Chapter 369: Howard's Bachelor Party
As it turns out, all corporate fat cats are paper tigers. Silverberg, who always seemed untouchable in the media, was already terrified before Ron even swung his hammer for the first time.
So Ron had to splash him with water to wake him up. But this time, he answered very decisively, confessing all the tax evasion he'd committed over the years through various shell companies and creative accounting before Ron could even raise his hammer a second time. Sure enough, these Wall Street types fold faster than a lawn chair. Ron added over 70 million US dollars in tax revenue to his year-end performance report with almost no effort.
According to the new agreement with the administration, this time, he could retain 70% of the funds as operational expenses, meaning Ron's special operations team gained another 50 million!
"Hey guys!" Rajesh tapped the table, pulling Ron's thoughts back to reality. He was currently sitting in the Caltech cafeteria with his science geek friends.
"I think it's time we discussed Howard's bachelor party. I spent the whole afternoon researching all the strip clubs in Los Angeles, and one of them told me that if we didn't care about the performer's age or... physical condition, the price would definitely be within our budget. Howard, what do you think?"
Rajesh leered at Howard, wanting to cause some chaos at his bachelor party.
Howard and Bernadette were engaged and planned to get married soon, and according to traditional American customs, the bachelor party was their last chance to cut loose.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Ron interrupted impatiently, "Rajesh, what are you talking about? This is a sacred bachelor party! Are you planning to let Howard watch some forty-year-old with an eye patch doing her thing on a pole at his own bachelor party? I'm ashamed of you, man!"
"Then what's your brilliant idea?"
"If you ask me, we should throw the most epic bachelor party ever. Let's book the best entertainers in Los Angeles. Don't worry, I'll cover the tab!"
Ron patted his chest generously. With the new income from Life Robotics, Ron's wallet was fat, and covering the expenses of several professional dancers was pocket change for him.
Of course, Ron wasn't this generous with everyone. Howard, as the most capable scientist in the group, was now the most important link in Ron's equipment pipeline. Ron was counting on him to develop more high-tech gear for his operations.
Consider this a little bonus investment. As an employer, investing emotionally in your key personnel always pays the best dividends.
It has to be said, Ron was starting to pick up some tricks from these American business moguls.
"No need, bro," Howard reluctantly declined. "I already promised Bernadette I wouldn't have strippers at my bachelor party."
"You don't want strippers? Who are you kidding? You're like a VIP member at half the clubs in LA! That place north of Hollywood even named a private booth after you!"
Rajesh said, puzzled. He and Howard were best buddies, and the wild times they'd had together were legendary, so he was most confused by Howard's sudden reformation.
"Well, I'm not into that stuff anymore."
"That's good, Howard, I'm really proud of you, but you're the first among us to tie the knot, so we should do something special, right?" Leonard joined the discussion, trying to persuade him.
"Or how about we throw a yacht party?" Ron, now flush with cash, confidently suggested, "My team owns a really sweet yacht that you can borrow for a party. I guarantee that if we just post it on social media, countless bikini-clad beach babes will be willing to come aboard and have some fun with us."
Howard was very tempted, but after thinking about it, he declined. If they really went out on a yacht, especially with Ron organizing it, how clueless would Bernadette have to be to not know what he was up to?
"How about we go to Napa Valley?" Rajesh, having struck out with one plan, came up with another. "They have wine trains there. Right now, the scenery is gorgeous, winding through vineyards, the train filled with the aroma of wine, and wildflowers blooming everywhere—it's like heaven on earth."
"Look, in just thirty seconds, our conversation has gone from 'partying with hot girls' to 'planning a romantic getaway.' Rajesh, if this keeps up, you'll never get laid." Ron sighed in disappointment. "Why don't we ask the man of the hour—Howard, what are you planning to do?"
"I think just getting together with some close friends and family for dinner and drinks will be fine, what do you think?"
"That's boring as hell. But it's your bachelor party, you decide." Ron nodded, and the conversation about the bachelor party ended there.
On the day of the party, Ron, Leonard, and Sheldon arrived at the steakhouse Rajesh had reserved.
"Leonard, I remember you recently got back together with Penny. How did you manage to leave her behind tonight?" Ron asked curiously.
Just like all American men who love bachelor parties, the women naturally knew what could happen at these events. Ron was curious how Leonard could bear to leave his dream girl at home.
"I just told her I was going to Howard's bachelor party tonight, and she let me come."
"That makes sense," Ron took a sip of his bourbon, "Don't even mention there won't be any strippers at tonight's party. Even if there were, and one was already in your bed, you'd probably just help her with her community college homework at most. You wouldn't do anything more than that. All talk, no action."
"Hey! I do crazy stuff sometimes!" Leonard protested.
"Crazy stuff? Name one thing."
"Uh...uh...Hey! The man of the hour is here~" Leonard stammered for a long time without coming up with anything. Fortunately, Howard's timely arrival saved him, and he quickly changed the subject.
Ron hauled up Sheldon, who was a little woozy from accidentally drinking whiskey instead of his usual virgin mojito. Following tradition, they sang a drinking song and took their seats. After toasting in turn, it was finally Rajesh's turn. By this time, everyone was pleasantly buzzed.
Rajesh, in particular, shakily stood up: "Finally, it's my turn as best man! When I first came to America from New Delhi, I didn't know how to act, I didn't know how to dress, and I didn't even know what was cool. I was so lonely back then. But after I met Howard, my life changed completely!"
In an instant, the atmosphere became quite heartfelt and emotional.
(End of Chapter)
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