Chapter 152: Your Extra, it's your Extra~
"Impossible."
Jake Peralta's smile faltered. Following Chandler's exaggerated gesture, he glanced at the ringing phone at his waist, still joking. "If that's the IRS calling, I'll immediately apply online to become a tax agent!"
"You're dreaming!"
Detective Amy Santiago scoffed.
The IRS pays tax agents much better than the NYPD. Jake's words were like an average student saying Harvard is okay, but if you can't get into an Ivy League school, you can go there.
"Jake Peralta."
Jake picked up the phone, answered it casually, and gave his name. Under everyone's gaze, he hummed a few responses before hanging up. He spread his hands and said with an exaggerated smile, "See? It's not the IRS!"
"That's anticlimactic!"
Chandler looked at Chuck. "That's not funny!"
"Who was calling?"
Chuck ignored Chandler and looked at Jake.
"Yeah, who was it?"
Chandler realized, staring at Jake.
"You don't know them..."
Jake tried to evade, but under the smirking gazes of the others, he could only grimace. "It's my landlord. He said my lease is up and I need to move out."
At this point, his nonchalant attitude could no longer be maintained, and he grumbled, "That's the apartment my grandma left me. It holds all my childhood memories. I can't give it up. I want to buy it!"
"Ha!"
Detective Amy Santiago burst into laughter. "You? Buying an apartment? You're already drowning in debt. Who would lend you money? Loan sharks?"
"If you mean the shadier the organization, the more likely they are to lend me money, then I might have a chance this time at the bank."
Jake, after a brief moment of vulnerability, resumed his playful demeanor.
"That's funny, you Jewish families seem to love family heirlooms,"
Chandler quipped. "Chuck's the best accountant around, maybe you could hire him for help."
Monica's apartment was also inherited from her grandmother. Because it's spacious and well-located, the rent is based on her grandmother's era with limited annual increases, so it's still very cheap. That's why she's been pretending her grandmother still lives there.
"Really?"
Jake glanced at Chuck hopefully.
"You can't afford me,"
Chuck said bluntly.
"Come on, have you seen my sweet ride?"
Jake immediately bristled, acting like he was wealthy.
"That's all you have, that beat-up car."
Detective Amy Santiago immediately deflated his ego. "That's why you're in so much debt."
"Maybe I could sell my car..."
Chandler said, unconsciously trying to be helpful. But as he spoke, he saw everyone looking at him strangely. He immediately realized the implications of his words and had to finish lamely: "That way, the debt would be gone."
"Good thinking, man."
Jake patted Chandler's shoulder and asked seriously, "Do you have money?"
"..."
Chandler's mouth twitched, and he was speechless.
It wasn't that he couldn't think of comebacks, but it seemed inappropriate to make jokes that might be misinterpreted in front of the attractive detective he had a crush on.
"What do you think?"
Jake looked at Chuck. "Can I afford you?"
"No."
Chuck shook his head. "Even if your car is paid off... you still can't afford me."
"..."
Jake was speechless.
"When do you have to move out?"
Chandler, who genuinely liked Jake, dropped the teasing and asked seriously.
"Within a week,"
Jake shrugged.
"Within a week?"
Chandler protested, "Things like this usually require months of notice."
"Do you think he reads his mail?"
Chuck asked.
"Hey, I read my mail!"
Jake complained defensively. "I read it all at once. I even cleared out my bathtub just for the mail, and now it's overflowing."
"Are you sure you're not just avoiding showers?"
Chuck asked.
"Ugh."
Detective Amy Santiago immediately covered her nose in disgust. "No wonder you always have that smell."
"My hygiene is fine..."
Jake was speechless.
Everyone laughed and chatted for a while before leaving.
"Chandler, are you busy tonight?"
Detective Amy Santiago stopped Chandler as he followed Chuck out. "If not, let's hang out tonight. I know a great restaurant."
"Just us?"
Chandler paused for a moment, then half-raised his hands, swayed his body, and nodded with a smile: "Sounds great!"
"It's settled then."
Detective Amy Santiago smiled and walked away.
"Did you see that?"
Chandler jumped up as the attractive detective left, excitedly addressing Chuck.
"No."
Chuck shook his head.
"OMG! This is the most perfect moment of my life!"
Chandler panicked, glancing around to see if there were any witnesses or security cameras. He had to have proof of what had just happened!
Chuck ignored him and continued walking out.
Chandler searched everywhere but found nothing. Frustrated, he followed Chuck out, asking, "She was so clear, there's no way you didn't hear her. You're messing with me, aren't you?"
