Siya POV:
I swear, my brain was on fire. Should I go to school tomorrow or not?
Because honestly, who has the guts to show their face after crying in front of the whole class… and not even for a breakup, or a fight, or something big. No. I cried over a freaking seat arrangement.
For everyone else, it was just a joke. Something to laugh at, gossip about, move on.
But for me? It was Siya's betrayal. It was Ayesha not being there. It was my teacher not believing me. It was every wound reopening all at once.
But still… at the end of the day, it was just "seats." And that's the most embarrassing part.
---
I kept debating with myself. Go or don't go?
I told myself: "It doesn't matter. Nobody even cares."
But my stupid heart whispered back: "It matters to me."
And then Anisha's text came. Again. The third one. She wasn't the type to chase people, but with me, she was trying. My fingers hovered over the screen, wanting to reply. But I couldn't. It was too hard. Too raw. So I thought—no. Tomorrow I'll face her. Face everything. In school.
---
Next morning, the universe clearly decided to bully me.
I was deliberately being slow—walking like a grandma, folding my uniform like I had all the time in the world—when suddenly my brothers, the same brothers who usually couldn't care less, started helping me.
"Go, Siya. Freshen up fast. I've kept your clothes ready."
…Excuse me?? Why were they helping me for the first time in my life, exactly when I didn't want to go?
But no matter how much I resisted, the universe dragged me to school. Maybe it was for my own good. I took a deep breath and stepped into the classroom.
---
Everyone was gossiping. My heart sank—they're talking about me. But then I realized, no. Their eyes weren't on me.
They were on someone behind me.
I turned. And nearly choked.
Tanev.
The guy who hadn't shown up once in these 10-12 days of school, suddenly here, walking in casually like he hadn't disappeared.
The class was shocked. I was shocked. Even he looked at me and just said, "Will you get aside or not?"
Silent. Calm. Like he didn't even exist yesterday.
For once, I was actually thankful for his presence. Because everyone's focus shifted from me to him. Maybe the universe wasn't bullying me after all.
---
But then I noticed something else.
Ayesha. She wasn't here.
A tiny ache bloomed in my chest. Was it because of Tanev? Was she avoiding him? Avoiding me? I didn't know.
---
The whole day blurred. My new benchmate, Aryan, wasn't as bad as I thought. I apologized a hundred times for crying yesterday, and he kept saying it was okay. But I still felt guilty. I knew he must've felt bad too.
And yet, between my forced smiles, I kept feeling eyes on me. I turned once, but it was only Ayyan and Tanev talking. Normal. But still, my stomach twisted.
---
I told myself a million times:
I'm over Ayyan. I swear. I even pray he ends up with Ayesha. They deserve each other.
But then… it happened.
He turned.
I turned.
Our eyes met.
Two seconds. Maybe three. But it felt like the world stopped. The noise of the classroom faded, my chest tightened, and my heart—my stupid, betraying heart—skipped like it was trying to leap out of me.
And in that frozen second, all my lies to myself shattered.
I wasn't over him. Not even close.
I dropped my gaze instantly, pressing my palm to my chest. Why? Why does one look from him still feel like a lifetime? Why does my heart still whisper his name when my brain screams to let go?
---
The day ended. No Ayesha. No Siya.
Just me, drowning in my thoughts, pretending everything was fine.
When I reached home, I finally called Anisha. The first time, she cut it. The second time, she picked up.
Her voice was sharp: "What?"
I asked why she didn't come. She snapped back, "Does it even matter to you?"
The call ended before I could answer.
My chest felt heavy. But later, she called again. And she apologized. She admitted she was hurt. She told me she was scared when I wasn't replying yesterday. And all my anger softened. I admitted I needed her too, but she wasn't there. In that silence, we both understood each other.
By the end, I promised her: "I'll always be there for you."
And I meant it.
---
Later, I finally replied to Siya too. Forgave her, even though deep down, I'd never forget what she did. But maybe she had her reasons too.
Still, the ache remained.
---
The next days blurred together. Ayesha didn't come—she went to her relatives. And again, fate laughed at me. Because now when Tanev was here, she wasn't.
The whole class probably thought she was skipping because of him. But I knew better.
And then… again.
That accidental glance.
Those eyes.
That stupid skip in my chest.
No matter how much I deny, some part of me still belonged to Ayyan. And I hated myself for it.
---
By the last day of extra classes, I thought it was finally over. My aura—already ruined—could now recover. No more being "the crybaby."
But fate had other plans.
Vani ma'am announced: "Extra classes extended till Saturday."
The whole class groaned. But when her eyes landed on me, I swear, it felt like she was scolding only me. My smile cracked. My stomach dropped.
Inside, I screamed:
Why, God? Why me?
Will I ever be stable again? Will anything good ever happen to me?
Because right now… it felt like the answer was no.