Chapter 225: Rajesh's Sudden Enlightenment and the Stolen Apartment
Ron was no longer in the mood to deal with the rest of the situation and handed everything over to Hank. Hank had already reached director level in the DEA and was now more than capable of handling IRS operations.
He was currently sitting in Sheldon's favorite Italian restaurant, preparing to order food despite Sheldon's dramatic eye roll.
Howard carefully glanced at Ron's face and began to show off: "It's been forever since the five of us went out to eat together, I mean without women."
Of course, his main target for showing off was Rajesh.
Ron had countless girlfriends, Leonard had Penny, and Sheldon didn't need women. That left only Rajesh, who desperately wanted what he couldn't get.
"Alright already~ We know you have a girlfriend now, okay?"
"Does it make you a little jealous? I'm so sorry."
"Who's jealous?" Rajesh threw his hands up. "Fine, I admit I'd pay any price to get laid. Can we order now?"
Ron chimed in: "Rajesh, honestly, if you want to develop something more than friendship with a girl, it's really not that complicated."
"What should I do? Ron, teach me~" Rajesh's eyes lit up as he grabbed Ron's hand tightly.
"It's simple. You just need to casually mention your trust fund, or show the girls those monthly allowance transfers your parents send you," Ron calmly pulled his hand free.
"Or when we're talking about family, you could show the girls a photo of you at your family's estate."
"Photos? Of course I've shown girls my family photos, but it didn't help. Ron, I think you've got something wrong."
"Impossible!" Ron asked suspiciously. "What photos did you show them? Please tell me your family's mansion and your dad's Tesla weren't in the shot?"
Rajesh looked confused. "Aren't I supposed to show them my family? Why would I include the mansion and the Tesla?"
Ron face-palmed. He was speechless at this guy's clueless thinking. "Rajesh, don't you realize that your biggest attraction to women is your wealth? Trust me, if they knew how loaded you are, they'd never let you go."
Rajesh fell into deep thought. He felt like he was having an epiphany. He understood, but not completely. Meanwhile, Sheldon was causing problems again.
Sheldon opened the menu: "Oh my God, they updated the menu!"
"So what? The dishes are the same," Leonard said, puzzled.
"Really? Look at this! Chicken Parmigiana is now listed under entrées instead of house specialties," Sheldon said, flipping the menu and pointing to a dish.
"So?"
"So why isn't it a specialty anymore? Is it because the chef here has lost confidence in this dish, or does he have too much confidence?"
Sheldon looked up and started flagging down the waiter. Ron, finally unable to take it anymore, snatched the menu from his hands and quickly placed their order: "Chicken Parmigiana, Pasta Primavera, Caesar Salad, Pepperoni Pizza, and Garlic Bread. That's it, thank you."
"Hey Ron, I wasn't done with the menu!" Sheldon yelled in protest after the waiter left.
"So what? You were going to order those anyway. I just sped things up and made a small contribution to our digestive health. Who knows, if you kept nitpicking, the waiter might spit in our food."
Ron said casually, but Sheldon's dissatisfaction couldn't be appeased by a delicious meal. Even after they finished eating and returned to the apartment, Sheldon kept complaining about the menu.
"The more I think about it, the more wrong it seems. Marinara sauce can't possibly contain authentic San Marzano tomatoes."
"Why now?"
Ron stayed quiet, and Leonard jumped in, "Because it's listed as a house sauce."
"What if they're using canned tomatoes that died in a warehouse?" Leonard was mid-sneer when Ron suddenly stopped, putting his arms around both Sheldon and Leonard to silence them.
"What's wrong, Ron?" Leonard whispered, noticing Ron's sudden alertness.
"Someone might have been in your apartment. I'm going to check the front. You two stay here and don't move." Ron drew his pistol and slowly made his way upstairs, his steps light and silent.
Ron had pissed off so many people—from Korean gangs in Los Angeles to Uncle Chicken's drug cartel to the human trafficking ring he'd recently busted. Too many to count. Honestly, he'd been expecting this day, but he just didn't know which group would come calling today.
Reaching Sheldon's apartment, the lock had been jimmied with a crowbar. Ron gripped his gun and suddenly kicked the door open. "Freeze!"
But his dramatic entrance fell flat. The apartment was empty, leaving only a trashed mess. All the valuable electronics were gone. Ron's suspicions were wrong; it was just a burglar, and he'd already split.
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Leonard exclaimed. "The TV's gone, and our laptops are gone too!"
"OMG! OMG! Oh my God!" Sheldon, looking devastated, surveyed the mess and rushed to the bedroom.
"What's with him?" Ron asked. Before Leonard could respond, Sheldon provided the answer himself.
Sheldon patted his chest and emerged from the bedroom. "It's okay, it's okay. My comic books are still here."
Ron was speechless. The guy didn't care about the TV and computer but was only worried about those stupid comics? Wasn't that psychiatrist Sheldon's mom took him to supposed to be good? He seemed like he still had issues.
Security in Pasadena was pretty decent, and the cops arrived in less than thirty minutes. Since this wasn't Ron's area of expertise, he sat back while the police began cataloging the stolen property.
"They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard drives, our PS2, PS3, Xbox and Xbox 360, the original Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, and the Wii."
The cops looked confused, so Leonard had to clarify, "We're gamers."
"Speaking of games, they stole Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Halo 2, Halo 3..." Sheldon rattled off game titles like a machine gun.
"Some computer games," the officer wrote in his notebook.
"When will the Crime Scene Unit get here?"
"They won't be coming," Ron finally stood up, unable to take it anymore. "There's no need for CSU on a simple burglary like this. If they did show up, trust me, they'd probably just shoot you because of me, then chop you into a hundred pieces and stuff you in the freezer, Sheldon!"
(End of Chapter)
If you enjoyed this chapter, leave a Review!
P*atreon/Soulforger (90+ advanced chapters)
Buy me coffee - ko-fi*com/soulforger01