Chapter 253: Howard the Youngster, Dead! Brave Wolowitz!
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
Emergency Room.
Faced with a group of doctors in white coats descending upon him, even Howard the Youngster couldn't hold on any longer. He cried out Sheldon's definition of Chuck in a fit of despair, then fainted.
"Ross, quickly help him up!"
Monica, seeing this, didn't know whether to be angry or amused, and quickly reminded Ross, who was standing next to her younger cousin, to help him up.
Actually, Ross didn't need to reach out to help him.
As Howard the Youngster fell backward, his loyal mechanical hand wouldn't abandon him, still gripping him tightly.
This shift in position, the pulling pain, made the unconscious Howard the Youngster feel as if he had been electrocuted, and he woke up again with a jolt, managing to brace himself and prevent himself from falling.
"If you're going to fake passing out, wait until the gurney comes before you fake it."
Joey was the most sympathetic toward Howard the Youngster—after all, the two had a lot in common. One leaned toward theoretical superiority, and the other toward practical experience.
And upon arriving at the hospital, the spirit of Dr. Drake Ramoray, whom he played in the soap opera "Days of Our Lives," instantly possessed him, offering his friend Howard expert advice.
"..."
Howard gripped Joey's hand tightly, pulling himself back from the mechanical hand. He not only had to endure the pain of the earlier tug, but also the impending onslaught of stares. And if he actually fainted from shock, he'd be misunderstood as faking it.
He was trembling with anger and cold, but dared not even tremble.
He... was having such a hard time!
"Where's Chuck?!"
Howard gritted his teeth.
"He'll be here soon."
Monica felt a pang of sympathy for her little cousin, but also a surge of satisfaction.
Knowing Chuck as she did, and seeing the large group of doctors arriving, it was clear that Chuck was taking her cousin's troubles seriously.
Whether it was out of respect for her, or, as Chandler would say, due to his 'deadpan comedian's' dry humor, this large gathering indicated that Chuck was in a good mood.
Hmm.
She definitely didn't mean to bully a kid.
Her Chuck wasn't that petty... Besides, while little Sheldon might be considered an innocent child, her little cousin was definitely not!
"Well, well, you must be the patient Chuck mentioned who needs a diagnosis."
Dr. House walked over, looking at little Howard, who was clutching the blanket tightly, with a playful and teasing smile.
Little Howard wanted to say that he wasn't Chuck's friend, and after this, he never would be.
But unfortunately, he usually only dared to mutter that to himself, and now, being at his most vulnerable, he could only look to his most reliable cousin, Monica, for help.
"It's him,"
Monica interjected. "Doctor, why don't you have them disperse first, and let Howard be examined privately?"
"That won't do,"
Dr. House immediately shook his head, saying seriously, "This is a teaching hospital. Senior doctors mentor junior doctors, familiarizing them with the patient's condition and mastering medical techniques—this is a necessary process.
I heard this is a very special case, a rare opportunity for them to improve their medical skills, so I gathered all the doctors I could."
At this point, he couldn't hold back any longer, revealing a mischievous smile again: "Don't worry, we are all professional doctors, there won't be any problems."
"I don't want to!"
Little Howard looked at Monica with pleading eyes.
So many doctors watching him, especially since they were obviously going to lift the covers one by one to examine him—even if the doctors were all incredibly professional and wouldn't laugh at him unless they couldn't help themselves, he couldn't maintain a professional mindset.
Even now, he was feeling incredibly embarrassed.
"You can go to other hospitals,"
Dr. House shrugged leisurely. "My advice is to go to a hospital that isn't a teaching hospital. Otherwise, given the special nature of your condition, the situation you'll likely face won't be much different.
Also, as a professional doctor, I need to remind you that since you've come to the emergency room, time is extremely precious."
He then gestured to his bad leg. "See? This leg of mine is messed up because it wasn't treated in time.
Some people think that as long as the third leg can support itself, a bad leg doesn't really matter, and the impact isn't that significant.
I used to be very dismissive of that.
But someone gave me a very good example."
Dr. House was really going all out, even joking about his own injury for laughs, leaving his good buddy Dr. Wilson and his three team members speechless with amusement.
However, their gazes followed Dr. House's and fell on the robotic hand, which was now mostly exposed. They thought to themselves, "Dr. Wolfe really has all sorts of interesting friends..."
