*Disclaimer: Sweet silence of the devil, throughout its runtime contains light profanity used on a semi-regular basis, mild themes of violence as well as heavy themes of bullying, social outcasting and self harm. there is also some references to non deliberate self harm, reader discretion is advised. if you are triggered by any of said themes i would advise clicking away now, as well as if you are below the age of thirteen or below the age of sixteen without parents permission.
There he stood in front of the class, brown hair just short of touching his earlobes, blue eyes staring a hole into the ground, wearing a hoodie with the album cover of resurrection by Tupac on it. "This is Ethan" the teacher says, seemingly unbothered by having a new impressionable mind to inspire, "he's new so I hope you'll be nice to him, or at the very least treat him with some decency…whatever just sit wherever's free". Ethan scans the classroom and sees two free seats, the only thing in common between the seats is their proximity to the same girl. She sits in the corner,she holds an A5 notebook tightly to her chest, she looks blankly at her desk. Ethan immediately notices her chestnut brown hair and how the light bounces off it but he gives it no more thought. She blushes slightly as Ethan walks to the seat next to her, but does not look up from her desk. Ethan takes the seat next to her and the classroom falls silent, people gasp silently and shoot stares at him. Then the silence is broken. Tap. tap. Tap. tap.
Ethan looks to his left and sees the girl nervously rolling her fingers against the table. Everyone in the classroom looks annoyed, Ethan on the other hand looks worried, what could he possibly have done, why is everyone seemingly so angry at him. The teacher begins the lesson, Ethan tries to listen but his focus is on all the possible mistakes he could have made to cause this reaction from his peers, other than the fact the teacher is talking about the AIDS epidemic Ethan is completely lost. He looks back at the girl who is tapping her foot anxiously against the floor while writing something in her notebook, it was clear whatever she was writing was unrelated to the class as she had another notebook open to a near empty page on her desk, only having the title "AIDS epidemic" at the top.
The class finally ends, Ethan walks out of the classroom and notices the girl waiting for everyone else to leave. As he's walking he sees somebody waiting for him, as he gets close to him this guy with a charismatic voice says, "hey Ethan, my name's Kyle…walk with me". The pair start walking through the halls, Kyle starts talking "look I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt since youre new…but stay the fuck away from that broad", Ethan's eyes widen, he stops in his tracks completely taken aback by the nonchalant tone of what Kyle just said, but Kyle keeps riffing. "You heard those fucking noises she was making shes the fucking devil, stay away from her even if it's for your own good, there's something wrong with her man, I got everyone to give you a chance but I might have to intervene if you sit near her again". Ethan doesn't respond, Ethan keeps walking with his head down, "here I'll get your lunch…as a little welcome gift".
As they reach the canteen Kyle points out a table of four other boys and gestures for Ethan to sit there while he walks towards the counter to order food, Kyle returns to the table with two plates and sees everybody staring daggers at Ethan, there's even a noticeable bruise on his cheek that wasnt there before, Kyle sits down, "yo what the fucks going on, what happened…did you guys punch him whats the matter with you", the whole table falls silent for a few seconds until the guy sat next to Ethan quietly mumbles, "it's his fault for being a freak lover". Kyle tries to talk but Ethan beats him to the punch, he quietens and waits for Ethan to start talking, without looking up Ethan quietly says "wh…whats wrong with her…that girl? Why is she the 'devil'?". the person sat next to Ethan snaps back, aggressively, "I oughta fucking hit you again, what the fuck is wrong with you what kind of dumb question is that" , "woah woah" Kyle says holding his hands up "I said give him a chance he doesn't know ok? Hey Ethan I'll tell you whats wrong with her…shes a fucking freak, she gets all weird when people get near her or even look at her, some of the kids who've known her for a while said shes been like that since elementary, shes constantly writing or drawing in that stupid notebook aswell and she keeps it so close to herself, my guess is she's planning a shooting or something thats why she wont let anyone see it…", Ethan thinks to himself "that's it?"Kyle continues "...look just stay away from her alright", he looks down and sees Ethan's tupac hoodie, he smirks "hey, dont make a sucker and you equal". "That's…does he think that's a tupac quote?" Ethan thinks to himself. The bell rings, "I gotta use the bathroom, I'll see you lot at maths" Ethan says.
