Chapter 359: Indian Love Story
While Ron was busy disciplining the bad girl, Rajesh wasn't sitting idle either.
Perhaps out of guilt for how long Rajesh had been exposed during the previous sleeping-with-girls incident, Penny took the initiative to play matchmaker. Considering Rajesh's selective mutism around women, Penny cut straight to the chase and set him up with a deaf woman.
One guy who couldn't speak to women, one woman who couldn't hear—a match made in heaven.
But there was still a problem: how would these two communicate? Fortunately, this last obstacle was solved by Howard, who knew sign language.
"So, how did Rajesh's date go the other night?" Because Rajesh had gone out with his new girlfriend, the couch was quite spacious. Ron, practically ignoring Sheldon's disapproving glares, sprawled out while eating and asked.
"Thank God that's over. I swear I'll never be a sign language interpreter again. Raj actually wanted me to translate his sexy Indian accent! My God, how am I supposed to translate that? Should I have broken into a Bollywood dance number for that girl on the spot?"
Howard was still furious just thinking about it.
"It's unbelievable that Rajesh actually has a girlfriend." Penny marveled.
"I can't believe it either. It feels surreal. I keep wondering what that girl could possibly like about him. Is it his mommy issues? Or his complete lack of game?" Ron shook his head. As everyone knows, Raj's relationship skills were notoriously questionable.
"Howard, you and Rajesh have always been best buds. Do you know what's really going on?"
"Okay, let me spill the tea," Howard put down his fork, looking positively gleeful with gossip. "Rajesh has only known this girl for three days, but he's already given her a pair of diamond earrings and leased her a BMW."
"WHAT?!" Penny's jaw dropped.
Leonard mused, "Sounds like she's taking advantage of Raj."
"How could that be?" Penny waved her hand dismissively. "She's deaf. Deaf people are all good people, everyone knows that, Leonard."
"Not necessarily. I remember when I traveled through Southeast Asia, almost every street corner had people with little donation cards claiming to be deaf. But for some reason, the moment I said I was carrying and would happily give them a round,
they all scattered faster than roaches when you turn on the lights. Looking back, I'm pretty sure they weren't actually deaf. But this kind of money is nothing to Rajesh. I don't think you need to be so shocked, especially you, Penny—you're practically drooling on the table."
"This kind of money?!" Penny's shrill voice pierced everyone's eardrums. "Didn't you hear him? Ron, that's diamonds! Freaking diamonds! They've only known each other for three days!"
"Of course I know they're diamonds," Ron rubbed his ringing ears, shooting Penny an annoyed look. "But Raj is loaded, that's all. You could ask Sheldon about it."
With Ron's words, everyone's attention shifted to Sheldon, who seemed to relish being center stage, smugly straightening his Green Lantern t-shirt. "I do possess information about Rajesh that might illuminate your discussion. Rajesh can purchase that woman as many gifts as he desires without financial concern, because the Koothrappali family is extraordinarily wealthy."
"What do you mean by 'extraordinarily wealthy'?" Penny had a sinking feeling.
"Literally, vast amounts of currency."
"Sheldon, they don't understand Raj's situation as well as you do. Maybe you could use a more relatable comparison to make it clearer." Ron grimaced. Rajesh's background was infuriating just thinking about it, and he didn't want to explain it himself—he'd sound sickeningly jealous.
Rajesh was the perfect example of how some people spend their entire lives climbing the ladder to reach Ron's level, while others are born on third base thinking they hit a triple—Raj was definitely born on third.
"Very well," Sheldon said with barely concealed smugness, "Listen. A few years ago, I achieved one of my modest aspirations: becoming a notary public. Periodically, I'm required to notarize Rajesh's financial statements. The Koothrappali family isn't merely wealthy, they're obscenely wealthy.
If we were to use comic book characters as a metric, they fall somewhere between Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne on the wealth spectrum."
Penny had seen Iron Man at the multiplex. While Bruce Wayne wasn't exactly a household name to her, she'd heard the guys across the hall geeking out about him constantly, so she knew that Mr. Wayne's superpower was basically being a billionaire.
"Holy shit! Last time we went to the Griffith Observatory, that cheapskate made me buy him a hot dog!" Howard felt utterly betrayed, while Leonard quickly stood up, grabbed his phone, and headed to his bedroom.
"Listen, everyone, sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I need to call Rajesh's sister, my girlfriend, the one I'm absolutely crazy about."
"Okay, so he's loaded, he bought her tons of gifts... and a car." Penny's tone was bitter, she could barely get the words out.
Howard twisted the knife: "He also paid off all her credit card debt."
"What?! He paid off her credit cards?" Penny finally lost it: "Son of a bitch! I should've dated Rajesh months ago. Okay, I'm not that kind of person, but we need to stage an intervention with Raj."
"Yeah, we need to talk to him, but he won't listen—he's in love... unless..." Howard's eyes darted around mischievously, landing on Ron.
Penny followed his gaze: "Unless what?"
Ron had a bad feeling. He was supposed to be an observer here, so why did it feel like he was about to get pulled into the drama?
"Unless there's someone he really trusts, like Ron, who can have a real conversation with him and expose this woman's true intentions." Howard stared pointedly at Ron. "Ron, you can definitely handle this."
"Come on, the Koothrappali family is stupid rich—even if he throws money around like this, it's not going to bankrupt them. Aren't you guys making a mountain out of a molehill?" Ron protested.
Well, that was the excuse anyway. The real reason was that he wanted to avoid the hassle.
"No, you're missing the point. It's not really about the money, I'm more worried about him getting his heart broken. You know Raj has always been emotionally fragile. He once went on a juice cleanse for three months because someone made an offhand comment about his weight."
No one knew Rajesh better than his best friend Howard: "You need to help him, Ron."
"Alright, alright, fine." Ron had no choice but to cave.
(End of Chapter)
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