"I only have one leg that's damaged. With current technology, getting a prosthetic leg isn't that difficult,"
Dr. House said, examining the mechanical hand, a mocking smile returning to his lips. "But if treatment is delayed and a third leg becomes disabled, the difficulty of replacing it mechanically is far greater than that of a prosthetic leg.
You should be the expert in this area, shouldn't you?"
"...You must be Chuck's good friend."
Howard's lips twitched as he listened to Dr. House's sarcastic, threatening, and teasing remarks, and he couldn't help but mutter a complaint.
With Dr. House's uncharacteristically mischievous and unprofessional behavior, he wouldn't believe for a second that Dr. House wasn't Chuck's good friend.
But he had to admit that, based on his understanding, even with his talent in mechanics, he couldn't expect to invent a prosthetic as flexible as the original in his lifetime.
That's right!
He was an expert in this field, and his notebooks, filled with brilliant ideas, not only recorded numerous flashes of inspiration in mechanical design,
such as mechanical girlfriends and mechanical companions, but also, of course, self-improvement plans to match them.
As for why there were mechanical girlfriends and mechanical companions?
Well, Howard, with his potential to be a devoted family man, reasoned that he wasn't a jerk, and how could he possibly mistreat a mechanical girlfriend?
Yes,
a mechanical girlfriend is still a girlfriend!
Dr. House grinned maliciously. "Whether he and I are good friends is still up for debate, but I know you're definitely not his good friend~"
"..."
Little Howard wanted to cry. Of course—was this something a good friend would do?
"Not here, okay?"
Time was of the essence; he couldn't afford to waste any more time, so he could only plead.
He didn't want to expose his embarrassing situation to the unprofessional, unethical onlookers.
"Of course, no problem."
Even if Dr. House went too far, he wouldn't refuse this request. He ordered, "Take him to Exam Room 1!"
Exam Room 1 was the largest, convenient for a group of doctors to consult and learn together.
Little Howard was finally freed from the predicament of half-squatting to maintain a relative distance between himself and the mechanical hand. He lay down on the examination table, and the mechanical hand was safely placed on a platform beside him.
The only thing that embarrassed him was that the doctors were all huddled in a circle, filling his view with white coats. He also noticed that many of them were clearly unprofessional; their eyes were strange, and their suppressed laughter was almost overflowing.
The worst part was that Monica and the others hadn't come in, but there were female doctors among them, and some were even attractive.
He felt incredibly awkward...
"Let's look at this special case,"
Dr. House said with a smirk. As the attending physician for this consultation, he formally surveyed the group of doctors, announcing the start of the consultation, and slowly pulled back the blanket that Howard had been clinging to.
"Wow!"
"Whoa!"
"Holy crap!"
Even though everyone had already mentally prepared themselves, when the actual scene unfolded before them, even professionals like them couldn't help but gasp in shock.
Especially the male doctors.
They gasped and shifted uncomfortably.
"Everyone, be professional!"
Dr. House gave a reprimand, then smiled and carefully examined the situation, pacing around little Howard on the examination table.
"Doctor?"
Little Howard looked at Dr. House with a pained expression.
"What do you all think?"
Dr. House gestured for little Howard to calm down, then seriously asked the surrounding doctors.
"Such precise size control."
"Yes, these must be sensors, perfectly transmitting the contact force to the computer controller, automatically adjusting and adapting. The designer of this thing is a genius!"
"It's just that they took too big a step... How could they dare use such an experimental device directly? At least use it on less sensitive areas like the shoulder."
"..."
Little Howard lay on the examination table, listening to the doctors' discussion about him and his robotic arm, feeling like crying.
How could he not have thought of this?
He had used the robotic arm to massage his shoulder, and after testing and adjusting it, the massage, perfectly matching his size and pressure, was incredibly comfortable.
Then, as he massaged, he closed his eyes and, enjoying the sensation, exclaimed with satisfaction, "It's just like real hands!"
Upon hearing himself say this, he jolted, a sudden realization dawning on him. He opened his eyes, turned his head to look at the mechanical hand massaging his shoulder, and his gaze became almost possessed...
His mind raced with excitement, and he no longer cared about following scientific principles step by step. Of course, excitement led to action, and he took too big a step...
"Add some lubricant?"
"Judging by this, how could a mechanical genius like him not have thought of that? What do you think these are?"