"Yes,"
Chuck nodded.
"Yes!!!"
Chandler jumped up, waving his hands and shouting, "You have to tell everyone this news. I, Chandler Bing, was asked out by a beautiful detective. Today is the best day of my life. If I had known this would happen, I would have followed you on cases long ago. This is so exciting and fun!"
"As long as you're happy,"
Chuck said calmly.
He drove Chandler back home and didn't go upstairs, driving straight back to New Jersey.
Chandler had practically bounced upstairs.
"Looking happy?"
Monica and Rachel, seeing him return so cheerfully, came over to visit and teased.
"Happier than you can imagine,"
Chandler said, picking up his toothbrush and beginning to brush.
"Tell us, tell us!"
Rachel's face was filled with curiosity.
"OMG!"
Monica exclaimed. "Don't tell me you're stealing my Chuck."
"Ha!"
Rachel couldn't help but burst out laughing as Monica used the same joke she'd made to tease her.
Brushing teeth had become a running joke between Chuck and Monica.
"Ha, ha,"
Chandler chuckled through the mirror as he brushed his teeth, looking at Monica, who was trying to hold back her laughter. "Very funny."
"You guys are allowed to tease me about brushing my teeth all day, but I'm not allowed to tease you?"
Monica laughed.
"Fine, I don't care."
Chandler continued brushing, wiggling with excitement. "Today is my most perfect day ever."
"You know we saw the photo of you leaning against the wall throwing up?"
Monica pointed out.
"..."
Chandler paused,
then grumbled, "Of course you've seen it. I've always said Chuck's cold on the outside, but he's actually pretty witty and humorous. I'd be surprised if he didn't show it to you." He shrugged nonchalantly, "But it still doesn't change my mind. That thrilling record of getting lost on the subway at night, making it to Brooklyn and back alive can be thrown in the trash. Today is the most exciting and wonderful day of my life."
"As long as you're happy,"
Monica said, suppressing a smile.
"..."
Chandler's smile faltered. A sense of foreboding crossed his mind at those strangely familiar words. Just as he was about to question her, Monica had already dragged Rachel away. Unable to figure it out, he let it go for now. Above all else, the date was paramount.
He couldn't afford to make a bad impression on the beautiful detective. After checking his breath repeatedly to make sure the vomiting incident hadn't affected him, he pulled out a piece of gum, put it in his mouth, and smiled at himself in the mirror. "Your Extra, it's your Extra~"
Well.
It wasn't that Chandler was psychic, but he'd always loved humor and comedy. He'd once considered a career in advertising, but he lacked the courage to step outside his comfort zone and usually just recorded his own jokes for personal amusement.
This was a commercial concept he'd imagined for Extra gum.
He'd envisioned him and a beautiful woman meeting in a supermarket, everything flowing so smoothly and naturally, culminating in their first encounter at the checkout counter. This innocent, sweet relationship between a man and a woman, if represented by Extra gum, would surely make for a fantastic commercial.
And now, finally, there was a female lead.
Late at night,
Chuck's phone rang. He picked it up, checked it, and answered it. Chandler's indignant voice immediately came through: "You knew everything, didn't you?"
"Yes,"
Chuck admitted, without even asking what he meant.
"Amy thought I was her gay best friend,"
Chandler blurted out. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Didn't you know?"
Chuck retorted. "What else would she think of you?"
"Her leading man, of course!"
Chandler, exasperated, blurted out every advertising slogan he'd imagined.
"Your Extra,"
Chuck said matter-of-factly.
"..."
Chandler was dumbfounded.
How did Chuck know that?
Did he really have the ability to read minds and know everything?
"Right,"
Chandler calmed down immediately, giving a wry, self-deprecating laugh. "I should have figured that out earlier. What else could have made her so forward and enthusiastic? I'm not you!"
He grumbled a bit, then hung up.
"Continue,"
Chuck said, putting down his phone and addressing the computer screen.
"Was that your friend just now? How amusing."
On the computer screen, Alex, a blonde beauty with an intellectual and melancholic demeanor, smiled, her ice-blue eyes filled with joy and a strange hint of warmth. "You should spend more time with interesting friends like him."
"I know."
Chuck nodded calmly, unsurprised.
New Hampshire.
In the underground chamber of the bunker.
A girl in white focused her gaze on a monitor, watching Alex. She tilted her head slightly, then straightened it, her eyes vacant and her face expressionless.
(End of Chapter)
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