Chapter 90: What's Your Choice?
Busted. Ron shook his head helplessly, resigned to dealing with Sheldon. He had no choice—Sheldon was the golden child of both women in the family. If he left him alone, he'd definitely catch hell from both of them.
Honestly, he'd rather face ten operatives with Arthur's skill set than be stuck alone with Sheldon for more than three hours.
But just then, the door creaked open again, and a small drone equipped with a basic robotic arm floated inside.
The more Ron looked at it, the more familiar it seemed. Wasn't that the prototype drone Howard and the gang had helped him build? Ron chuckled to himself. These tech nerds were pretty handy when they put their minds to it.
So the professional babysitter was already in position?
Ron opened the door to find three sheepish scientists standing there.
As expected, Leonard's glasses were cracked again, and he was squinting for several seconds before he recognized Ron.
Before Leonard could say anything, Ron grabbed him by the shirt and tossed him into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. "I'm heading out for dinner. You two want to come along?"
The two remaining nerds nodded eagerly.
Inside, Penny—who was exhausted from dealing with Sheldon's demands—caught Leonard red-handed. Leonard waved pathetically at her: "Hey, Penny!"
"You're such a coward," Penny shook her head. "You deliberately left me here to suffer with Sheldon."
"I couldn't help it! You saw what Sheldon's like when he's sick," Leonard explained frantically.
"Penny, I'm hungry!" Sheldon whined from the bedroom, demanding food.
"Sweetie, I have great news—Leonard's back!" Penny, watching Leonard's look of pure terror, shoved the thermometer she'd been using to check Sheldon's temperature into Leonard's hands. "Here you go. Good luck. Bye!"
"Leonard, I'm hungry!" Sheldon called out again.
"Penny, please take me with you!" Leonard chased after her, but after a few steps, he walked straight into the doorframe with a loud thunk.
Sheldon, wrapped in his blanket, emerged from the bedroom: "I want a grilled cheese sandwich."
An hour later, Sheldon finally had his grilled cheese, while Leonard sat on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his forehead, feeling utterly defeated.
Of course, if he knew what the guy who'd gotten him stuck with Sheldon was up to, he might have felt a little better.
Meanwhile, in downtown LA, Ron and two nerdy scientists arrived at the diner where Max and Caroline worked.
"Dude, you're telling me these two girls know about each other but pretend they don't? That's incredible! How'd you pull that off? If you could teach me that trick, I swear on my mother's samosas I won't charge you a dime for any tech work."
Raj exclaimed with envy and amazement.
"To be precise, the blonde knows about the brunette, but the brunette doesn't know about the blonde. Even though the brunette seems smarter—she did graduate from Wharton Business School—I actually think the blonde is the sharper one," Ron said, shrugging helplessly.
"Wharton? Damn!" The two nerds looked at him with newfound respect, and Howard voiced his confusion: "Wharton's no joke, but I can't imagine why a graduate would be working at a place like this."
This wasn't hard to understand. There's a definite pecking order among American academic elites. Simply put, STEM looks down on business, and everyone looks down on liberal arts.
In Sheldon's words: "Business school? Isn't that just memorizing buzzwords and networking?" Even though he held multiple advanced degrees, this was typical of the arrogance that science and engineering students had toward business majors.
"There's a deeper story there, and I'll fill you in later. It's about a Park Avenue princess who, due to some unfortunate circumstances, is temporarily slumming it here. But I believe their cupcake business will eventually take off."
"Guys," Ron cleared his throat, "you're not Sheldon, so I don't need to remind you how rude it is to stare, do I?"
Howard: "Don't worry, we'll be perfect gentlemen. But seriously, upper class? Think your girlfriend could introduce us to some of her friends? If she could hook me up with any of the Kardashians, I'd happily live off cupcakes for the rest of my life."
Honestly, Howard had serious delusions of grandeur. Did he really think he could land someone who only dated NBA players?
"Kardashian women only go for guys built like LeBron James," Ron said, patting Howard's shoulder sympathetically. "Unless you hit the gym for about five years straight, or somehow clone four Russell Westbrooks and form your own championship team, you've got zero shot."
As the three of them chatted, they'd unconsciously walked up to the restaurant. Through the large front window, they could see two women—exactly as Ron had described—having what looked like a heated argument.
"Hey Ron, I think you need to see this," Howard said, pressing his face against the glass. "Maybe they found out about your two-timing and they're fighting over you? Think they'll start a catfight?"
Raj heard this and quickly joined Howard, both of them watching the scene unfold through the window.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Trust me, as irresistible as I am, if they get mad at me, the only outcome is they'll both dump me and run off together.
Then I'll have to drown my sorrows in ice cream, go home lonely just like you guys, and take an embarrassingly long shower."
"Ron, you're really going to ditch us?!" Howard accused.
"Look, if you were me," Ron leaned over and joined them at the window, "on one side you've got a busty blonde and a leggy brunette, and on the other side you've got two guys arguing about comic books. Which would you choose?"
"Hey! We don't just argue about comics!" Raj protested, feeling insulted.
"Of course I'd choose my bros!" Howard lied shamelessly while avoiding Raj's pointed stare.
"Have fun with that, fellas. Me? I'm going inside." Ron straightened up, preparing to lead his two friends into the restaurant.
At that moment, a nervous-looking guy in a rumpled suit and trench coat pushed through the front door and rushed inside. Ron's trained eye immediately spotted the telltale bulge under the man's coat.
"Hold up there," Ron stopped the two tech geeks who were about to follow him in.
"What's wrong, Ron? Chickening out on us now?"
Ron's expression turned serious. "Not at all. It's just that unless I'm mistaken, we're about to witness an armed robbery. You sure you want to walk into that?"
(End of Chapter)
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