"Then let's go straight to the bolt cutters?"
"No!"
Hearing a doctor suggest using the bolt cutters, young Howard panicked again, crying out, "I've already had one circumcision, I don't want another!"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you understand? It's obvious—he's Jewish!"
One doctor didn't quite understand Howard's words. What did he mean by "already had one circumcision"? Had he already had surgery at such a young age?
Others immediately reminded him to look closely, and then the doctor who hadn't understood also realized.
"Go call Chuck!"
Dr. House, leisurely watching the spectacle, let the doctors gather around and discuss, before speaking to the attractive Dr. Cameron, who seemed hesitant to speak but appeared to want to offer advice, and instructing, "This is his friend. This detective should have some very insightful suggestions."
Dr. Cameron had no choice but to go out and call him. A moment later, Chuck returned with her.
"Chuck!"
Despite his previous dissatisfaction with Chuck, Howard immediately forgot everything else upon seeing him, looking at him pitifully, hoping Chuck would immediately rescue him.
He might have developed a similar opinion of Chuck's character as Sheldon, but he had no doubt about Chuck's abilities.
"Have you all decided?"
Chuck ignored him, only looking at Dr. House.
"Looks like you have an idea?"
Dr. House smiled playfully.
"It's not difficult."
As Chuck spoke, he directly reached for the computer's restart button and pressed it.
"No!!!"
Little Howard couldn't stop it in time and could only let out a heart-wrenching scream.
However, the violent twisting sensation didn't come. With a mechanical click, the mechanical arm released.
"I'm okay, you're okay too..."
Little Howard sat up in shock, touching himself, then looking down at himself. He laughed and shouted, then tears streamed down his face uncontrollably.
It was from lingering fear!
If something had gone wrong, his life would have been ruined.
"Chuck, how did you know this would work?"
Little Howard quickly grabbed something to cover himself, checking himself repeatedly to make sure everything was alright, and asked in confusion.
"I don't know, I just wanted to try."
Chuck said seriously.
"..."
Little Howard froze, forcing a dry laugh: "Chuck, don't joke around!"
Chuck didn't speak, only giving him a look that said, 'I don't think this is a joke.'
Howard fell silent for a moment, then exploded, yelling at Chuck, "You don't know?! You dare to jeopardize my life's happiness without knowing?!?"
"I didn't jeopardize anything,"
Chuck said calmly.
"How so?"
Chuck's overly calm gaze immediately soothed Howard, his angry expression instantly turning to embarrassment.
Had he wronged Chuck?
Of course!
Chuck, a super genius, a renowned detective, and his cousin's boyfriend—how could he possibly act recklessly without being confident?
"Let me introduce you. This is Dr. Cameron, an emergency medicine specialist; this is Dr. Chase, a surgical specialist and intensive care specialist..."
Chuck began introducing the positions and expertise of the doctors around him to Howard.
But as Howard listened, he sensed something was wrong, his heart skipped a beat, and he finally couldn't help but interrupt, "What, what do you mean?"
Please don't say that even if he risked restarting, and something unexpected happened, these excellent doctors in various specialties could save him.
Please don't!!!
However, things rarely go as hoped, and Chuck confirmed his guess.
"How dare you!!!"
Little Howard roared from the depths of his soul.
"I'm doing this for your own good,"
Chuck said bluntly. "There's nothing wrong with trying it first. Otherwise, it'll definitely go to the bolt cutters, and you'll be worried the same way, plus you'll ruin your mechanical companion.
Oh, I heard that this isn't 'she,' it's 'it'—it should be a mechanical partner. You certainly don't want that destroyed, do you?
Besides, if you really have objections to this approach, then next time you come, just have them go straight to the bolt cutters."
"Next time?!?"
Howard, dressed, jumped off the examination table, angrily clutching his robotic arm as he stormed out, yelling, "I'm not stupid! How could there be a next time?!"
"A next time?! Classic!"
Dr. House, who had been watching the spectacle, couldn't help but laugh. Watching Howard's angry departure, he shrugged and smiled at the frowning Dr. Cameron.
"Like everybody lying, the only lesson humanity has learned from history is that humanity never learns from its mistakes!"
A few hours later.
Late at night.
Ross, half-asleep, received a call from Howard Wolowitz. After listening, he paused, then asked, "What do you mean you've been held hostage again?"
(End of Chapter)
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