—the world yanked me sideways. When I opened my eyes again, I was staring at a canopy of trees so green they looked painted on. The air smelled like flowers, salt, and trouble.
I barely had time to adjust before I heard voices.
"Over there!"
I turned, and sure enough—Marguerite, Sweet Pea, and Aphelandra. Three women straight out of my memories of the anime. Marguerite with her bow and calm, skeptical eyes. Sweet Pea with her soft features and worried frown. And towering Aphelandra, who could probably use me as a toothpick.
Jackpot.
"Oh, uh, hi!" I said, giving them a little wave like I hadn't just trespassed on sacred lady territory.
Marguerite's arrow didn't lower. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"
Think, Aria. Lie, lie, lie.
"I'm… a warrior," I said smoothly, like I hadn't just been debating crab diets two hours ago.
Sweet Pea tilted her head. "You don't look like a warrior."
I gasped dramatically. "Ouch. Straight to the ego." Then I smirked. "What do warriors usually look like? Six-pack abs?"
Aphelandra squinted down at me. "You're kind of small."
"Pocket-sized for your convenience."
Marguerite didn't laugh, but her mouth twitched. Small victory.
"Still," she said, lowering her bow a fraction, "you speak like you know us."
"Of course I do." I nodded, bluffing harder than I ever had on an exam. "The Kuja warriors—fierce, unmatched, all women."
That part was true, actually. Thanks, Oda.
The three of them exchanged looks. My heart hammered. Then Sweet Pea shrugged. "Maybe she's telling the truth. She doesn't feel like an enemy."
Yes. Score.
They started leading me through the jungle, and my eyes nearly popped out of my skull.
Amazon Lily was gorgeous. Women strolled everywhere—tall, strong, curvy, elegant. It was like stepping into a supermodel convention where everyone could also kill you with a bow.
And I? I was thriving.
"Good evening, ladies," I called to a group of passing warriors, giving them a little bow. "What's a girl gotta do to earn a place around here?"
They gave me suspicious once-overs. One of them smirked. "Fight us in the arena."
"Oh, I would, but I don't want to embarrass you."
Marguerite gave me a sharp look. I coughed. "Uh—kidding. Totally kidding."
We walked on. I kept up the act, tossing compliments and subtle flirting like confetti. Half of them ignored me, half rolled their eyes, and a few laughed under their breath. Honestly? Not a bad success rate.
I was starting to think I could actually pull this off when an older voice rang out:
"Stop."
The crowd parted for an elderly woman in robes—Wrinkled, sharp-eyed, the type of grandma who knows exactly when you're lying about finishing your homework.
Elder Nyon.
Crap.
"You." She pointed her cane at me. "What do you call the feast held at the end of the Kuja's annual hunt?"
My brain screeched to a halt. That… was not in the anime.
"Uh…" I stalled. "The… really big dinner?"
Silence. Then murmurs.
"She doesn't know."
"She's lying."
"Could she be a spy?"
Panic prickled down my spine. I forced a laugh. "Oh, come on, who remembers the names of things? I just show up for the food."
Nyon's eyes narrowed. "And tell me, girl… do you know what a man looks like?"
Oh. Oh no.
Every lie in my arsenal dried up at once. My mouth opened, closed, opened again. I could practically hear the "suspicious imposter" music playing in the background.
"She hesitated!" someone shouted.
"She's a spy for the men!"
Before I knew it, hands grabbed my arms, dragging me forward. I kicked my legs uselessly. "Wait! I can explain! How would I know what a man looks like?! What even is a man?"
Too late. They marched me straight into the palace—ornate, massive, intimidating. And sitting there, were two women I knew very well from canon.
Boa Sandersonia and Boa Marigold.
Tall. Gorgeous. Terrifying. Their serpent forms curled lazily around them like they were just waiting for someone dumb enough to test their patience.
And who had they brought in for judgment?
Me.
I swallowed hard. "So, uh… hi. Love your uh.. scales."
Their eyes narrowed.
Yep. Dead girl walking.