Chapter 360: Sheldon's Signature Move: Calling the Parents
How do you help an Indian man who's blinded by love and thinking with the wrong head? Like in the original timeline, talk to the deaf woman and get her to dump Rajesh, the walking ATM?
NO! The gold digger is deaf, not blind and stupid—she won't let go of a cash cow like Rajesh.
Ron felt that the only way to solve the problem was to address the root cause, which meant talking to Rajesh first.
"Ron, Howard, what are you doing in my apartment?" Rajesh returned home after a date with his new girlfriend to find two uninvited guests.
"Normally, if someone asked me, I'd say there's no lock in the world that can stop a professional operative, but since you're my friend, I just used your spare key—the one you left at Howard's place."
Ron shook his head, looking at Howard. "You see, love has completely fried his brain cells. He's even forgotten what he's done. I don't think there's any point in trying to save him."
"Hold on, I think Rajesh can still be saved," Howard looked at Rajesh. "Hey, Raj, we need to talk to you."
"Sure, you want to discuss my love life?" Rajesh raised an eyebrow smugly. "Let me tell you, being in love feels absolutely amazing!"
"Really? I don't think a girlfriend purchased with expensive gifts qualifies as love." Ron crossed his arms and replied coldly. To be honest, he really didn't want to get involved in Rajesh's drama.
He should have been at Max's place right now, continuing to enjoy his "punishing the bad girl" activities.
"Hey! I only gave her a few things, and she even gave me something in return!" Rajesh shot back defensively.
"Rajesh, we're all adults here. We know exactly what kind of 'return gift' she's giving you, right?" Ron rolled his eyes. "Even if you want to put a price tag on those gifts, you could go down to Sunset Boulevard and have a more honest transaction for way less money.
And I guarantee you, whether you ghost her immediately afterward or invite another attractive woman to join your party, they won't get clingy or jealous."
"Oh my God! There are women like that? Why didn't you introduce me to them before?" Rajesh's jaw dropped.
Howard covered his face, unable to take it anymore: "Moron! He's talking about hookers!"
"Listen, I'm not your dad, but as a friend, I'm advising you not to get too entangled with this gold digger."
"She's not that kind of woman—we're truly in love!"
"Oh really?" Ron sneered. "Then why don't you try taking back all the gifts you gave her and telling her you're actually broke? If she still sticks around, then it's definitely true love, and I promise I'll apologize. How about that?"
"I... I won't test our love like that. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'm enjoying this feeling."
Now Rajesh was the one lacking confidence. Scientists aren't stupid—they know the truth deep down, they just don't want to admit it.
"Ron, do you have any other ideas?" Howard shook his head; he was out of moves and could only hope Ron had a plan.
"Of course I do." Ron pulled out his laptop, and Rajesh watched him typing on the keyboard, a sense of dread creeping into his heart.
"Ron, what are you doing?"
"Calling your parents, obviously," Ron said without looking up.
Rajesh's stubbornness was giving Ron a migraine. He had a more direct way to persuade him to give up, but to end this quickly, he decided to use the nuclear option:
Sheldon's signature move—tattling to the parents. While it sounded juvenile, it proved surprisingly effective when dealing with Rajesh.
"No!" Rajesh yelled, lunging forward to stop Ron, but it was too late. Ron had already connected the video call and turned the screen around.
"Rajesh?" His father asked, puzzled. "Why are you calling us at this hour? Don't you know the IPL playoffs are about to start?!"
"Sorry, Dad, I dialed the wrong number. I'll hang up now."
Rajesh said, about to disconnect, but Ron wasn't about to let that happen. He quickly spun the laptop back: "Hi, Dr. Koothrappali, good evening. Have you paid your taxes?"
"What?" Rajesh's father was confused. Could the IRS collect from India?
"Oh no, sorry—I meant, I'm your son's good friend, Ron," Ron quickly corrected himself. "That was just force of habit from work, please don't mind me."
"Ron, shouldn't my son's best friend be that Jewish fellow named Howard?"
"Yes, absolutely, he's right here," Ron turned the laptop around, letting Howard and Rajesh's father exchange greetings. "I wanted to talk to you about something else today. I think you might have noticed some unusual activity on your son's credit card statements lately, right?"
"This? I haven't noticed. I usually don't pay attention to anything under a hundred grand," Rajesh's father said with casual wealth flex. "Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"
"Well, your son has recently started dating a girlfriend..."
"What? Rajesh, you're finally dating someone?!" Rajesh's father clasped his hands together in prayer. "Tell me quickly—his girlfriend isn't that Jewish boy he's always with, is she? I'm too old to handle that kind of shock."
Howard's expression turned to pure offense, and he was about to defend himself when Ron interjected, "No, no, no, he's with a woman—an actual woman."
"Thank God!" Raj's father patted his chest in relief. "At least it's a woman."
"But the situation isn't much better, Dr. Koothrappali," Ron shot Raj a warning glance, stopping him from interrupting. "Let me tell you what your son has been buying for this woman recently: a pair of diamond earrings, two Hermès bags, a pair of Louboutin heels. Oh, and Raj even leased her a BMW."
"I think you understand why this woman is with Raj, right?"
"Of course! As a gynecologist, I know all too well what kind of 'return gift' she's giving Rajesh!" Raj's father's mustache bristled with anger. "Rajesh, listen to me. You need to find a nice Indian girl from a good family. If you continue seeing this woman, don't expect to spend another rupee of my money."
"What? You're making me choose between a woman I love and the money that I also love very much?" Rajesh shouted indignantly. "Fine, I choose true love!"
(End of Chapter)
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