Siya's POV
Ahh, my stupid confusion and imagination leta forget it and start our mission!
"So, Ayyan," I whispered, "first question… what's the problem between you and her?"
He leaned back, his voice low. "If she told you, then you already know what the real problem is. Tbh, I don't have a problem. I just want her to be with me. And… she doesn't."
"She doesn't? What does that even mean?" I asked, confused.
"Now tell me what she told you," Ayyan pressed.
I shook my head, teasing, "Wait. Let me ask more questions."
He sighed, but his eyes had that little spark.
"You like her?" I asked.
"Umm… yeah. As a friend, I do."
"As a friend?" I raised my brows.
He nodded slowly. "Yeah. I don't want anything anymore because I know she doesn't, either."
My heart tightened. "And how do you know what she wants?"
"Her actions, Siya. Actions speak louder than words. It's been more than a year—I've tried so many things. Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't. And I guess we'll be okay as friends. And yeah… I wanted more. But I can't do it alone. She has to want it too. And she doesn't. I know that."
"How are you so sure?" I whispered. "Maybe you weren't there when she needed you."
He smiled faintly. "I always wanted to be there. But she makes things complicated. My ego, my self-respect… everything was attacked. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I wasn't able to."
Before I could ask more, Vani ma'am entered.
"Students, since your first lecture teacher is absent, I will be taking this class," she announced.
Ahh shit. Just when things were getting real. Our conversation broke in half.
Ayyan called softly from behind, "You still owe me an answer."
I turned back and smiled, but before I could say anything, Vani ma'am snapped, "Where is your focus? I am standing here, and you two are busy whispering?"
The whole class turned to look at us. Or… was it just at me?
Weird. Embarrassing. Uncomfortable.
I forced a smile, trying to brush it off. But inside, my head was still spinning with his words.
Because all this time, I used to think Ayyan was a complete person. Always smiling, always joking, never caring what others thought. Perfect. Untouchable. Rarely irritated, never angry. The only time I had seen him cry, I thought it was just… momentary emotions. Nothing deep.
But today… when he spoke… I heard something else.
His voice cracked in places. He was blushing and smiling, yes, but beneath it, there was pain. Real pain.
Like he had been carrying something heavy behind all those laughs and playful smiles.
And for the first time… I realized—his "perfect" laughter was nothing but a shield.
But of course… Vani ma'am had to ruin it for me. Always watching me differently. Sometimes I really feel she has a problem with me. Maybe because I sit near him? Maybe because she favors Ayesha? I don't know.
She looked at me again, ready to say something. But she didn't. She just let it go.
And I just sat there… smiling like an idiot. Because that's what I do when I'm tense. Smile.
But deep down, my thoughts wouldn't stop.
What hurts more? That Ayyan loves Ayesha so much… or that he never lets anyone see how broken he actually is?