Ethan enters his maths class, he notices the teacher isn't here yet, he also notices that the only free seats are the same ones as earlier, he sees the girl, the hood of her black baggy hoodie covers most of her head, she now appears to be sketching something in her notebook, something seems different about her this time…she's smiling, it's just a little grin but she seems like she's fully in her own world, content. Ethan gulps, knowing he's more than likely about to ruin her peace, he considers walking out but it's too late, everybody's seen him, on shaky legs he slowly walks toward the desk next to her, he lowers himself on to the seat, despite the shaking and profuse sweating he assumes a confident posture, he puts one foot on the chair and rests his arm in his knee, tick. Tick. tick .tick
She starts again,making noise, she stops drawing and holds her notebook to her chest with one hand, the other is nervously tapping her pen against the desk, the sound fills the classroom, Ethan stays strong but under the surface alarms are going off in his head, panic, his head becomes lighter, the room slants slightly, everything seems darker, like the colour has been drained from the room slightly, but he stays confident, "don't show them any weakness Ethan, that's where you went wrong last time Ethan", he thinks to himself. Everybody's looking at him now, he's going to get the hiding of his life when he leaves this classroom, they could hit him anywhere, with anything, what if they've got a knife, what if he gets burned, bullies can be ruthless, Ethan knows this better than anyone. The sound of the pen stopped, she's now digging her fingers into her thighs, violently, the pain is too much for her but she can't stop, something draws her to it, even proximity to anyone makes her tick, there's too much attention on her for her liking, while his head is spinning her legs shake with pain. Ethans breath gets thinner, he hides it from the rest, nobody knows his brain is holding him prisoner, he looks as confident as anyone else, he looks like hes standing up for the girl, in reality hes just trying to survive, "you're finished" he thinks to himself, "one day and youve already fucked it, it follows you, you're the problem Ethan, it's you, you always attract trouble, you can comfort yourself all you want but it's worthless, you are worthless". Then all of a sudden. BANG!
The teacher enters the room, the door slams behind her. The loud sudden noise fills the room, the girl squeals at the sudden noise. Ethan hears this squeal and everything stops, his breathing slowly regulates itself, the room is still dark, slanted, he's still sweating but he feels himself softening, the voice has stopped, he still feels like he's trapped but his brain has stopped shouting at him, he looks at the girl. The girl is still digging her fingers into her thighs, the teacher begins talking, she doesn't listen, she's too distracted, he's distracted too, he's focused on her, she feels his gaze but doesn't look up, she starts making a swishing noise with her mouth, she can't help it. Ethan hears this, it's quieter than the teacher but Ethan is close enough to hear it, he averts his gaze from her but it's too late, her legs shake in agony, her fingers still dug into them. A thought enters Ethan's mind, "this girl, nobody's hurting her…but she hurts herself, that's not right…what can i do? Im fucking helpless". She eventually gets back to drawing, the swishing noise never stops but she seems like she's in less pain, she catches Ethan's eye again, she looks up, their eyes meet for no more than a second, she looks down nervously, the swishing noise intensifies, her foot is violently tapping against the ground, Ethan had enough time to notice her eyes, there was life behind them, wonder, despite looking like she wanted to go nowhere she looked like she wanted to see everything. Yet again another class passes with Ethan paying no attention, he finds himself leaving the classroom late, waiting for everybody to leave, hoping just maybe the hiding that's due for him will go away before he leaves, she's also waiting to be the last one to leave the classroom. As the students filed out she prepares to leave, she walks past Ethan and let's out one soft word, her head down, both hands clutching her notebook tightly to her chest, she shakes, "sorry", her voice is soft as butter, it lacks any sort of punch, any confidence. Ethan stands there alone, he leaves the classroom, it's no good theres somebody waiting for him, a big guy, he hits Ethan straight into the stomach, "stop encouraging her, shes a fucking freak" he says aggressively before walking off. Ethan lays curled on the floor, clutching his stomach, "fuck this" he thinks to himself, "I cant do another two hours, I'm going home".