School finally started.
Walking through that giant door again after just a few days of break felt heavier than it should've. My heart was racing — like always. After a gap, you never know how your classmates will treat you. Will they still remember me? Will things be normal? Or…
Ah, whatever. I'm still part of this class. And yes, I do have friends. Good ones, actually. But the worst part? My best one, anisha, is gone to her village for a whole month. A month. Ugh.
But just when I was sulking inside my head, someone tapped my shoulder.
"Luck to see you first!"
It was Era. My Era!
We hugged tight, and for a second, everything felt right again. Last time she had missed school completely, so walking inside with her today was a blessing. At least my bench won't feel empty.
The day started like every first day — the whole class buzzing, everyone chatting. Even Ayyan. Yes… him. Pretty boy himself. The moment I saw him, I couldn't stop that little smile curling in my mind. For my eyes, he was always a treat to look at.
Teachers welcomed us back — thankfully, no extra drama lectures this time. Straight into teaching. Thank god! And then… Vani ma'am's lecture. Still kinda embarrassing after that incident… but fine. She teased me again, the class laughed, and yeah I laughed too. But inside? My stomach flipped. Especially when she announced tomorrow she'll change our places and collect uniform measurements. Everyone else was excited. Me? Low-key panicking about where she'd make me sit.
Finally — lunch break.
The whole school felt empty since other classes weren't open yet. Just us, 10th standard. The silence around the campus? Weirdly satisfying. Like the entire building belonged to us. I was standing outside, grinning like an idiot, when Shela came.
"Hey daydreamer, lost again?" she teased.
For a second, I thought it was my brother scolding me and I almost yelled back. But nope — just Shela being Shela. I laughed it off, asked what she had for lunch. She smirked. Mischief as usual.
I started walking back towards class, and— oh god. The door was jam-packed with students. Too much crowd. And right there, right in front of me — Ayyan.
I froze.
He looked irritated, trying to push through the doorway. And no, thank god, not at me. Just the situation. Still… standing that close to him, I could feel my whole body stiffen. I stepped aside, giving him space to pass. Our shoulders nearly brushed. The only difference between us at that moment was his height towering over mine. Otherwise… way too close.
My face? Flushed. My brain? Screaming.
I slipped into my seat, forcing myself to act normal, when my eyes landed on Ayesha. And instantly, my inner voice mocked me: Oh great, Siya. You're daydreaming about someone else's husband.
Not husband-husband. Not even in a relationship. But everyone knows. Everyone sees it. Ayyan and Ayesha — the way he flirts, the way she fights back, all playful, dramatic. It's obvious. The boys tease her, she blushes, he laughs it off in that effortless way. Honestly? Together they look like a scene straight out of a movie.
And me? I'm just the audience.
It hurts, sure. But what can I do? I sit back, watch the picture unfold, and pretend it doesn't. Because maybe calling him my "idol" was the wrong word. Idols don't give you movie shots in real life.
But he does.
And that's the problem.